I'm coming at this as a writing instructor (and a background in art, for you comic makers ). If ANYONE would like more thorough direction and you appreciated my feedback, let me know!
@Larslaustsen - I'll echo what was said above: the errors make it hard to get into. I don't mind a few (lord knows I have my own errors and whatnot), but it's important to polish as much as you can before you put your work out. Having to dedicate part of your brain to correction makes it so you can't be immersed as much in the story.
@Allyx - Someday I'll have the proud distinction of saying "Oh, Allyx? Yeah, I knew they'd become something big. Totally subbed first." I look forward to my hipster status
@feuersichel - Your comic seems really interesting! But it also feels a little rushed in the storytelling/character development department. I love your art style, though!
@thestrangeteapot - Interesting premise, and while the errors are present, they're not too bad. What mostly throws me off is the switch between tenses and your sentence variance. A lot of your sentences follow the same patterns and length constraints. It creates a pattern that feels very "And then this happened. And then this happened. And then..." Shake up the length and the structure - it will throw the pattern off and make reader brains go "Oh, wait, there's no pattern, I have to pay PROPER attention!" and then they'll read more closely (Brain science - it's fun!)
@amberberry - I'd like to see some more buildup of the background, who Em is, and the mystery - but honestly, I subbed! This isn't bad so far!
@tchotchkeco - I'm subbed! LOVE the art, and the story is interesting so far!
Here's mine up for the chopping block! I REALLY don't mind critiques at all - feedback is always appreciated