-If a ordinary man puts on a dress or skirt, he turns instantly into a feminine girl and no one can tell that he is actually a man
-Oh and make this cross-dressing man kinky as hell because you have some fetish or something
-When writing a mother character, make her pretty pure saintly angel, an ugly nagging hag, or really sexy.
-When writing a father character, just make him really really really stupid. Or a boozing abusive asshole.
-The playboy who can get ANY girl should then turn around and just want your plain jane MC.
-All disabled people should have whiny self pity backstories. Like "she was blind and everyone hated her and no one understood her, she had a gift but no one would even give her a chance."
- Designing a monster/alien/ect species? Make sure the females look more like attractive human women while the males look more like actual monsters! It's called sexual dimorphism, you know.
I always found it weird when female anthros would have hair when the males didn't... I usually design anthros with human head hair but that goes for all my anthro characters regardless of gender.
The protagonist must wear black all over, top to bottom. And the bad guy has to wear white (also have white hair) and make sure it's all over as well. The one trait both have to share is they must have lots of zippers. Zippers on their shirt pockets, their arms, shoulders, down the sides of pants, on their butts, double zippers in front, zippers EVERYWHERE! Oh, but for some reason their shirt is a button up shirt, very important.
*if your character is a monster, one word: spikes
*remember countries you were told by the news that are evil are always evil, so make sure that any character that is Russian or of any Asian country besides Japan are evil.
*Women are either tom-boys or girly-girls, if you choose in-between make sure she's the most average person in the universe.
*every character should be the same age
*villains should always be as visibly opposite as your main character the same is true for personality and motive.
*villains represent the opposite of your beliefs and heroes represent your beliefs.
*your character can't be deep and philosophical if they aren't depressed. Optimistic should = foolish.
*go crazy with hair highlights, everyone has hair highlights.
*totally assume either non-US characters act either exactly the same as US characters with no cultural differences or are completely strange and savage.
*Everyone must be conventionally attractive, nobody is flawed, strange looking, or possesses any interesting unique facial features (like different facial proportions), this is especially true for women. You want as many of your characters to get romantic fanart as possible so make sure you represent that in every panel that all your girl characters are potentially interested in eachother.
*Breasts = humor, the bigger the breasts the more humorous it is if somebody falls into them.
*step-parents are always cruel
*if a guy is tough he will have a gravely voice and is a loner
*if a girl is tough that means she will express no emotions...because no emotions equals tough and cool
*a character can never contradict themselves, people never contradict themselves it doesn't exist in real life so assume characters that have contradictions are a result of bad writing.
*If you are making an alien race make sure to make them human looking enough to ensure you'll have enough alien hotties in your roster of characters.
*What's that? You still wanna make your character unconventionally attractive? Well okay, just make sure it matches a specific fetish and that every character in your story satisfies this criteria.
Uhhgg I made myself want to vomit writing these.
- Make sure that every single one of your female character's number 1 most important desire is the men in their life. Make all their goals revolve around men. Strong independent women should especially obsess over how independent and manless they are so a man can roll into her life and prove to her how wrong she is.
- All women over 108lbs should be considered fat, and if you do draw a "fat girl" character, make sure she's only slightly bigger than all your other girls.
- Make ABSOLUTELY SURE you have a character that can explain everything to your readers, especially if it makes no sense for them to know it. Your readers will find that character interesting and wise.
- You need to make sure you have a self insert character to soapbox all your opinions. The only other way to make your story acceptable if your self insert isn't going to soapbox, is they need to at least get with the character you think is the hottest.
- You need to constantly give your main character new powers throughout your story. They shouldn't relate to each other either, that would make too much sense. Better yet, just give your character every power at the start.
- Every character also needs super healing abilities so if they get injured in a horrific way they won't have to be out of the story for more than a couple pages.
- The only ugly people who are allowed to find love are men. These same ugly men also have to be unable to talk to women
- All your men have to want sex. That's how it works in real life, that's how it works in fiction.
- If your character is a virgin, they have to want to fix that. If they don't, make sure to write them as stuck up as you can, they can't be liked.
- Your gay couples have to always be super hot and attractive to look at.
- If your main character isn't the most attractive character in the story, make sure all characters hotter than them are jerks.
Here an interesting thing I noticed:
*When drawing a sexy character completely neglect any other attractive feature besides breasts, breasts are the only thing people find important and sexy, after all nobody likes butts or hips or lips or legs only creeps like those things. How you always want it is "she's pretty + large breasts." That's rather boring but that's how our overly antiquated ideals of beauty dictate us to create characters. "pretty + large hips, good butt with modest breasts" No way! I don't see that in any work of mainstream fiction, so don't do that.
*When drawing an attractive male character remember men always need short hair to portray they are men, historically men always had short hair, girls always had long hair. If you male character has long hair he has to be a loser, stoner, homeless, or dead-beat. For him to become a decent character he must get a haircut sometime in the story to indicate the change.
*Thinking of making a metalhead main character? Don't! If you do, then make sure he/she will completely misrepresent the subculture just try to make the character a hodgepodge of edgy and dark things.
Here it comes- I'm gonna- yep this time no joke- Bluuueeeehhgghhh....alright I'm okay now.