What do you feel / do, when OTHERS are envious of you?

[unknown_user]

There are a lot of topics about how to deal with your own envy... but what do you do with an envy of others?

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As for me... Fortunately, I face envious to my art/writing not often (yet?!), obviously because of my inexperience in it. But even these rare occasions worry me, because they can potentially turn into the source of problems in the future. In some other areas of life it already bothers me a lot and caused me some problems.
I mean, I certainly enjoy, when people admit my achievements and give me their respect (who don't enjoy it? ). But when they are envy, it bothers me and sometimes even makes me feel guilty. It's especially sad, when your friends drift away from you just because they don't feel comfortable with you because of their envy, while you still want to hang out with them.
If only I knew what can I do... I feel like I can't do much with the feelings of others. But if anyone has an advice, you are welcome.

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UPD [after several posts]: I certainly understand that people, who make you feel bad intentionally because of their envy and don't want to struggle with these feelings, don't worth your worry, and it will be even better if they leave your life. My question is more about those buddies, who aren't monosemantic toxic, understand destructiveness of this feeling and don't seems to make you feel bad voluntary, but want to change.
And of course I understand that envy of others is not a reason to stop what you are doing. And that it shouldn't be a reason of your guilt (but sometimes it is, involuntary).

[beta1042]

I try to not waste time on other people's problems that are out of my control. If a friend is drifting away because of something so petty... well I guess they weren't really a friend afterall. I dunno, I just don't see much value in keeping those types of people in my life, but maybe this is just because I've had enough real problems (like near death experiences) to realize life is way too short to spend it with people who make you feel bad.

I get that this is a little easier said than done though. I guess at the time I acknowledge the situation and feel sad/mourn for a few hrs and then move on. I remember the people and things in my life who don't make me feel bad and just focus on them.

[unknown_user]

It mostly sounds reasonable... Except that I'm such a type of person, too.
I envy others people as well, and it affects negatively some of my relationships. I'm trying to do something with it and be more rational, but not always succeed. So who am I to judge?

[punkarsenic]

how other people feel isnt my problem. ive found sometimes in classroom settings, though, that envy can turn to hostility and just weeeeeird social dynamics... but that comes from an immaturity that also isnt my problem. i think my solution is to just tell anyone who starts being an arse due to envy to fuck off, and anyone whos discouraged by my relative talent gets my full support and the entire 'this isnt innate its practice and learning, read understanding comics and do some life drawing' spiel

[mariusthered]

the answer to the question depends on how the person who is envious is acting towards me.

I have always tried to live my life helping people. In hindsight putting others before me has caused me a miserable life and i have lost more money than i dare even try to calculate. but that said if an artist is discouraged by my artwork I would do my best to help them believe in their own art. Jealousy is an emotion that can consume you and such negativity is no good for creative practises. If you put negativity into art the same will come out and make you look and feel worse.
I know in the past people have been upset with my work and instead of asking me to help them improve they have started trying to make me think negative about my own work. This can be easy done if you have doubts about your talent, and we all do from time to time. Believe in yourself and your work and never allow others to turn you against your own art. you might not get a following right away, but being true to your art will in time give back.

[kimketli]

Never really experienced it. I mean no one admitted it to me, so I can not tell.
But it's interesting to know this from your perspective.
Envy effects me differently. I most likely want to be closer to that person I envy because I think that person has something precious. The only thing what makes me sad or negative about it if that person doesn't want that. That can make me feel so much less...
But you should never feel bad if someone tells you about his/her envious feelings. I know you don't want that person feel bad because you're a emphatic person but trust they also don't want you to feel bad about this. If they do, they have a shitty personality trait they should work on.

Btw I was envy just once. Before that I thought I'm not capable of it. But it seems you can experience new feelings after twenty-some years :DDD
Next time I will not admit this type of feeling I guess because based on your point of view I don't want that person who I hold dear to feel guilt about me.

[kimketli]

Where did you meet such petty people who tried to make you feel bad just because of their enviousness? O.O

[Akhdas]

That's interesting because it's quite impossible for anyone to envy me because my life sucks ass.

[Kann]

I feel annoyed and a little bit guilty. I know it's not my fault someone is not doing as good as me, but I just HATE when they compare it to my situation. What should I do about it? Solve all your problems?

I don't know. I just hate when people use my achievements to bring themselves down.

[mariusthered]

so called Friends. one person in particular started being very negative about my caricatures around the same time i had just sold some over seas. but the is a thing about friends, while trying not to use them or allow them to use you, people have their uses from time to time and putting up with petty things is often better than burning bridges.

[claiborneart]

With friends, we'll usually just diffuse the situation with a combination of honesty + terrible jokes: ex. "Man, I wish I could do colors half as good as you....can I eat your liver to gain your abilities?"

As for people I wouldn't feel comfortable making bad cannibalism jokes with, someone's only told me they were envious of my comic's sub count once, and it actually made me really happy. (Felt like I had finally made it to the other side of fame, ya know?)
But yeah, I offered to give them advice/crit on their work, and it seemed to all go okay.

[kimketli]

I can't speak on behalf of everyone but when I felt it I didn't do it because I wanted to. :< It just happens.

[BobbyjoeX]

i dont think anyone is, cause remember, i only piss people off

[vworksart]

I.. don't think anyone is envious of me. I'm not that enviable lol

[Shanny8]

I really dont think anyone is envious of me...I try to stay under the radar and not bring attention to myself.

[AmysGames]

Other people being envious isn't something I can really control. What does bug me is when they use that envy to then whine to my face about "oh you're so much better at art/writing/whatever than me, I'll never be that talented," yadda yadda. Like, please don't be so hard on yourself? I'm sorry I put more time and effort into a talent than you did? It feels like you're trying to guilt trip me?

[Penni]

Uh, I have no idea of other people are envious of me. 🧐

[joannekwan]

No one's ever expressed blatant envy of me.
But having people go "You are ssooooo lucky to [insert thing here]" to which I usually rebut with a list of negatives about my situation if I know them, or a simple 'yeah' or 'thanks' for a stranger.
Or if they're downtrodden about their own creative skills, I'll go 'Just takes practice. It took me like 20 years.'

[Maps]

I had a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and they invited me to visit, so I went over to their place. They eventually got drunk and shoved me into their bathroom, locking it, and began crying and telling me how much they wanted to be me and always envied me and my life and my family. But, it was all done in a very bizarre way and I was incredibly uncomfortable about the experience (it had actually scared me).
So from that point on I sort of distanced myself from that person and, honestly, they look happier now. Maybe I was a point of anxiety in their life, if that’s how they felt about me all along.
Sometimes it’s fine to let friends drift away or to make a move for yourself if you think it’s for the best.
Other than that, everyone else seems to see me as the very average person I truly am.

[SleepingPoppy]

I had an at the time close friend who had an unfortunate cocktail of depression and envy. Depression has a way of making something like that a lot worse and a lot darker, and it ended up strangling our relationship.

Eventually the relationship crumbled, but it honestly took years longer than it should. The envy over my art turned into envy for me in a lot of ways, none of which were really grounded in reality. It's not about you actually being better than the other person in any way, but their failing to recognize whats good in themselves or take responsibility for their own well being.

Be careful of anyone that makes something they dislike in themselves your problem.