What makes you a "somebody" in life?

[dawgofdawgness]

I talked about how I had silly daydreams about getting a comic made into a movie and going on talk shows, of people being really interested in my insight into my stories. "So you want engagement?" they asked. "What else is fame?" I replied. "It's five million people caring about you."

THIS. This is what I've been looking for! I wanted to see what the connection between wanting to be famous and wanting to be a "somebody" was, but, like others said, there are different definitions of being a "somebody" in life. I feel like if you asked everyone on the planet, a good number of the people would admit that they want to become famous. Like you said, it's like having millions of people care about you. And there's definitely some other kind of psychological reasoning behind the crave for fame. I just wonder if some people genuinely believe that becoming famous will turn them into "somebodies".

Personally I get pretty insecure when I imagine my future and I do fear becoming a "nobody". So when I think about my best - case - scenario in the future, it's always me as a famous artist, writer, anything. And then I realize how silly that is. Being famous clearly doesn't automatically make you a happier person or have any more worth than someone who isn't. Not to mention the huge burden famous people for being a public figure. But every time I imagine a bright future, without fail, there's always fame involved. I wonder why?

Thanks everyone who posted for your insight!! For context, I'm trying to build all the characters in my story around the concept of being a somebody, as the title suggests. That's why I'm trying to get some perspectives.

[faeriesandents]

For me (minerrale) being a somebody is simply being yourself to the fullest. I don't care for money or fame, I just want to have fun and maybe make people smile with my stories and silliness
So me being a somebody would be, me being a writer who manages to touch at least 1 person with a novel. And being free.
Free as in "I can travel the world if I feel like it, I can jump around and laugh in the middle of a marketplace if I feel like it, I don't care what people or society think"!!
Being a nobody is like being a sheep, blocked in a path you haven't chosen and are too afraid to escape from. But that's just my idea of it, I guess

[hundpappan]

Good question.. I think my dog and dogs overall is an important part. Aside from creating that and dog training is my biggest passion.

[LT1986]

Thank you for making the forum thread. I believe that I am a somebody no matter what other people think. I'm not just saying this as a cliché'. I am working on some things that not only will manifest my belief about myself, but passes the standards that some other people use. If I grade myself by the standards that some other people use, I would be a nobody right now.

[Draconic]

The "somebody" label is extremely overrated and not worth your health if you can't handle it.

When I was a "somebody", a VIP, I was the center of attention and everything was push on to me. They expected me to do everything, fix everything. The pressure was way too high for me, I was all alone with no mental support. After a year, I got anxiety and depression, I decided to give up and seak for professional help. It has been more than 2 years and I still get PTSD from that.

Today, I am just a "nobody", no one really expect me to do anything important, and I am trying to be a professional comic artist in my time.

I am enjoying being a nobody of to society.

[SeraphicMayin]

It really depends on the definition of Somebody that one takes.

At its core, everyone who knows someone is somebody because they can be identified.

Humans are immensely social creatures. We require meaningful interaction to survive. That's why people who are satisfied have close relationships that fulfill their sense of belonging.

So it boils down to desire.

For some the label is meaningless. They live their life without caring likely because they assume they are somebody as default, at least to someone else.

Alternatively, if someone is in a negative frame of mind, unwilling to form close bonds with others, they may resign themselves to being nobody. At least, nobody that anybody cares about.

Then there's the fame aspect of being "well-known". Regardless if the scale of fame is among neighborhood children or history itself, many people judge their own "somebody-ness" based on how many people know of them.

I personally throw away all such labels. I have people who know me as I really am and I have people who only know me cause of my work but they don't really know me personally. So in that manner I am somebody in relation to them. But I figure I am nobody to a good 7billion others who have never heard of me. It really depends on context.

I suppose a thing to explore for characters is do they internally justify their somebody-ness or do they look for outside validation, which can be and is rather fickle.

[Futapas]

Being somebody is an illusion , what you are is constantly changing as you exist in the flow of time and you are experiencing the changes in the world around you, you can not be steadfast in a universe that is constantly changing, an energy that constantly transforms and interacts with itself .

[paperwren]

I love thinking about stuff like this, thanks for making this thread!

It's kind of interesting that people are talking about how some people don't care about what others think while others care too much. In one sense that's true, but in another we can never truly exist apart from other people, so the whole of our identity is tied to the society we exist in. All the choices we make and the way we view ourselves is framed by how other people will perceive it. Even people who are rebelling or saying they don't care what others think of them are responding to others existence. Which, I mean, still do what you want who cares really, but kinda interesting to think about.

I do agree though it can be dangerous to tie your mental health to outside approval, if you aren't the one setting the terms of your worth things can get bad fast. This is especially true with the idea of fame where the relationships you are building are fleeting and often really one sided. Fans can feel like they intimately know someone who is famous, while the famous person never really knows anything intimate about their fans in the same way. I think that's why there's always this craving for more growth, you're never satisfied with the level of attention your getting because it's not associated with solid relationships involving give and take, where people actually know you on a personal level and not just through what you show to the public. It can become really addictive, because you get a little rush of satisfaction from these brief mostly empty interactions with people and then either they're done with you, or you start getting desensitized to it and only get that rush again when it's even more people praising you. So being somebody is maybe something you can't ever reach because it's a goal post that's always moving.

Or I've been awake for close to 24 hours. It's one of those.

[qwerty]

Being a "somebody" vs. a "nobody" is just an arbitrary classification that people invented, and people can and will define it however they want.

In the end though, concepts are just concepts. In reality, people are not "somebodies" or "nobodies", they just are what they are.

Often people will try to define themselves by just listing the conceptual buckets they fit into, like "Asian, male, young person, artist, introvert, "good person", "INTJ", "person who likes animals", "somebody / nobody", etc.

But the reality of who you are isn't something you can intellectually define, you can only perceive it directly by paying attention without trying to mentally fit yourself into random categories.

[Cavechan]

I work at a sports apparel company and we do a lot of work with local little league teams. Occasionally, people will come to pick up uniforms or get help and I help directly with people too. That gives me a sense of being a somebody. When someone thinks "I need help from someone" and they think about me.

There's certainly more of that sense than drawing comics which is just pure solitude. I went to a manga artist panel a number of years ago and I still remember when he asked the audience if anyone would go to cafes or the like to draw, a few people raised their hands, and he said you shouldn't do that. Comic artists work best in solitude. But you can still be a somebody if you do local conventions or are able to get your work out to people and touch their hearts. I haven't reached those levels yet though.

I worked at a local gallery for about 5 years, during that time was when I got engaged to my husband. There was one customer who I met a couple of times and she noticed my ring so I explained I was engaged. Not long after, she came back and gave me a gift certificate to a local restaurant as an engagement gift! Even though I was just the sales associate at this gallery and we only talked a couple of times. That made me feel like a somebody too.

[baasinsimple]

It's all about making it worth it in your eyes. For me it's worth it, I've met people who care about me, people I've made a positive impact on and most of all, I have a good enough life that gives me the ability to get up every morning. I guess a nobody is just someone who can't justify their own value with things and people they love. Of course a 'nobody' can always become a 'somebody' given enough enough effort and help.

[TheThoughtfulBoxful]

lol what's with all these deep threads coming up on the forums nowadays??

Like what do you have to do to justify your existence?

/I'm probably going to regret admitting to this/

I've found that creating things (as in writing stories, illustrating, self-publishing projects, finishing a certain webcomic..) helps me to maintain a sense of "somebody-ness", and I don't think that's inherently a good thing.

like, I feel pressured to keep busy so I'm not just sitting on my butt "wasting time". I want to take every opportunity as a chance to prove myself, or showcase my talents, if you will, and I get really frustrated when I feel I haven't measured up or made the most of said opportunity.

I think this kind of thinking isn't the greatest... your self worth shouldn't be measured by how much you create or do, and it shouldn't be a contest. but sometimes I can't help thinking I'm in a race against the clock to make The Next Big Thing, and against other people to be the best of the best.

it's super weird and I don't really like it, but I constantly find my mind drifting towards this way of thinking.

so, generally speaking, if you're mooching off of others and not pulling your own weight once you reach a certain age, you're running the risk of being a "nobody". however, always trying to be in the spotlight doesn't exactly make you "somebody". it's all relative I guess. just be the very best person you can be.

[NullVoided]

I just work with being someone is leaving your own mark on the world and lives of others in the way you want to. It is just what sort and size of the mark they leave and if it is the sort they wanted to leave that changes between people.

[LCT_m_a_d]

For me I had to look at myself from a second eye. I visualized the opportunities, interactions, and habits (good and bad) in my life. I became in tuned with all of those things and focused on trying to see the direction they were moving. Once I gave up control with trying to identifying myself I was able to make consistent decisions in the moment and go with the flow. Instead of comparing myself to other people and figuring out what level Im at, I was able to compare myself to the person I am when I make better decisions.

People tend to refer to me as chill and easy to talk to, so I just embrace that and try to use it for the better of those in my life. Usually it starts with the smallest of things in life. The things so insignificant that most people don't think to offer

[DokiDokiTsuna]

So many wise replies...I have to agree with the ones that say the title of "somebody" is completely arbitrary. Even fame doesn't quite fill the definition, since there will always be somebody somewhere who's never heard of you and doesn't care. To them, you're still "nobody". And with time, that number of people who feel that way about you will only grow. It's inevitable. But I digress...

I think being a somebody or a nobody is all about your perspective, even if the general definition says otherwise. I mean, no matter how many people around you think you're somebody, if you think you're nobody then that's what you are. Just think about all the high-profile Hollywood stars who've committed suicide. In their eyes, they were still nobodies, not even worthy of being alive.

And on the other end of the spectrum, if you think highly enough of yourself, you'll always be somebody, no matter what anyone else says. In some cases, that might even make you narcissistic. ^^

I guess what I'm trying to say that being "somebody" or "nobody" is, at the end of the day, a measure of self-importance. Your perspective is the most important one in your life, after all, because it's the one you will always be stuck with.

[ble]

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[joannekwan]

Everyone's 'somebody' to someone. You're 'somebody' to your mom, your grandpa, your friend, your dog, etc.

It's like in Coco, so long as someone remembers you, you'll live on.

[jpnakashima]

Everyone's 'somebody' to someone. You're 'somebody' to your mom, your grandpa, your friend, your dog, etc.

I feel that's one thing that is sometimes easy to forget, but so true.
It's cruel, though, to be somebody to others and yet feel you are nobody to yourself. It's a violent feeling.
But yeah, I at least always try to remember this.

[lartianmartian1]

Just feeling like you exist, which can be hard enough sometimes. I'm typing this for anyone to read so that I can feel like I exist again (also because I haven't posted on here in like a week). I've been having trouble with that lately, it would seem.

But like Kylo Ren said to Rey in one of those movies about a war amongst the stars, "You're nothing... But not to me." Which is quite messed up, actually. Everyone should be somebody to themselves first and foremost (if mental illness is a factor though, professional help should definitely be involved). We can't solely rely on others to define our personhood, because they could just as easily reduce us to nothing again. Which was the whole point of that exchange, whether you ship these poor messed up souls or not.

Then again, I'm kind of going against that point by craving some attention online. But honestly, just typing these words out for myself alone is kind of enough to make me feel like I do have something to contribute. I do count, and that makes me feel like somebody, at least in the moment.

And whosoever reads this should know that you are alive. You exist. You're enough of a somebody to grow and to strive and to get the most out of this crazy thing called life. You don't need me or anyone else for that. So go forth.

[darkone4587]

Nothing, I'm a complete nobody and it's impossible for me to become a somebody.