I hope I'm more helpful than harsh ^_^ I try to see the good and areas of improvement.
@simplykit What I do like are the character and demon designs which look cool. Also your backgrounds could use some aerial perspective, I like the detail you put in, but sometimes it looks a big flat. While the art is not bad the story lacks nuance and depth imo, it's not bad but a bit cheesy? Personally it's a story I would read into a few chapters but I might drop around page 9. If I were still in high school or middle school, I might stay and read longer? Ofc there's the obvious it's not in color excuse, I personally wouldn't exclude a story in B+W if the art and story is reaaaaally pro, but a lot of people on this site and other mobile platforms might overlook the story.
@antimekiii The art is polished and nice first of all, and I like the android's design, also I think I saw this spotlighted by webtoon once, the thumb looks familiar, not sure tho.
Frankly a reason I wouldn't read this would simply because I don't find the MC girl all that appealing in her personality. Don't hate her but she's definitely not someone I"d latch onto, be curious of or care too much about. I do think android guy is interesting tho..and their dynamics are kinda funny. Overall it's a story I might sub and read this if I have time, but it wouldn't be at the top of my reading list priorities. I do think the premise is interesting though, but doesn't get to me emotionally.
@UrMom Actually I have this on my reading list, but i stopped around ch3 p5. I started it because of the unique art style, promising, clear start that establishes the MC's trouble and the story tone. Anyway, here are my issues: Too many panels crammed in at some pages, maybe this is me being used to new vertical scroll format, but yeah, give us more space to rest our eyes. I think overall there's just too much gloom and doom? Too much of the same things (not exactly the same events but similar themes) I don't mind darker stories with mental health issues (heck one of my fave stories is sweet home). Still, at a certain point, I want to see more character development and a bit of positivity sprinkled in. Maybe you have this planned, but it's happening too slowly for me to keep reading. It's just downtrodden people repeatedly, but no big cathartic moments that I can really latch on to to keep reading till the next one ( to the point where I"ve read at least). I personally like stories with more variety in tone and character personalties.
Overall I think your story and beautiful art has potential, I can see you put a lot of effort in the drawings and I think for the right person they might've stayed longer than me. My feelings are similar to person above, it's a story I would give a chance to, sub and read if I have time, but it wouldn't be at the top of my reading list priorities.
@Pandastrophic First thing I notice is while the art is pretty, I personally don't like how I can still see the construction lines, it makes me feel i'm reading a 2nd or 3rd draft not the final. This could just be personal preference, but I like clean and crisp lines, easier on the eyes. I could see this style work in a flashback scene though. Also I love how the pug is sooo derpy! The MC guys should look more consistently buff and gruff to sell the intimidating thing you're going for?
@CarolRiverArt While I like the premise (Funny and relatable, cause I was a weeb in highschool, whelp) I find the art in the first chapter to be too unrefined. Some anatomy errors and uncrisp lines. Also there's too much text in the beginning, if I weren't doing this crit, I would've stopped reading right there. On a positive note, I find the character designs to be colorful and prettyyy, and you got a good thumbnail. Overall I think you have an interesting idea with promise, but it needs to be executed with more polish.
@haitchu. While the character art is cute and has potential for appeal, it has little to no backgrounds! Also I don't get a strong sense of each characters' unique personalities and motivations right away, there's a hint but it isn't deep enough. There's no one person I care about/have a personal stake in. Feels a bit like a cliched highschool story. Try to ask yourself, what makes this story different than any other HS manga drama?
@Iris-Grimoire Oh hey! I remember you offered some helpful advice to me, I'll return the favor ^_^. I love the design of the bad guy and creatures but the designs of the MC's don't seem as memorable. The cover image has some anatomy errors which right away sends an unprofessional vibe. Also although I read fantasy stories, this type of fantasy isn't up my alley, it might appeal more to a niche geeky audience that likes to play DnD? Not sure though. Usually I prefer the ones where the MC starts off as a relatable person (they don't have to start off human/powerless) but I'm simply more of a character focused person than plot or magic system person. You might expand your appeal if you push the humor though. Your comedic timing is good.
Here's mine if anyone wants to crit, don't be shy, i'm always up for constructive crits! You can comment on anything you want, read as far into it as you like, but I'd like it to be on how original/memorable do you find my idea and characters and how professional it is? As well as how well the structure and rhythm of high pay offs and slow moments are.
Anything else is fine though, and you don't have to include all the things I"m asking for. If you have any questions about the plot or characters, let me know