Ok, so I bought some new stuff, and (apologies to Shanny8) I even went back on my word and bought another Dell. I had good reason to though!
As I said in my last post, I was looking to combine my writing laptop and drawing tablet into one tool. I found just the thing at Dell: I bought an Inspiron 7630. It's a 2-in-1, Core i7, 1TB SSD, 16GB RAM, discrete NVidia graphics, and all the good stuff. But the BEST stuff is the screen. 15.6 inches of OLED glory at a stunning 3840x2400 resolution! That's better than 4K! It's also significantly better than an iPad Pro! I am in love with this thing!
The inking of the characters in the background on screen in the image below were the first things I drew on it, and I LOVE it. In addition to the higher resolution, better colours, and bigger work area, I hadn't realized it before, but my Surface pro 8 pen, which was supposed to support pressure and angle sensing, did not. This new machine does, and it is a revelation. Push harder, make line darker! What a concept!

So, after having poor luck with my previous two Dells, why go back?
This sucker was on for $570 off, that's why. It's also the only thing I could find with specs like these. $1599 (Canadian) for a laptop like this is a bargain! $130 for a three year enhanced warranty (which includes accidental damage) and I'm all set. I can sell my Surface Pro 8 for about $1200, I can get about $600 for my old laptop, and I've got a better machine than both!
I feel like a kid on Christmas morning...