This is a long-standing pet peeve of mine, and I think it is worth sharing here:
If you are going to write about the military, women in it, or strong women in general, contact your local veteran's association/legion and SPEAK TO A F-CKING VETERAN!
I did my Master of Arts degree as a civilian student at the Royal Military College of Canada between 2008-2011, which was right in the middle of our involvement in Afghanistan. And, because a graduate degree was a requirement for promotion past Captain, most of my classes had officers who had served at least one tour of Afghanistan, and quite a number of the officers I met who were Afghanistan veterans were women. So, I've met my share of actual strong women - women who have known more peril and horror than I will ever face or know.
And it is so bloody obvious that the people writing the media claiming to represent this stuff haven't a clue about any of it.
No flag officer of any sex would ever conduct themselves in the way that Admiral Holdo does in The Last Jedi. That role was written by somebody without any understanding of leadership in combat, or, I suspect, leadership in general. An actual flag officer would have shown up in uniform (or at least changed into one at the earliest opportunity), and would have immediately communicated to everybody that there was a plan, that everybody would be briefed on their role in it shortly, and stressed that maintaining resolve was of the highest priority.
Star Trek Discovery has repeatedly demonstrated that it doesn't understand how militaries work or how wars work. It has the two ranking officers (neither of whom have any experience in engineering, much less bomb disposal) attempt to defuse an unexploded torpedo, for f-cks sake! And as far as I can tell, when it tried to implement its all female bridge crew, it dramatized the sexist complaints levied against the idea of integrating women into the sharp end from the 1990s. I've met female serving line officers - they don't spend time in the middle of a crisis discussing their feelings about it, they just get the job done like any other professional officer would.
There are a lot of other examples, but I think I've made my point. If you're going to write this stuff, do your research. Actually speak to the people who have been there - quite a lot of them will be happy to give you the benefit of their experience (I still remember a female artillery officer's eyes lighting up as she recounted being able to finally do a full barrage just like she'd read and heard about in WW1 and WW2). They are not going to be like what you see in a lot of depictions on the screen right now, and frankly, considering how much they sacrifice so that we don't have to go through what they go through, they deserve proper representation too.