Heyo! I'll review your comic, If your asking for a video I can't accommodate you but if you can give me a few days, I'll write a review and have a couple pages worth of notes to base that review off of. I'll do it for free and start taking a look at it tomorrow morning, seeing as I'm on a short hiatus for my comic anyway and I'll have some free time. Anyway, if you're alright with that, I'll go
Wow really, nah I cant just not reward you for doing such an amazing thing for me, tell you what, after the review is out, pm me your email ok, you got paypal?
Nah man, it's really alright. Just consider a quick sub if you like the review. It's no problem. Anyway I'll get back to you in a few days, I'll talk to you then.
I'd be down, I love binging 100+ episode series so I could have it all read by the end of the week and write you a whole review! Are you more of looking for art criticism or story/writing criticism or just overall everything?
Alright I just finished your whole story so far!! and can I just say your art has improved MAJORLY in however many years you've been working on it. While the art is a bit jarring in the beginning episodes it's super cool to see the progression of your style over time.
Now for the more feedback-ey stuff:
This is just a small thing, but you have a lot of little side art pieces scattered throughout the story that are often either paintings of characters or irrelevant works. While these are cool to see, it would help with flow a bit more if you strictly posted these pieces on their own comic instead of intermingled with the main comic unless they're cover art or something like that.
Another small thing to consider is the transition in storytelling since the very beginning. In the first few pages you used that super interesting choose-your-own-story method to let the reader pick what they were doing. While I agree with a comment that suggested you create separate pages for the different paths, I think this component overall really set your story apart from the common fantasy story. I understand you might not want to mix that into the story anymore but you might consider trying to bring it back or even just doing a short side story with that style of storytelling.
Onto the big thing: Diolouge
You do a really good job of using dialogue to move the story forward. However, the words themselves often feel kind of chunky to read. There is the matter of grammar, which you have drastically improved in but have a little bit more to go- you might want to work on learning when and where to use a comma. On the subject of grammar, one piece of dialogue is consistently confusing. The number 100% is spoken by the characters constantly. While saying "100%" is frequent in anime I suppose when a character loudly exclaims they're going to give it their 100% effort, people generally rarely use this phrase. When they do use it, they phrase it as such- they're giving something 100% effort, they're 100% ready to do something. It's rarely used with a negative- you don't really say anything along the lines of giving it not 100%. And if you do want to use this number, if it's just something that character really likes saying, I would recommend writing out the words "one hundred percent" instead of "100%" because the reader is expecting consistence with the text they're looking at and different symbols can appear quite jarring.
And to transition from the text looking jarring, I do want to say that I appreciate the current font you're using. The font in the beginning was artsy but uncomfortable to look at and the font right now is much easier to digest. However, make sure you're laying out your text in a way that is also comfortable for the readers eyes to follow. You have some bubbles where text is off center, there are multiple lines, or it hangs over. If I had to guess, I would assume you were individually picking the line length of every line you write and then just hitting the enter key and centering a new line under it. This strategy works, but make sure you pick line lengths that are generally similar in length. If you can't get them similar in length, try to push the longer lines to the middle. And keep every line in the bubble centered together, kind of like this:
______Blah Blah Blah_____
____Blah Blah Blah Blah____
______Blah Blah Blah____
And I know I've been referring to the bubble this whole time, but just in case you haven't picked up on this trick: you actually shouldn't have the bubble drawn until after you've got your text. Simply line out the text based on where your text says the bubble will be, and then draw in the bubble around the text. That way you won't have to size your text weirdly.
And if you want to include two different statements in one bubble, as in the character is saying two consecutive things, try not to. This again makes the speech look clunky and shoved together. Create a separate bubble for every statement a character makes, even if they're in the same panel. You can have one layered under another or connect them in order to show they're from the same character.
Lastly, be sure to think about how the reader is going to look at your bubbles. Specifically, the order. There are a few times in the story where you want the reader to read the bubble on the right before the bubble on the left, but there is no queue that they need to do so other than the fact that the character is on the right. Even if you have a character on the right, you should put their speech bubble above or farther left of the other characters if they're speaking first. Your reader can't keep track of which bubble to read first if it's based on which side of their screen they need to be looking at.
And to end on a positive note, I really like your use of the Japanese characters as sound effects, they're present without being too intrusive and the font is clean and not distracting. I also really like the backgrounds in the gutters of your panels and your use of negative space in nighttime scenes when there is super strong contrast between the dark scenes and the white stars or plants.
I think that's all I've got. Hopefully it makes sense and I wasn't too harsh. I really like your story overall so far and I've added it to my library so I'll be keeping up to speed with it 
Wow, now thats quite the review, thank you so much for you efforts here, yeah the thing with the bubbles will hopefully now be fixed now that I got a typesetter. Finding the time to redraw the first few chapters is gonna be a pain xD.
Definitely will consider your ideas, once again thank you lots and how would you like payment, paypal?
I'd be interested in doing a paid review, depending on how you want me to review it. I already took a look at the beginning episodes and I can definitely say i'm enjoying it so far, I like your artstyle a lot. Is paypal okay?
A detail review would be nice Yume, dosent have to be on Baguettes length but a little similar, and yes paypal def fine
Thank you so much for enjoying it so far xD
I'll post it here too
I’ll start with the critique and end with what you did well. For starters, I think you know this already but your beginning chapters are drawn really lightly so it makes it hard to see what’s going on, this in turn also makes it hard to hard to understand the story at times. The speech bubbles as well are not uniform but they don’t have to be unless you want to make it a bit easier on the eyes of readers who are used to circular speech bubbles with the same shape. You could leave it as a style choice, however, the text inside the bubbles is kind of an issue when it comes to reading and understanding your comic. I could tell that your earlier chapters were made a long time ago so you probably have more experience now but the grammar and spelling are important for your comic. You can understand and read the text with context clues but you want readers to be able to view your story without much strain. I’d recommend you go back and darken your drawings/lineart and correct any grammar errors in the early chapters so that you will get more people attracted to your story from the very beginning. If you don’t want to touch your drawings and text bubbles yourself then thats fine as well, you could also hire someone else to edit it for you. I work doing edits for people myself so if you’re considering it then I’m willing to help.
Now for the things that you did were great at. Your storyline is actually amazing! I genuinely enjoyed reading about the mysteries of Acroalis and all the powers and twist and turns of the story. The idea of having the reader decide and make choices is really cool original when it comes to webcomics on this site. You really have something going for you with that idea and it keeps the story fresh and interactive. After each chapter I was very interested to find out what Amali and Hermire would get into next and to know the secrets of ‘neogorus.’ Your lore and world building regarding Amali and her powers was also phenomenal. I think your story is the best thing about your comic besides the wonderful fight scenes. Your characters are very well written and I loved seeing the relationship between Hermire and Amali. Amali’s way of using ‘me’ to call herself was very charming. Also as others said, I can see a HUGE improvement in art from the earlier episodes to the later ones. Your lines became more deliberate and you used contrast to your advantage. Your characters are clearer and the way you work with lighting and perspective/angles is definitely a strong point. Great job! I can also tell the speech bubbles and grammar/spelling became a lot better towards the later episodes. Overall, it is a touching story with realistic character relations and funny characters. It has its own twist of originality and captivating artstyle that is refreshing and unique to see. Your comic has a lot of potential, keep up the good work.
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