7 / 7
Feb 2024

Hi! I’ve seen some other people do this here, and I would Love it if people would critique my art so I can improve! I just feel like I havent been improving much recently. (The sketchy lineart is a desicion I made, I don’t want people telling me to use cleaner lineart, because I can use clean lineart, I just choose not too)

Here is the link to my comic, you don’t have to sub if you don’t want to, I just want Feedback

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    Feb '24
  • last reply

    Feb '24
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The artwork isn’t too bad, it’s clean as well. I also like that you haven’t opened the narrative with the standard exposition dump that so many comics here these days tend to - I’ve always felt that one shouldn’t open a series with a big exposition dump, but that parts of a setting should be introduced via context. Let’s look at the typical fairy story opening: “Once upon a time there was such-and-such.” While it doesn’t tell us much about the setting, it still comes across as forced. It is an overdone opening line. Now, compare this with the openings of Northern Lights by Philip Pullman, J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, Kenneth Grahame’s The Wind in the Willows L. Frank Baum’s Wonderful Wizard of Oz, George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, Homer’s Iliad and so on. We are told nothing about these settings in the first two pages but we learn more and more about them as the stories go on. You have done this well, the monologue concerning the god was really well done in setting up the worldbuilding without putting it at the very beginning.
However, the panel structure can be difficult to follow at points at first. The panels are also tightly packed together, not giving the story enough space to breathe. I also don’t think that the caption for “The next day” needs to be particularly large. I also think the caption could be worked into one of the panels.

The good:
-love the color schemes.
-love the char designs. Definite creative points.
-liking the plot so far.

the bad
-figures seem off and awkward in some places. Sometimes unsure if thats intentional. Especially hands. Yes I know hands are difficult to draw and even if I filled an entire sketchbook with nothing but hand poses I still screw them up sometimes.

-camera angles need more variety.

Thank you so much! I definitely struggle with putting variety in the angels and that kind of thing, and I completely understand where you’re coming from with the stiff poses, can I have some advice on how to make them more dynamic?

Put the "camera" closer or farther. Sometimes the same scene can be shown in 2 panels using different camera angles

For example:

As for dynamic poses, the only way to get better at it is more practice. Even if it means tracing over pictures of athletes while they're playing sports. Or even screen grabs of fighting anime.

Then there's paying attention to details like body language and facial expressions.