Character Motives: Overcoming shyness (development help)

[TheThoughtfulBoxful]

Doing a little idea farming for my comic…What are some ways for a shy person to become braver or less shy?

Character: A sweet, shy child with boisterous friends; desires to become “brave” like them.

Any suggestions would be appreciated!!

[Amberday]

the friends need help and he/she is the only one who can save them; needs to get out of comfort zone; has faced great challenges in life that has made the character emotionally and mentally stronger... anime rule 101

[zetina]

i would ask why that person is shy in the first place and go from there. some people are just shy because they were born with a more cautious temperament so they need time to get used to something/someone new. someone like that probably isn't what you mean though. the kind of shy you speak of is probably someone who is unsure of themselves. but where is their insecurity coming from? if it's because they have a toxic person in their life, then maybe they finally cut them out after finding healthier influences and become a more confident, braver person from then on. maybe it's trauma/fear over specific circumstances and they need to sort out that baggage. if you know the character, you'll probably figure out what they need to change. or so i think...

[KateGrove]

If she does something small, but "brave" everyday, something out of her comfort-zone, no matter how small that thing may be, it'll help build up her confidence. And I think she needs to find herself in a situation where she is the only one who could help. That will empower her and give her confidence.
Good luck with your story!

[dawgofdawgness]

Usually when you're super shy at the beginning it means that you really want to say something (that's funny, contributing to the conversation, a question, etc) but you don't want to because you're either afriad that nobody will answer or the other people will think you're weird.

So usually after spending a long time with a group of people, that shy person might start to speak more and more slowly. Usually they don't suddenly start being really talkative and expressive.
At least that's in my experience, but all shy people are different!

[lunaartemisasama]

Shy people use to open up and speak more when the feel safe or comfortable with a person. So the more the shy character talks to the other it means the more they trust each other, kind of... (from experience).
A good example with that characteristics would be Sam from Rocket Power.
So yeah they will be less shy in a place they feel comfortable or braver if they have...
Being brave is just trying to talk to you or saying hi or at least trying to say hi waving their hand...

[natchevil]

When I was a kid, my therapist told me a story about a child building a wall around him.
The walls became thicker and grew into a castle, with many traps to keep outsiders out.
Soon, a girl poked into the castle, exploring and learning the traps.
And the girl eventually found the kid in the middle of the castle made of walls.
And slowly, the girl led the kid out of his castle.

So... That.

[TheThoughtfulBoxful]

When I was a kid, my therapist told me a story about a child building a wall around him.The walls became thicker and grew into a castle, with many traps to keep outsiders out.Soon, a girl poked into the castle, exploring and learning the traps.And the girl eventually found the kid in the middle of the castle made of walls.And slowly, the girl led the kid out of his castle.

So... That.

@natchevil This... is a really neat story. Wow.

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@zetina Well, I'm thinking that the character in question's shyness is a natural thing she needs to overcome (like you suggested), so yeah, I've got that much figured out.

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Thanks for your input so far, everyone! You've all been super helpful.

[melindemari]

Speaking now from a shy-ish person myself, when I get out of my shell I either talk someone's ears off with any and everything, but have people tell me either I'm really-really weird/childish but then there has been a few, my 'friends' that were able to make cause they think my shy openness when I overcome it around them, the weird antics, talkative, childlike why I act (23 Years old now...) is awesome!

For example, at a party everyone dancing it'll take me at least 2 hours to get comfortable around any 'new' people and even around my friends before I join in on the 'dancing' that is a maybe... but when I do it's comedic relieve to them and I admit even to myself!

But then again when I'm around my brother who I'm not shy with at all, with no one else around I still act the same as when I do when I do start opening up to others, so I guess I am just weird and crazy XD

But what I guess I mean is, that there is no write or wrong why, the keys are:
1. Give Time
2. Give Comfort
3. Give Support
4. It will be a new process each time for new people... (Often, not always... Depending on how similar traits they have, some people connect easier with each other than others!)

And courage will follow!

[SleepingPoppy]

Lots of good answers already. I just want to add that a shy person can be brave! A brave person can feel shy! People are complicated. ;D

[joe_galindez]

I they can accomplish something, then they'll have something to feel confident about.

They could also get a big head, but them's the risks.

[TheThoughtfulBoxful]

@melindemari @SleepingPoppy @joe_galindez Thank you, thank you, and thank you! This thread has been an excellent resource for me, and I hope it will be for others too!

[Mr_B]

For shy people that are afraid to speak their mind for fear of being percieved as strange, or not fitting into the group, I feel that the environment is very important. If the character finds themselves in an open minded, nurturing circle of people, where they learn through interactions that voicing an opinion will not be met with ridicule or mocking, they will feel able to open up and overcome their shyness, little by little. And, with time, the knowledge that they have people in their lives that love them for them will make it easier to speak out even with strangers, because they'll always have the support of their inner circle to fall back on.

The way you could integrate this into a story is have the shy character observe the behaviour of people around them and realize that they can be trusted. For example, let's say that the character finds themselves in a group of people that are badmouthing someone who is not with them, and another character doesn't join in on it. The first character could then gain a bit of respect, admiration, and trust for the other character, because they refused to stoop to the level of the people around them. "If I was their friend, they probably wouldn't talk bad about me behind my back either" goes the reasoning. Just off the top of my head.

In any event, I hope all the ideas in this thread proove helpful, and good luck with your story!

[NickRowler]

Shy people deal with a lot of social anxiety. Sometimes they feel like an outcast (or they are an outcast) and they are worried about how others will judge them.

One way someone could become less shy is if they do self reflection, thinking over why they are shy and building up internal confidence. Tho, most younger kids would no do this.

A common way kids build up confidence is by having supportive people around them. A shy kid might have a extroverted friend or someone to be a sort of cheerleader. Kids will also use other people or characters in media as someone they thrive to be and that might help them be more confident. Like a superhero.

There are some cases where someone might get burst of confidence after being loaded with a lot of negative pressure. More or less, they snap.

[eworks01]

From the description I'm thinking of a fairly young child, But I think this could apply to pre teens. Child may have problems being expressive in loud over stimulating places. It could be an on going slow process of one step forward two steps back. The "shy" child's friendships depend when able to spend time one-on-one with their friends, instead of in groups. The less boisterous setting makes it easier to express thoughts and respond faster in play time. "Ah, I've finally gotten over it!" but at day care/park/large play group once more struggles to keep up and feels stressed out.
After becoming use to and having stronger friendships with a group of 2-3 the child once more has built confidence and is able to keep up, or even lead group activities. Once more "I got this, why did I ever struggle?"
Either a new kid is introduced to the group, the shy child has to adapt to a new setting, or one of their closest friends is no longer around to help soften the struggles with group time. Possibly any combination of the 3. Panic, stress, and confusion takes over once more. Again, what was strange becomes familiar. Again adapting the child has new skills and confidence to express inner self.

From my personal experience, being "brave" was never really an issue. Feeling stupid or unwanted in a setting or with a group of people was. My anxiety was usually connected with not knowing what to do, but once I could focus on something and then expand into other areas I was fine. I also had a speech impediment that was a struggle at least to age 9. I avoided saying some words because I knew I'd get made fun of for saying them wrong. Having other kids around that didn't make fun of me helped me to feel more relaxed. For other children I know they had a lot of fears, so tackling those fears in order to be brave was an issue. Some kids I knew had a hard time being a away from their moms for very long. Others didn't like play group games like tag because they were scared of falling and getting hurt.

How to help the character become less shy really depends on why they are shy and how old they are. Some kids with ADHD or dyslexia have sensory overload problems. So they can be perfectly social at home and aren't actually shy, but in situations where it's loud with lots of distractions it's hard to think and they appear shy. Really, they are just trying to take everything in, but can't process fast enough to respond. Other kids are just strong introverts, they are fine they just don't want to be bothered. But people who don't know them assume the child is shy or has something wrong with them.

[Rhombik]

You might be interested in the TV series "Child of Our Time" with Robert Winston. It's a longitudinal study of children over 20 years that looks at the major personality types: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism.

It might be handy because you can look at how the shy kids develop. I watched it a few years ago so it's a bit blurry but I remember they had a few shy kids in different situations.

[TheThoughtfulBoxful]

@eworks01 Wow, that was very informative. Thank you!

@GombikComics I'll see if I can find it. Thanks!