You live to see everyone you ever knew die. You eventually are buried in a landslide where you are trapped in a claustrophobic nightmare grave; starving, suffocating, and unable to move or scratch that itch behind your ear for billions of years until the sun explodes. You are forced to endure unimaginable heat, suffering a pain the human mind is not meant to endure. You then float across a cold and empty universe alone for all eternity.
I wish I was the king of the world!
Finding out a better way to understand subatomic physics eventually kills you in the process.
I wish for a better sense of humor.
Your better sense of humour makes people laugh so much several die from lack of oxygen and you're now on trail for manslaughter.
I wish I wasn't so sleepy all the time.
Your newfound sense of humor is so profound and cutting edge no one gets it and you die a misunderstood genius.
I wish to back in time and become a cocaine drug lord in miami circa 1981.
Your cocaine dealing makes your cocaine habit turn into a cocaine addiction, but you can't seek help since that would involve turning yourself in
I wish I could bring Shakespeare back to life!
Shakespeare has been revived by the means of black magic. Unfortunately he's a zombie and other zombies have been revived, so now there's a apocolyps in action. Also you got bit.
I wish my cat could fly.
After winning the lottery/finding a secret oil well, tou become a multi-billionaire. However, random people from everywhere start to try to get at your money.
I wish Halloween was here already.
It's 23:26 here. You have less than an hour left of Halloween, and after midnight, you'll be showered and wallpapered with way-too-early Christmas adverts and TV specials.
You are now the proud owner of a refurbished Blackberry phone. Don't you look like a business-guy!
I wish for a teleportation device.
you teleport out into space and wander the void of the cosmos, eventually freezing over and dying.
I wish for an elephant.
You become famous, but then realize it isn't all it is cut out to be and end up depressed, not sure who your real friends are anymore, and you have been divorced five times.
I wish that animals could talk.
They just say the MOST racist, hateful things you can imagine, and now everyone's in an emotional turmoil over whether the Animal Protection & Conservation agencies and organizations (and their ideals) have any reason to be now that they're to the service of bigots.
I wish nothing bad happened to me and my dear ones, ever.
Having not experienced true loss for far too long, you grow insulated and content, cut off from the harsher whims of fate, and indeed, the rest of human experience. You--and everyone you've ever cared about--remain exactly as you are now, snapshots frozen in time. There is no more pain. You never grow as people, never learn anything new. Incidentally, assuming death constitutes "bad," you'll all live through eternity, slowly going insane over eons of loneliness and eventually experience the inevitable heat death of the universe.
I wish I was independently wealthy and could afford to draw my comics all day.
Ohhhh this game 
@fishy You never want to sleep again and end up dying of sleep deprivation 
@andychrist You inherit this independent wealth from all your loved ones who listed you in their will simultaneously dying due to mysterious causes
I wish that I will see all outcomes of this wish as positive things 
EDIT: @Silverberry You just said
"All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive."
6 times
And the fact that it's true isn't really paradoxical btw what does it mean for something to be "positive to" something? 
DOUBLE EDIT: I think I get it 
All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive.All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive.
This keeps on going to the end of eternity. Congratulations you made a paradox!
I wish for an awesome talking friendly sentient spaceship to go on adventures with!
