406 / 488
Oct 2016

It's fall already and lots of mammals die because they have no time to hibernate...

I wish someone would never grant this wish...

Granted, but since the wish was granted for the wish to not be granted, a paradox is created puncturing a hole in space-time and allowing the Great Ones to filter down and conquer the Material Realm.

I wish the Great Ones would grant me favor for opening up the portal. Ia! Cthulhu Ftahgn!

1 month later

Wish granted!
Except Great Old Ones become sohorrified of our world after they see it , that they shut the portal and are never seen again.

I wish for the weather to stop being such a shit.

Granted! The weather stops being "a shit" and becomes gallons of shit falling from the sky endlessly.

I wish for an umbrella.

wish granted
but under the umbrella is Rhianna sparring with Chris Brown

i wish for donald trumps daughter

You get an A on your exam. But your parents are strict Asian parents and beat you for not getting and A++...

Also your dad uses his fists this time, and not his belt...

I wish that this wish was corrupted by a wish corrupter...

@lukas3 Granted! But the wish-corrupter takes offence to your cunning and decides to interpret your wish as a 'free-for all'. You can now only eat food after you answer twenty riddles, if you fail even one you will go hungry for twenty hours.

I wish I could make every racist person in the world suddenly learn all the knowledge they need to know about every race. Or just give me a big house or whatever.....

When they gain that knowledge, they become even more racist.

I wish for a cream cheese bagel...

Granted, but it's onions and chives flavored cream cheese and a rye bagel
(Maybe you like that but I don't, uh!)

I wish my iPad wouldn't run out of batteries

Granted, your iPad now runs on yodeling power, you must constantly yodel non-stop to use your iPad

I wish I had photographic memory.

Every now and then, you vomit out photos of your most embarassing memories

I wish I was dead

Granted you're a dead battery in an old phone. You take forever to charge, and your owner is seriously considering an upgrade.

I wish I didn't have so much paperwork to deal with...

@Strontium Oh gosh, I'm the weirdo that likes onion and chive. XD

Granted, now every bit of fibre on earth suddenly explodes into nothing. :'D (It was nice knowing you, trees.)

I wish I could make whatever food I crave magically appear.

Granted, but the food you conjure tastes horrible. It only superficially looks good.

I wish my car didn't run out of gasoline.

@JessJackdaw weirdo

Granted!

Your car walks out of gasoline...

I wish for a free Lambo...

Granted! Lambo appears! "Lambo (ランボ, Ranbō) is a 5-year-old hitman who originally came to Japan with the intent of killing Reborn. He is a spoiled and cowardly child who takes candy from everyone; it has been said that he never brushes his teeth." http://reborn.wikia.com/wiki/Lambo

I wish that the next person to grant a wish has uncontrollable diarrhoea!

Granted!
walks away to the bathroom

I wish for the person who wished for the wish I just corrupted to get gas problems (uncontrollable farts)...

Granted!

Spends 7 days collecting farts into one jar

I wish for the wish granter above me to be forced to live in my fart jar for a thousand years.