I humbily request a critique oTL be honest please
(I only have 1 chapter so far..)
Yeah, that would be nice--my chapters are split into small segments, you can decide how much you want to read
Something I didn't put on the comment in your book--mostly because I don't want to leave comments that are criticism where other readers can see it (I left you a comment there though, so you'll get that comment bump), is that it was written really well--it was just really heavy for a first chapter in contrast with the blurb of your book in the first episode which made it seem like a cerebral magic high school teen fantasy. So, as a casual reader taking a peek, I wouldn't have continued because of that whiplash, I went into chapter 1 expecting something much lighter.
Overall though, I think it'll definitely hook the people that are looking for a darker story like that. It has a lot of emotion, it ends on a cliffhanger, it's really readable with good spelling and grammar--all really good things.
And feel free to put your comments about my first chapters here in the thread as a reply to this comment. I don't need a critique inside the book itself.
i'd very much enjoy if you could review the first chapter of my comic!!
i'd prefer a review in thread, if possible 
@lunagraves714 @momoikhile @Ranty-cat Starting on it! Please don't forget to check out A Wish For Death chapter on Darkly Ever After! Thank you!
Hello! Here's your critique:
That was a total hit! The concept packed punch and it was entertaining. I liked your take of the 'Helen' show and her candid interviewing style. You did a wonderful job with your art and the engaging dialogues! I genuinely enjoyed the whole episode 
@lunagraves714 @momoikhile @Ranty-cat done with your critiques
@denny_b_reese @HopefulAttempt starting on yours!
Thanks for the feedback. I just realised that I should be giving more cliffhangers at the end of each chapter. First two episodes seem like modifying will cause me a lot of trouble, but from 3rd chapter I am adding cliffhangers. Thanks again. That was helpful.
I looked at your first chapter, and I have to admit the short summary at the beginning very easily got my attention. Granted, I'm always a slut for both ghosts and lesbians, so naturally this has peaked my interest quite a bit. You weaved in a few details that I think really set everything apart from what actual normal school life is like, so I'll be sure to take a close look at your work.
For mine I'll accept feedback either on here or in the comments - whichever you prefer. Mine is a series of short stories with the summaries of each as the first chapter, so you can either base your feedback on that, or on one of the stories themselves.
Thank you so much for this opportunity!
Probably WAY late cause you look like you have a backlog, but if you ever get to it heres my comic,
recently dropped a short gag episode today too in case you want a laugh after chapter 1 read. Would be glad to hear your thoughts
I'd be happy if you critiqued my first chapter! (It spans from chapter 1.1 to 1.6). Let me know what you appreciated about it, what you think of the characters and the overall vibe and impressions the story gives you. Also, feel free to give me any suggestions you have!
Thanks in advance! 
If you're able to, I'd love to hear your thoughts on mine! Please do so in a comment on it. I'll be sure to read yours too!
Hello! Here's your critique:
The first chapter was nice, liked the bits of pieces you added for Keenan's past without making it an info dump! The chapter really picked up its pace in the second half. The robbery scene was great and it ended on a hook and a promise--that the hero is now going to embark on a new journey.
Given that the second half was so good, maybe start the chapter from there on? You can start with a high stake robbery and weave Keenan's past into the story. (And put off Lester for the next one.) This invests readers into your story right away. Otherwise, if they are not hooked onto it from the get-go, they might not make it to the end of the chapter (the good part).
All in all, I liked the chapter! It was easy to read and grammar was impeccable.
Hi! Here's your critique:
That was an intense and amazing start. The story had a strong opening and ended on a great hook. Your writing style and vivid descriptions were perfect for the genre. Genuinely enjoyed reading every word of it!
Just a tip: some of the dialogue tags had some grammar issues, but nothing that a reader would jarringly notice. You can edit it in your free time!
Great work!
@Lemon_Demon @noenoh @CytricAcid Hi guys! I'll start the critiques with those who have read Darkly Ever After first Please ping on the forum if you're done reading, and I'll surely start on yours!
@AnimeKitty @rajillustration Thanks for your amazing reviews and feedback. Really appreciated. I'm starting on your critiques now!
@rajillustration Thank you for leaving the feedback! You totally caught my own hesitations about posting such a heavy first chapter. While I don't want to justify posting it, it would have ended up as a backstory or the prologue (which can be off putting for readers.) The real story should pick up from episode 3. I would love to hear any advice you have on fixing it! Thanks!
Hi Rachel! I read the all the prologue parts of ABOTN. It's absolutely hilarious! Loved all the classy build up to his thesis and indeed what a thesis it was! Your writing is fast and pacy and each chapter was like a sweet fun delight.
Although Harriet is only introduced in the 1st chapter, I think you did a wonderful job in setting tone for the story. And using the same opening lines for Abbot and Harriet was a great little touch! There's nothing much to critique. Best of luck with your story!
Hello there! Thank you for this thread. I just read the first chapter and the short introduction or prologue you added into your story Darkly Ever After, and all I have to say is... wow. Your first chapter was heavy and deep, in a good way though. The way you set the tone for your story was amazing, in my opinion. Honestly speaking, I was really hooked in already! Your setting was also very descriptive, and that's quite nice. I think it's a story that would hook in a lot of readers very soon. I was really intrigued, so I left likes for you! Anyway, here's my novel! I'd appreciate any critique you can give me. It would be very helpful. Thank you! 
Agshdjejdieksk thank you (I knew I was forgetting something) finally is weekend and can read it!
Edit: I got hooked immediately to the story with the introduction at first because Tamara and later becasue you could describe these situations with a raw feeling (I felt like I was witnessing that scene) and got focussed on Tamara's mom cause I met similar people like them and I couldnt but feel so frustrated as Tamara in that momment. I want to know more now! Subscribed!
honestly it's a good chapter, and I don't know enough about the story to say if it needs to have a chapter before introducing and leading up to that (because I'm assuming that this chapter is super plot important, so it probably needs to be there) It was just that there was no mention of surviving abuse in the blurb/prologue episode so it caught me off guard? Maybe having a little tiny hint in the blurb so people know what to expect?
I'm not sure what I would do, honestly, since I have only seen the two episodes.