I've been using Discord for some time now, but I'm not really in many servers because, true, it is pretty overwhelming for a lot of reasons and I admit being a little bit more shy, but also quite busy. I only get on my PC during weekends because I'm usually working the whole week and recently decided on a make-over to go out more.
I pretty much agree on this one, I usually mute the bigger servers due to that. Although, I like to get news from announcement channels every so often, to see what's up ^^"
When it comes to being active, I've only chatted with people on 3 servers and on the very first I've ever joined, I'm pretty much a regular because I've known the other 7-10 active users a little longer and we play on our Minecraft server a lot, but that's all to it. In the end, you decide for yourself what you're more comfortable with.