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Crowntentacles
Aug '23

Hii there guys, so I started writing this comedy series, and I'm really don't understand why it's not get screen time...
This is a story about Jess-a lonely alien on Earth. She moves into a nice apartment, where she meets Mister E- a cat that is determined to kick her out of the apartment claiming it belongs to him.

This is a panel from the new chapter I'm about to upload...
It's Jazz prepares for the job interview, please let me know what you think

It's called Alien and cat

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    Aug '23

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    Aug '23
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darthmongoose
Aug '23

I feel like there's some sort of a missing ingredient here. Like there's the base elements of a good joke, but it's not quite landing.

I think the issue is that most of these behaviours are too outlandish and weird to be funny by being relatable... but they're not outlandish and weird enough to be funny by hinting at weird implications of what life is like on the character's planet, or how the character has misunderstood human culture and might have done in previous interviews. Crying about a red balloon sounds more awkward and uncomfortable than fun, wacky hijinks. The goldfish one is potentially funny, but doesn't quite hit a strong joke because how many interviews had fish at them? Goldfish specifically? Wouldn't a boss of a company with a fish tank have more exotic fish? Why would the alien think a sealed fishtank in an office was meant to be for them to eat? I'm struggling to imagine the scenario.

If I was going to write this joke, I'd draw on my experience as an autistic person enduring job interviews (absolute hell and feels like being an alien) and then I'd push it further. Like go really weird and think about how an alien might misunderstand the contradictions of human or office behaviour like:

  • If there is a dog in the office, you may speak to it as though it is a human and ask questions like, "What's your name, little friend?" and "Who is a good doggy then?", in spite of it being incapable of response. Do not, however, do the same if the office contains any of the following creatures; fly, wasp, bee, mosquito, any species of spider, mouse, rat, any species of fish, dust mites, woodlice, rhinoceroses.
  • There isn't really an elephant in the room. It's a metaphor that business people are curiously attached to. Do not look for the elephant. Do not ask to see the elephant.
  • You cannot challenge "the boss" in single combat to take control. It seems the notes that suggested this is a viable tactic may be slightly out of date. Recommend updating.
  • The spinning chairs are not for spinning on. Spinning is a sign of dominance. Remember: Low-ranking humans only spin on chairs in private so as not to inadvertently challenge their leaders.

Stuff like that. Like really push it. Think of situations that would realistically have come up in job interviews, and how an alien would misunderstand them. Make the audience imagine what sort of wacky stuff must have happened in the previous interviews. When I was an exchange student in Japan, I was bored in a station, and reading the list of "things you're not allowed to take on the train" At the bottom of the list was "dead bodies". It was strangely funny because of the implication; if they needed to put that on the list, people must have presumably tried to take a dead person on a train and said "but there's nothing saying I can't" at least once.

ThunderChicken
Aug '23

To add to Dathmongoose's very good advice I'll add this:

Don't be dismayed because you're not getting "screen time" (I'll assume this means views/subs/likes). You could have the best drawn, funniest, cleverest comic strip out there and still have zero views, and the reason for this is simple: If people don't know about it they can't read it. You need to put it out there. Advertise it on social media. Tell your friends & family. Tell them to tell their friends & families. Post it in "promotions" (but don't expect much out of this, because your post will soon be buried under dozens of posts just like yours). Simply publishing your work on a site like Tapas and then expecting it to stand out in a sea of tens of thousands of comics is not realistic. It's something I think we've all been guilty of when we first started, but expecting it to happen is like buying a lottery ticket and actually expecting (rather than just hoping) that you'll win the jackpot. It's just not realistic.

NickRowler
Aug '23

I think from these panels alone, it’s a set up with no punchline.

I think this scene would be funnier if this list is shown visually as a montage. Her crying at a balloon could be funny if you also show her doing it.

liamnaughton7
Aug '23

While you could add visual representations of the list one thing you could do is give it a bit of rhythm.

If the list is all funny options then there's nothing to hang onto. You could:

A) have a bunch of normal items and one strange one. Then maybe follow that with a really mundane tip.

B) They're all strange except for one at the end which is mundane.