Earlier last week I had a strange episode with characteristics familiar to depression. Even with thoughts of death that were so unlike me, I just felt like ceasing to exist and it was horrible. It’s passed, but the thought still frightens me and I’m afraid it’s more than just a one off episode. Additionally my mother told me I have severe-ish ocd (she’s a professional psychologist so she knows that she’s talking about) and I realized that yeah, maybe I do. It made me reevaluate myself and my actions. But all in all, last week was a sad drag
A couple days ago I got a message from my mom on facebook through her friend's account telling me that she misses me and that she's going through therapy. I left because she put me through a mentally abusive situation when I lived with her by letting her horrible boyfriend back into our lives who has also been to jail many times. He would yell at me and accuse her of cheating along with many other things. I felt very suicidal and finally decided to move in with my father and get far away from the situation. When I read her message I broke down crying having all the bad memories come flooding back.
My boyfriend and I also found out that I may have anemia because I have all the symptoms so I haven't been feeling too great. Then on St. Patrick's day my dad came home drunk and ended up tripping on the side of the coffee table and broke two of his ribs which of course scared the hell out of me. He's doing better now and isn't groaning in pain nearly as much and I've been taking care of him. This incident though makes me worry about his safety when I eventually move out on my own. So yeah, this week has been rather stressful.
Dawg, I am glad you reached for professional help. It's a great first step to what's it's such a sucky situation.
I hope you get better. Wholeheartedly. We here know you have the strength to beat this. And as said, I'm here almost all the time if you need something. Anything. Okay?
Good vibes go your way!!
@Nebulous Strength, friend. I hope you this week is going better for you.
@SpavVy I'm sorry to hear this. You said nothing, so I assume your mom it's still with this abusive man. If that's the case, it sucks so much. I hope things get better and that, with therapy, things take a turn for the better. Those are always complex situations, but no one deserves a toxic relationship.
Also, please look into the anemia suspicion. Go to a doctor. It's not cool feeling physically bad. I'm sending positive energy!!
I was diagnosed with bipolar at age 14, I was a rare case where medicine immediately worked though that doesn't mean I still struggle with mild symptoms and manage them(and I can relapse at any time). I had dyslexia too which was never treated so I had to force myself to teach myself to read and developed anxiety problems recently which i've been keeping control without medication. I even push myself to remember how severe my bipolar was and the fear I had when being at hospital all those years ago, even if it triggers dissociation, its the only way I can get over the anxiety. So far it has worked, i've met friends in psych wards and never had a relapse of fear like I did in the past. I would never let some dumb thing like anxiety prevent me for being there for my friends.
So what I guess this is my advice: Never give up, never believe theres no hope. Never use people or blame others or blame your mental illness for everything wrong in the world, its your own struggle you have to deal with in the end. Things change and you can get better with your own willpower and determination. If I can recover, i'm sure anyone else can.
@SpavVy Sorry about that. I hope things gets better and I hope someday you will at least be on normal terms with your mother, not because of her but because of you. Sometimes having a resentment against someone works against us. But I am no therapist, so I suppose every person is a unique world.
As a person that almost had anemia
WARNING if you are vegan don't read this part
The best you cand do is eat red meat, or if you live in a country where is not uncommon to eat the inner parts of a cow then eat that, is the best (from time to time I like to eat morcilla,
that is blood sausage).
In case you are vegan
If you are vegan you need to take suplements of B12 and eat things lentils, bean or other legumes that contain iron. Try it to eat it with lemonade or something with vitamin C because it helps iron absortion.
Probably your doctor already said this but sometimes they forget that's why I am writing this, I hope is nothing more serious.
Also if you are feeling tired sometimes eating raw fruits and vegetables gave you that extra and healthy energy you need (apart from coffee lol).
@dawgofdawgness Our surroundings may change, what it is important is to always be truth to ourselves.
One teacher once told us that to love others in a good way first we should learn to love ourselves. I hope it doesn't sound too harsh O_O, I know is not as easy as it sounds. The path will be long and therapy helps. Have faith in you own abilities, wether it is to gain friend or whatever and if you don't have it fake it until you make it. Life will not always go as we want but we just need to endure it and try to take out the best of every episode in our lives, because we just lose when we stop trying. And crying is ok.
I'm sorry you're feeling that way :C
Thoughts of death will come now and then, but if it's really bothering you, you might consider seeing a psychiatrist or therapist. Also when you get this, definitely reach out to other people and tell them what you're feeling. Whether it be a friend, adult, family member, etc. It feels WAYYYY better when you know that you're not going through stuff alone.
Funny you mention the vegan thing because that is what caused it. About a month ago my father decided he isn't going to buy anymore meat. My dad is I geuss you can say a bit of a health nut >_> he did his research and everything but I personally was never satisfied with it so whenever my boyfriend and I go out to eat or I have dinner at his place red meat is the first thing I go for and I always feel so much better after I eat it. I never get the chance to do my own grocery shopping because dad does that before he gets home from work.
"is it normal to cycle through emotions at hyper speed? sad -> angry -> weirdly happy -> normal
It's frustrating because I'll type out an entire essay on what i'm feeling and then delete it because I'm back to normal and that would be really pointless. bleh"
At your age yes Yes YES. I hate to break it to you but you're gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions for a few more years. For the vast majority this is a staple part of puberty.
holy shit my value on life has risen from reading this thread. hope you guys are making it through.
Ive got alot going on, grades are in the gutter, im failing classes left and right and on top of that i still have to get my hours in to graduate which i havent done. i know this is all my fault and im the only one to blame for this. but ....on the bright side ive got a couple months left to retake the class ive failed, get my grades up. and ive already gotten accepted to a couple schools.
on the not so bright side ive been speaking to my mother about being scared to go to college because i dont have any scholarships (ive applied and applied i never get a reply back) dept and anxiety. she understands and assures me everything will be ok. but im just not buying it. there are certain things i do in my own home to relieve stress that i just wont be able to do in a dorm. my dogs really help relieve my stress and when im at college who am i supposed to snuggle and praise when im feeling down? or when i need solitude to ease my troubles it will hardly be given to me because ill be roomed with someone i dont even know! or the worst and scariest of all, just not being able to really make a connection with anyone
and lastly i think one of my bbys is going deaf. hes been more aggressive than ever. whenever i call for him he does not come and it takes alot of effort for him to hear a sound. hes been having tummy problems but i feel i can fix that by giving him a better diet. ive told my mom to just let me feed him but shes not having it she feeds him tons of garbage that makes zero sense for a dog to be eating.
Being vegan is not as easy as it seems, people need to follow an strict diet and take suplements.The internet helps but I think is always good to go and see an specialist (nutricionist or similar).
Well, good luck I suppose. I hope your dad can understand that you are not into that,as far as I know eating meat at least twice a week helps. (But I am not expert in that field)
Regards!
On school, I find it really helpful to try and figure out why you're struggling. It sounds like you've been feeling pretty overwhelmed and anxious. Focusing on self blame tends to make things harder, especially when you have anxiety. Take time to figure out why you're failing (as in "I need to make structured time to complete my homework" or "I need to work on getting more sleep", instead of as in "because I'm stupid and I suck") can really help.
College debt is horrible, and I can't really speak to that, but I went through college with... pretty severe anxiety, and it was pretty bad at times, but I'm still glad I did it and had some amazing experiences. Tips
-You don't need to be friends with your roommate. Three years, I lived with friends, but first year I lived with a stranger with a totally different personality. She turned out to be a pretty cool person with her own struggles. We didn't talk, but we quietly respected each other's space.
-Use campus mental health programs. Free counseling is super important, and it gives you somebody on your side if you need accommodations for your anxiety. Talk to teachers at the start of the semester if you're having a rough time, and keep them updated. Plenty of teachers are understanding and give extensions.
-Find quiet spaces. If you need a good cry, or just some quiet, it's good to have a place you know you can go. Me and my friends had a hallway we jokingly called "the crying hallway", because it's where everyone went when they needed space.
-Visit the local animal shelter. Small animals need socialization, you need to hug a dog occasionally. It's a great combo. I visited cats in college and it was super nice.
-Try and eat well. Eat some green things and protein things, and your brain and body will be more resilient.
On dogs, I wouldn't worry too much about a pup going deaf. (Though I would worry more about your mom giving him human food) As somebody with a deaf... dog in law(? fiance's family dog), and somebody who researched it a bit while adopting, dogs adjust to deafness much better than most animals. The main thing to work on is not scaring him! There's lots of great articles on line about training deaf dogs, but if he's getting snappy, he's probably just getting surprised and jumpy. There are certain ways to warn deaf dogs that you're coming that should make his world a lot less scary if you teach them to the other people in the house.
I always feel awful because I have really bad anxiety, which causes me to isolate myself from other people my age, and I literally can't even talk to any of them. my parents have completely different opinions so I can't even see a doctor to find out what's wrong with me. I have no irl friends anymore so I really don't have anyone my age to trust. it just makes me so depressed and I need help
(edit) I also feel like I might be a total asshole and people might think that too but I really don't know
Ghostie, you’re a hilarious and quirky person (ghost), im sorry anxiety’s keeping you from reaching out to other people
Do you have a teacher you can trust (I think I remember you naming one of them, didja get in contact with them?) That might help a little bit with the parent issue. Sorry you’re stuck in a pickle. The school nurse can also be really great.
Hi ghostieblu, i know interacting with people in person can feel awkward sometimes (specially if you don`t know the person). What helped me was reading some self-help books like "how to talk to anyone" from Leil Lowndes, And "the power of now".
Also, in the recent years i met lots of people going to Kenjutsu classes. You could go to a class of something of your interest and in the proccess meet people with the same interests.
Hope this helps!
hey thanks for taking the time out of your day to reply.
ive multiple reasons why but i know only one can be fixed. the others kinda wherent up to me.
(if you want to know why basically ive got a class where i feel its kind of messy, i cant describe it. the teacher helps you with assignments but she doesnt.. teach. and the other part is me just waiting to the last minute to do her work because i hate doing it.
and the roomate thing... seniors from last year came back to my school to give a discussion on what college is like for them anddd most of them hate it. its either because of terrible roomates, or realizing the professors threw work at them and did not hold their hand.
thanks for reminding me i gotta see if the college im looking at rn has one. they offer everything else
thanks for the tips! ill look for a animal shelter to volunteer for. over there. i did in my area but they never got back to me rip...
my dog is very old, like 12 years old. only recently have me and my family noticed hes going deaf. we already trained him but when we tell him to sit or come he doesnt listen. so i have to rely heavily on physical language with him. hes always been grumpy but not this evil. he growls and anyone and everyone. my mom already booked an appointment to see wtf is going on with him.