How do you deal with the anxiety of having your story out there?

[ylldre]

I’ll be a patron of this thread cz I have the same problem but with my art. Eventually though i mellowed out as i age and become adult and decided what the hell, i almost died of covid so might as well put it out there. The thing i am certain is to not put my whole focus on that thing, so i have to have other things going on for me for insurance so when one thing turns sour i still have those other things.

[migxmeg]

Practice and work out your self-cringe muscles - not writer, but similar experience as artist. Found a supportive place (this forum) and post things that I didn't feel confident about or even were super embarrassing for me to post (old art, romantic fluffy stuff). Just rip the band aid off and post it. Like DJKLSJKD it's really scary! But do that enough times and eventually you'll get used to it. It helps that everyone is very nice!

Then when you start to get better it's even easier, because if you could post that other stuff, then of course you can post your new stuff, right?!

[crowstories]

Yes.... I don't really have a solution for you, just commiseration. It's hard putting your brain babies out there for potential ridicule or indifference. Luckily I've been able to find a supportive community of creators, mostly from the forums, but the insecurity runs deep and I'm not sure I'll ever be fully comfortable with it. With that said, every nice comment, like, etc. gives me a moment of joy. It's fleeting but I try to enjoy it for as long as I can/go back and read nice comments when I'm feeling uncertain.

[F-O-N]

Deal with it? You're supposed to deal with it? I just usually collapse on my bed in a nervous shaking mess on a weekly basis until I fall asleep at around 3AM

Jokes aside: It took me years to get up enough courage to even start posting. I did a lot of writing for fun, mostly I would take interesting scenarios from tabletop games like D&D, Deadlands, Shadowrun, etc. and turn them into short stories to share with the group. It was this group of friends that convinced me to actually start writing and publishing it online. TBH they told me I should try to make an actual novel, but most of the ideas I have are a bit too pulpy for that imo.

I knew wen I started that my writing was made for certain people, that some people wouldn't like it. When was the last time you saw a book, movie or video game that every reviewer gave a perfect score? I have only started writing, and to tell the truth I am dreading the day I read my first negative comment. I think that end the end, when if finally happens I will probably be able to take a look at the comment and say, "I guess this just isn't for you then."

[arxianfall]

No one cares. But, on the bright side, no one cares!

[sefra114]

I usually say- just go for it! It is scary, and I do not mean to downplay it. I completely understand and have been there in the past. Ultimately, the way I see it is either you share your art and gain fans, maybe some criticism, or you keep it to yourself and never get either. For me, I much rather share my work than have it only for my eyes forever. There's no fun in that, I think!

It will be tough at first, but it'll be worth it. You don't know what the outcome will be for your story until you put it out there and find out! And it sounds like you've worked hard to become the writer that you are today, why not let people see the fruits of your labor? The worst that could happen as you say is people don't read it- but if you don't share it, no one is seeing it anyway! So I would say give it a shot and see how it goes. If you do it and still feel uncomfortable, you can always take off your story.

[Toastbuster]

I was TERRIFIED when I first started posting my novel online. I still get anxious to this day anytime I post a new chapter. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel that way. You spend so much time and energy on a project, so of course you want people to like it! However, I’ve found that it’s gotten less and less stressful for me over time. Something that’s helped me a lot with anxiety is having a beta reader. Find someone you trust and have them give you some feedback before you post online. Just remember that no matter what you do, you can’t please everyone, but that’s ok! If you do get negative feedback, think of it as an opportunity to learn and improve. And regarding your worry over lack of interest, I understand it can be disheartening, but try not to let it get to you too much. People have the attention span of a walnut these days. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer, and it can be especially difficult to grab people’s attention with written works on sites like Tapas, where you’re constantly competing with all the pretty comics out there. Lastly, I’ve learned that it’s important to write for yourself. You obviously love writing, and you shouldn’t let anyone else’s opinions change that. Tell the story YOU want to read about. If others want to join along for the ride, great! If not, there’s still always going to be that sense satisfaction of knowing that the creative thoughts in your head are finally free. I hope this helps! ️

[rajillustration]

What I realized from putting my work online for so many years with ehhhh middling results is that, most of the time--you will get zero reaction out of people. If you are just a nice person, you will probably not see mean comments until you get to a certain point of popularity (and block, if you do. Just block those people. And I'm gonna be real honest: I've never had a mean comment. Ever. I'm in my 30's. That's how rare comments are.). It feels like you're sending work out to the void--but on the plus side, you can do whatever you want, and people will treat you exactly the same. My family doesn't care. My friends don't care. Hell, it's so common for people IRL to not care about this mass of weird content I make, that one of the tests I have for if a guy actually likes me--is if he actually read my work. That's how rare it is to find people that will actually care.

In all, art is neat, writing is neat, but there's so much of it in the world, that even if you are promoting and shouting it from the rooftops--most people won't even notice. While that sucks, there is something absolutely liberating in that. Our fear is that we will be judged--but for the most part people don't judge. They just say "cool" and move on.

But when dealing with the lack of interest, I like to make sure I have one person that reads my stuff--may be one person from an online group (even here on the forums) or a family member I make my proofreader...but you have to have at least one person you're writing for. That makes it a lot more worth it because then when you see the low views and likes it'll be like "but I did get engagement from that one person, and so I can keep going." It also makes it easier to write. You can't please thousands of people...but one person? You can make person happy.

[Kaydreamer]

I've never actually had any anxiety about sharing my art and stories. I occasionally get mild jitters before jumping up on stage to sing, but never for my other creative endeavours. I suppose years of singing live in front of an audience kinda inoculated me against feeling nervous about sharing my creations.

My advice is just do it. Just share. The more you share, the less scary it becomes. It's exposure therapy, in a way.

[Ordinaryaverageguy]

When you discover how infrequently it will actually be seen, some of the stage fright goes away. Worked for me, anyway.

[thetalentedmrwulf]

100% agreeing with @arxianfall on this.

I've been writing since I was in second grade, trying to show it to anyone who would pay attention, and while at first I was incredibly eager to show people anything I did, at some point after college I developed crippling imposter syndrome to go along with previously unaddressed depression and anxiety.

No one cares was the worst thing I could thing of. After medication and therapy, I found out I could use it as a protective mantra. If no one cares, there's no reason to hide in shame. If no one cares, there's no reason to not write to amuse myself. If no one cares, I'm not hurting anyone by sharing with anyone who cares to listen.

No one cares is tough because if you're someone who thrives on feedback and people finding joy in your work, it stings a lot. But, there's no reason to not try to pull a judo throw on a traitorous brain and use no one cares as justification for sharing it with anyone and everyone.

Besides, I guarantee there's someone who is ragingly mediocre screaming how awesome they are at the top of their lungs (statistics say it's a rude middle-aged white guy) and getting in people's faces in non-socially distant ways. In the face of that, try not to ever feel like you don't deserve to share what you're proud of.

[kmlangleyauthor]

I go all clinical on myself and remember that our brains have a negativity bias to try to protect us but that’s helpful for me to remember – because my brain really loves way too much trying to figure out any and all worst case scenarios. And even though that’s on overdrive for me (yay, anxiety ) that is trying to protect me, too, by preemptively determining the threat to eliminate.

I’ve been posting my story for almost a year and I still get terrified the night before an update goes live. Before this story, I firmly held to my belief that no one ever would read anything I wrote. But then... I realized that, as much as I enjoy writing for me, stories are made to be shared. And so I started posting and crying

Something that I appreciate specifically about this site is that there’s enough varied content for everyone to find something they enjoy. So it’s almost always people who want to read your story and already enjoy it that are reading (and potentially commenting). People don’t tend to leave mean comments (or comments at all, if you look at the stats), and most people who do leave comments are really excited about the story.

No one cares is tough because if you're someone who thrives on feedback and people finding joy in your work, it stings a lot.

I think that’s what’s great about this community – it’s been really nice to find other people that care here

you have to have at least one person you're writing for. That makes it a lot more worth it because then when you see the low views and likes it'll be like "but I did get engagement from that one person, and so I can keep going."

This is one of the best things that’s worked for me I have a few consistent people that stay up to date and usually leave me little positive comments. And they are the people I keep doing this for

[StuffingPuffin]

Thank you guys for replying!

It helps me feel better to know that it’s so common. I got choked up reading your comments.

[mcarrowolga]

Switching from my native language to English killed my writer's anxiety for good. I was so terribly afraid of publishing my stories, of getting noticed, of not getting noticed, of having to deal with harsh critiques, of being trolled and harassed, etc. Now I'm perfectly calm about all that. It seems that I'm way less sensitive when I think in a foreign language, as if it's wired into my logic, not my emotions.
Before switching completely, I used this trick: I allowed my inner voice (that nasty troll critic that made my life hell) to speak freely but only in a foreign language (English or German). Watching it struggle with basic phrases and then shutting up was pure joy

[BreakingChalk]

Though I don't think this is the only reason why most of us are doing this, I keep thinking I'm doing it for myself.

Of course, everyone would like their stories to be liked, and talked about, or to get profit from it perhaps, but ultimately, we are doing it because we want to realize our ideas.

Whether others like it or not, or webtoon trolls vote 1 star or more, we shouldn't mind it as long as we are writing/drawing what we want.

[gempompadour]

By remaining anonymous. Because no one knows who I am, and my artist self is separated from my real life self, I don't take any of the negativity tossed at my way personally. I can go outside my online creative bubble if it gets too distressing and come back when I feel like it. It's of course easy for me because I make comics as a hobby. It it were my job I'd be in trouble, lol!

People not liking my art does sting a bit but they don't know me and I don't know a single thing about them.

[TheDoublekey]

Put it out and hope for the best, that's the only suggestion I can give you. I honestly have your same doubts and problems when it comes to publishing a series, but that's the beauty of it: you never know how things will go.

Always try doing your best, put yourself out there, results will surely come!

[gusconstantine]

There's always going to be people who will criticise you and mention something negative about your work, but the great thing about this site is I've actually never encountered them here. The community is great and everyone always has a nice thing to say.

You can't avoid negative comments, just be ready for them and be open to learn from them too. I got a nasty comment on my instagram once about perspective, but they were right, it wasn't well done. I just deleted the comment, banned the person, and learned from the mistake. If it had been a nice comment I would've thanked them!

[Lady_T_Musings]

having a near-death experience does make a lot of hiccups we have just seem trivial. That happened to me after my cancer scare. I just started to realize there's no time for all this fretting and worrying about what everyone else will think when there's something I want to make and put out there (or shoot just things I want to do in life that others close to me won't agree with, it's my life dangit).

There will be some naysayers and yay-sayers and neutrals, but at the end of the day, I'm making this comic bc I want to, and it means the world to me. I'm happy when folks also dig it, share it, and talk about it, but I know there are also folks who will enjoy it in silence. Overall though, making it brings me joy, a sense of satisfaction, and a bit of pride, so I do it!

[ylldre]

Everything you say i 1000% agree. When you almost died then your perspective of the world shifted so drastically and you care more about the things you love and the things you’re afraid of what others might perceive useless is diminished. All hail for us!!