How often do you get imposter syndrome?

Well, I've been at this for over twenty years, but, even in the early days...no, I don't think that ever happened to me while I'm in mid-project.

That said, before starting a lot of big projects I have had this feeling of "What the HELL have I gotten myself into?!" After I've finished one, I get this weird disconnect of "Wait, did I write that?!"

But during...no. That said, in my early years, I was pretty damned arrogant, so part of that might just be that I was a f---ing idiot at the time...

All the time, in all aspects of life.

One of the most reassuring things I've found is that imposter syndrome is pretty common, even in people who make comics professionally and have a huge following.

When I got onto the Tapas Creator Bonus Program, my first feeling after intense euphoria was just absolute panic and paranoia like "...But why did they pick me? Is this a mistake? My comic is too small, it's kind of rough around the edges and hard to market. Was I chosen to prove why picking such an insignificant comic for the program isn't viable? Is it a practical joke to take my ego down a peg?"

No matter how much I achieve, there will always be a part of me that thinks I'm not good enough. I've had work in published books, games and apps multiple times at this point, placed in national comics competitions, sat on a panel with Scott McCloud, done a book signing in Forbidden Planet in London and been featured by Tapas a bunch of times. But to that little bully in my brain, I'm always the quaint little awkward weeb country bumpkin with delusions of grandeur who keeps getting lucky opportunities but isn't really all that good at what she does.
Sometimes that mean little voice is good to have; it's what drives us to improve and not just take people's enjoyment of our work for granted. But sometimes it can really suck; it's demotivating, it makes promoting yourself really hard and even though you'd think it'd make taking criticism easier because it brings humility, it often makes it harder because you hear criticism and think "Yeah! See, I was right. I do suck".

So remember: Most people have it, especially if you're from a group often marginalised in art and media for whatever reason based on gender, sexuality, race, class/income, disability, neurodiversity etc. It's really normal to feel like that. Everyone has room for improvement, like literally everyone, and finally... Just by making a novel or comic, you are already doing great. There are tons of people out there who always say they're thinking of writing a book or drawing a comic, but you're doing it! You're making it happen! That already makes you super-cool. Keep going, keep improving, get feedback from people who actually want you to succeed, and remember when you get an opportunity or hit a milestone that you earned it and you deserve it.

Being my own unique dude is basically my whole deal so I can't say I ever get these feelings. Also I'm not a paid artist, but, I know I've seen a lot of fradulent 'professional' artists out there to give me enough integrity in my own work.

When I feel a panel isn't good enough, eh, I say its good enough. I got hundreds, possibly thousands more panels to be drawing, y'know.

I lived by "fake it till you make it" until I turned 40,
I stumbled into situations pretending to know what I´m doing and learning
it by doing, it sometimes worked and sometimes didn´t, so you can say
that I´m the definiton of an imposter.
When I turned 40 things changed because I started drawing again
and this time I wanted to be really good before I publish something
or before I´m involved in some crappy production and that mindset
brings a lot of imposter syndrome because you never have the feeling
to be good enough, the learning and training never stops and other
people see your art totally different anyway. But it´s hard to get
rid of that feeling not being good enough

What are you talking about? Are you really sure you're having imposter syndrome? You still have some bouts of unfounded confidence and occasional undeserved satisfaction left; does that warrants for an imposter syndrome? See?! You aren't even good enough for an imposter syndrome.

Of course, all the time - it's inevitable.
However, it's still important to continue the work, and to remember that no person is ever truly fit to judge another person, and that's including themselves.
You can never know whether or not you're 'good enough' in the truest sense; and no matter how you feel about yourself, the fact of the matter is that you're already here, and that you're already underway with creating your comic - it's best to immerse yourself in the joy of creating regardless.

You can do it!

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I started thinking about this more as I never really heard about this till I started talking to more artist folks online and would get blown away by how many folks (who I believe are amazing artists and extremely talented in my book) felt this way since in my head there's an audience for everything, even if it's not a huge one, so if you find your audience and get well known in it, it's because you found the folks who appreciate your work and any notoriety you gained is deserved so keep doing what you do.

Now don't get it twisted, I don't think I'm the best thing since slice bread or nothing, I just think I have realistic expectations for what I make and do and there are folks who like what I make and do as much as I like making and doing it (lol) and that's what I focus on. I know I'm good but have lots of room for improvement, but that isn't a mark against me as I aim to continue to improve so long as I draw breath.

I think most, if not all, creators experience Impostor Syndrome at some point in their lives. I know I certainly have, and sometimes still do, especially when I reach outside of my comfort zone and try to do something new.

Two things have given me a great deal of perspective and comfort with handling it, though. The first is realizing that some truly incredible, accomplished people also experience impostor syndrome. In fact, this is an anecdote that Neil Gaiman told on his blog, which rocked me back on my heels and made me reconsider Impostor Syndrome:

"Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name*. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for."
( https://journal.neilgaiman.com/2017/05/the-neil-story-with-additional-footnote.html )

The second way of looking at Impostor Syndrome that has helped me, if I can't shake it, is to just roll with it. Like this comic, courtesy of Foxes in Love:

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I once had this dude I used to call a friend push me real hard and consistently tell me I'm nothing over and over and over again. As a result, I ended up relying too much on co-writers. It would take me a while to break out of my shell.

Now? I don't really get imposter syndrome; although I will say I am afraid that what I'm writing may not appeal to the masses since I don't write for myself (side effect from being friends with that jerk). As a I result, I constantly reshape my story to try and appeal to as many people as possible.

I am someone who has a really bad anxiety disorder and I suffered my whole life with imposter syndrome. From not being "good enough" to be someone's friend to feeling like I "cheated" my way to good grades to generally not feeling like I am worth much as a person.

I think when it comes to art/posting, I sometimes get my feeling of "not being good enough" to sort of drive myself to improve and experiment a little. Because sometimes if your brain is saying "my art doesn't look right", that could be a valid criticism. I guess the only thing you need to be careful not to nitpick. Because even the greatest works of art and stories have flaws if you pick it apart enough. Sometimes you need to find the balance of "this looks OK to post as it is".

I also feel like posting online has helped a little too. If someone is reading something for free, it's not like they lose anything even if they hate it or it's not their cup of tea. It also allows to find more niche audience. Sometimes the art world is full of elitist views while sometimes most other people and the average joe just want to find something they enjoy, even if it is not "high art".

Almost all the time- especially when I see my fellow peers doing somewhat better than I have in the realm of selling/creating art stuffs.

I sometimes have to remind myself that I have a FT job, so I'm not gonna be able to crank out as much work as they do and put in the amount of time and energy that they do. Sometimes I think I trick myself into believing that I'm not putting out a lot of art- and then I'll scroll through my Patreon and/or Pillowfort account and see how much art I did produce over a given period of time.

I’m also in the camp of folks who were bullied for their quality of work very early on. But honestly I never really experienced imposter syndrome early on because I became super quick to manage my expectations and treat every project as an ongoing experiment and part of the journey to improvement. Treating everything like it was not the final project I was every gonna do and being a little less precious and more experimental forced me to take any negative comment or response in stride, If I or someone else made me feel like I wasn’t good enough I would just think “Well, duh. I’m still learning. Like, yeah, that just makes sense.”

I do work on my comics full time now and experience imposter syndrome a LOT more than I ever used to.I get invited to cons, do signings, talked at colleges, and I have never felt like I deserved to be there or to have the amount of success I’ve had. Especially because I STILL treat every new project as an experiment and not like a precious and serious example of my work at 100% of my writing and drawing capacity (which is hard to do when you’re working in it full time because you just have to keep moving onto the next thing and the next thing until something hits just big enough that you can focus on something for more than a year). But every time I have a big thing happen I feel like I’m getting pranked or they just feel bad for me.

I think the important thing to remind yourself (and I frequently have to do this too) is that if people think you’re worthy of reading and keeping up with then you just simply are and you can’t really control that. And also to try to refocus that negative feeling into the desire to improve all the time. You’re never going to stop improving, and with those improvements you’ll get more support, and with more support you’ll start thinking “I don’t deserve these readers”, and then keep on trying to improve for them anyway. Don’t let it paralyze you.

Hmm... not when I'm actually working on the comic, but sometimes I feel like I'm burdening others or being a bother! Or "why would someone want to hear my take on XYZ"?

When it comes to posting pages, though, I feel like my growth has built up over time, so I don't feel like I have an audience I don't deserve. I think it would be much worse if I immediately got super popular.

No idea why I feel fine hurling comic pages into the ether but not other types of work. I'll put out a comic even if I'm not entirely happy with it; I think having a deadline really helps in that area.

Constantly, all the time.

But I manage. The more stressed I get the more it happens.

Haha I think I have reverse impostor syndrome - I think I'm hot shit despite there being no real world evidence of me having accomplished anything noteworthy When I post my work and it doesn't get as much traction as I was imagining, I'm like this:

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Why am I telling you this? Tbh I think for at least some of us, 'impostor syndrome' is actually a backlash against thoughts that we're good, because it's like 'oh no, I think I'm good, that means I'm totally an arrogant bastard aren't I? D: Quick, think humble thoughts!' So I've been having a much better time ever since I've accepted it's okay to be arrogant, as long as you don't hurt others or put others down to feed your ego :]

Or you might just have genuine impostor syndrome, and this wasn't helpful at all :'D