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river121693
Aug '23
3

I'm trying to figure out the appropriate reaction.. Major spoiler to my comic- Sao and the Glow of Memory:

I have a side character named Amri. Her father was murdered by bandits when they raided her city. She spiraled, until she fell in love and marries a man named Jor who helped her heal.
2 years later, Jor was murdered.
His killer (one of the MCs) was caught and given the death penally. The killer reveal that she killed Jor because Jor was among the bandits that also killed her family-- meaning Jor might have killed Amri's dad too.

If you were Amri, how would you feel toward Jor? Would you feel completely betrayed by Jor? would you be happy that he was killed? would you still be sad for him knowing that he might have killed your father?

this is the final exchange I wrote after Amri freed the killer. It's supposed to play into a bigger arc about revenge vs chances, forgiveness, and healing. But I'm wondering if it makes sense as a reaction.

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    Aug '23

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powerplantanimations
Aug '23
1

I'd be concerned and ask myself why there's a dude claiming to be my husband and why he murdered my Dad. :v

But in all seriousness, I would just take that moment to do the most unpredictable thing possible, but considering she's saying "How much of his love was true, now that I'll never know" I'd just make her dead inside. Like her just.... silent. Maybe make her stare like she's looking into the void. Like she's still "processing this".

Or maybe she's like "What would Daddy do?". Maybe if her Dad's good enough, she can straighten up and be like "Look man, I just need to accept that you were just doing whatever to seek justice for your father and mine got caught up in the mix". Maybe this could be a good opportunity for her to be like "What would I do if the tables were turned?".

Maybe she's irrational at first but then other characters were like "If the tables were turned, would you do it?". Depending on who the husband's father was. I haven't read your comic in a while, but I'm ASSUMIIIIIIIIING that they got together because they both got dead Dads.

Maaaaaybe she's like "I forgive you but like.... you still killed my father... I think we need to break-up".

OR MAYBE she's like "screw you" and then you introduce a villain, your lady character in the panel kills the villain (because he's somehow connected to the Dad's death), and then they meet a character. You play the long game until the gang finds out "Oh crap.... we just killed their Dad". And the lead just feels bad for this and then she contemplates how many orphans she created. Maybe have those orphans/widows come back as antagonists or maybe give her a reputation making her ask more questions morally speaking. Then she goes up to the husband. She doesn't SAY she forgives him, but he is like the only person she can talk to and the two ease-up into a couple again :v

river121693
Aug '23
1

sorry I didn't explain things properly. Jor was among the bandits who killed Amri's father and raided the city. Then Jor later marries Amri. Then Jor was killed by another person who's also seeking revenge.

She's talking to Jor's killer in those panels.

I was wondering about whether to include the "how much was true" part though. Maybe it's better to just remove it and emphasize her shock?

harlan
Aug '23

I think my husband would be much more likely to murder his own father.

I think the reaction I these panels is really good and believable under the circumstances. It wasn’t a directed murder, it was an occupational murder. I could see an impulse to disassociate the man she loved with the man he was before her.

river121693
Aug '23
1

loll.
and thank you. The dissociation part is what I'm worried about the most. Glad that it's making sense

thepenmonster
Aug '23

How would you feel if your husband might have murdered your father

  1. When did dad come back to life?

  2. When did I get married?

  3. When did I become gay?

As for your story: It would be about how you established your character's personality thus far. I find that even in a stressful situation folks remain true to themselves. Maybe just a bit more. If, for example, Amri is a doormat, they'll stay that way.

river121693
Aug '23

oo very true. Ill consider the dialogue more in relation to the character

Katzalcoatl
Aug '23

When someone first finds out that their partner may have killed their father. The most common reaction is hatred towards their partner wether they did it on purpose or not. They would say stuff like "get out" and "never come near me again" stuff like that.

And most of the time that hatred happens even if their partner was not directly involved after all emotions aren't logical. Just the sheer asociation to the bandits would make you hate your partner but after they leave you would probably scream and cry. Feeling hurt since you feel betrayed. After all the person you trusted the most was indirectly involved with your fathers death.

After a while and many cliche circumstances you would probably forgive your partner and understand that they didn't do what they did on purpose.

I feel that the only thing you are missing in your panels is to show Amri's hatred and tears towards the betrayal Amri is feeling. I can feel the emotions of Jor but I can't feel any empathy nor conection to Amri. I think you nailed Jor though.

darthmongoose
Aug '23

I actually have a question. Did Amri know that Jor was a bandit before they got together?

Because if she had no idea he was a bandit, and was told this information, her first reaction would surely be absolute denial, "There's no way my husband was a bandit! He was a peaceful office temp! (or insert more appropriate job title)."

But if she knew he was a bandit, it means she was fine with the very likely knowledge that her husband probably had murdered people, taken their stuff, ruined their lives, or at least been complicit in doing so... And now must deal with the fact that he maybe didn't just do that to strangers, he might have participated in attacks on her family. How this affects her kind of depends on how she felt about Jor's past, and what he told her about his past. Like... was he full of regret and she forgave him? Then she'll obviously be upset, but maybe always knew this was a possibility and after struggling, she must forgive his memory, as she forgave him for all the other people he killed. OR was he a bad boy and she was kind of into it because he protected her and was nice to her? In this case, she's the "I never thought leopards would eat my face! says lady who voted for leopards eating people's faces party" meme, and she's a much more selfish person, so she'd be really angry about this personal betrayal, and frustrated that there's really nobody she can take it out on.

river121693
Aug '23
Katzalcoatl

oo I didn't properly contextualize the image. The person with dreads isn't Jor. Her name is Rang and she killed Jor as revenge for being a part of the bandits that killed her family too. So Jor's gang killed both Amri and Rang's family. Amri unknowingly marries Jor, while Rang kills Jor in revenge. This is Amri confronting Rang after Rang killed Jor.

@darthmongoose she didn't know. Angry denial makes a lot of sense. I was trying to write denial but also keep with the theme of forgiveness instead of revenge-- as in, making both the killer (Rang) and Amri wonder if Jor could've changed his way.
I did thought about Amri knowing that Jor was a killer from the start but have already forgiven him. I think tat dynamic would be super interesting. But I'm saving that for a later part of the arc. Thanks for the detailed thoughts!

darthmongoose
Aug '23

Yeah, I think her initial reaction would be denial, like "there's no way my kind husband who loved me, helped me heal, could have been some horrible bandit! You must be lying!"

And I think she would hold this belief, perhaps with a little nagging doubt at the back of her mind (how much depends on just how much she trusted him and how in-character or plausible it seems)... until there's corroborating evidence. Whether or not she searched for evidence or had it pushed on her may depend on how strongly she wants closure on this issue, versus how much she wants to just let it go.

If the evidence all adds up, she can either willfully ignore it, because it's too painful to take, or because she feels like it wouldn't make a difference now anyway and she'd rather keep the memory of her peaceful husband... or she can try to come to terms with it. This will be a very difficult process, because she can't talk to him about it; he's gone. She can't shout at him, she can't ask why, and it's like... not only does she have to come to terms with the fact that her husband used to be a killer, but then there's the fact that he never told her, undermining the trust of that relationship, and then the fact that he took someone from her and kind of ruined her life... mixed with the grief of loss of someone she loved who also saved her.

Honestly, the trauma caused by this would be horrible to deal with.

river121693
Aug '23

that's incredibly helpful! I rewrote it with some of your thoughts. Thank you!

Katzalcoatl
Aug '23
river121693

That totally changes everything. The reaction could be either denial or pure shock or both. I think darthmongoose pretty much summarized everything that needed to be said.

It always makes for an interesting plot to see how the MC reacts to such shocking news. It also opens many possibilities plot wise.

TheLemmaLlama
Aug '23

tbh I don't like my dad very much, so I'm just going to treat this as if someone I cared about may have murdered someone else I care about in a bandit raid

Basically, I'd want answers. The 'you've robbed all of the answers from me' line resonates, but less of a 'I wish he was alive so I can scream at him' kind of way, but I'd want to hear his side of the story, which I can't anymore

Like, if I've loved someone for 2 years and this news is completely foreign to everything I know about them, I'm not going to throw out all my priors in favour of just thinking they've been lying to me the whole time ^^; This is why angry denial is so common when a loved one is called out for doing something terrible (although I'd like to think I'd be more open to hearing new information, but really I can't say for sure until it actually happens to me :sweat_02:)

ThunderChicken
Aug '23

I’d be looking for my half of the insurance cheque.

Oh, wait, are we talking fiction?