Thank you for the feedback!
https://tapas.io/series/So-Childish1
I await to hear your critique/opinion
I think the description could be a bit less general and more focused on something. It doesn't give me a hook or a point of interest.
The art is top tier, among everyone on this thread, to my opinion, you have the best art.
I loved the narrative device of the child reading a book, is tried and through, but still works and you make it work perfectly. Kudos to you and your artist.
I feel the description is a bit too vague, you introduce a concept but don't give any explanations about it.
The cover could use some work, there are many really cool free fonts you can find online to improve it for starters. And consider saving to get an artist to do your cover.
I don't know if the village is under siege.
Joking aside, if this was the first thing I read in a book I opened a bookstore, I wouldn't continue, because it feels like the information would keep being repeated.
First, put your links under the description, not as the first line.
The description has a lot of issues, like sentences that are too long and have to many commas and a couple of grammar mistakes.
The art is good, maybe a bit flat, could use half tones or more shading.
Comic is a visual medium and is better to show, rather than just tell. We learn a lot about Cody on the first pages, but everything is told to us, we don't see it. Talking to himself is the easiest, and dare I say cheapest, way to dunk exposition. You could have used a friend at the very least to make it sound more natural, show him stepping on puddles, visually giving us cues both to his lack of computer and his bad luck.
Thank you for the feedback! The link is there because of the dashboard link, but to be fair, I haven't posted much on deviantArt lately so it's only useless. And thank you for checking it out even if the concept is not your favorite! Hopefully I will get better at storytelling by showing more rather than telling.
I can't? Its automatic from the page. So, yeah.
English is not my first tongue, so also, yeah. I do my best with the little I have.
Absolutely agree! This are the things that I can't learn just by doing. That must be told by an outside eye so I can catch it quicker than I could on my own.
Thank you very much for the honest review @Kuma!
Hello! I've already reviewed Centris a bit, but I have to say that your cover art is gorgeous and definitely drew me in. The summary doesn't draw me in all that much, because I'm not that much of a fantasy nerd, but I like that you introduce the main plot threads quickly. I also found one error, "is, without realizing, drafted to become a paw in the silent war between the factions of the court". I believe it should be "pawn" instead? Aside from that, there's a little bit of wordiness that doesn't work in your favor. For a bit of a catchier blurb, you might want to condense it a bit. For example, you could edit the sentence above into "a young mage ... is unwittingly drafted into the silent war between the factions of the court." or "a young mage unwittingly becomes a pawn in the silent war between the factions." Cutting out words and phrases that mess with the rhythm will help a lot. It's also just a lot of info for a blurb.
I have a few concerns for the hook of this one. First is the cover, though I can't do much about it because I have no money to spare for commissions. It doesn't really strike me as a BL cover, and I also think that on Tapas, characters sell really well, so having a cover without that might drag me down. There's also the fact that my setting is based on the Joseon dynasty, but there's nothing on my cover to represent that, so the reader would have to look into the tags and my blurb to get that part. Beyond that, my blurb might actually be a bit too short. I really try to walk the line of not revealing too much while still showing the core of my story to draw people in. I don't want to misrepresent it. Anywho, let me know what you think!
Here is my comics
Comics;
Genre: Action, Drama
Genre: Action, Drama
Genre: Action, Horror
Genre:Action, Drama
Hope you like it..
Hello. My series is a long runner at this point. But I have always had problems when it comes to a description or a thumbnail image lol. I'm never sure what works, so some feedback would be helpful : )
Thanks a lot for the feedback, Although, I mostly have some difficulties with the Description to be honest, as I don't know how to put down in a few words the premise, originally it was longer and more specific on the various stories, but after a while, it might have been a drawback, so I wanted to compact it by also referencing the "Introduction" chapter, and yet it appears it's not working even in this way... I had no idea at all, I always had difficulty with a synopsis (Mostly, trying to explain a lot with just a few words, I tend to be over descriptive in the scripts).
EDIT: Ok, It is shorter than the last one, but I guess this one is more specific and less general, while also not giving away too much.
Ah, I'm glad I could help! I always worry that I'm being too harsh, but the teacher in me wants to help as much as I can.
Apart from working on videogames I practice Pro-Wrestling, so I'm acustomed to getting hit really hard, I have thick skin.
yea i totally understand the issue with the background as im only doing everything myself and backgrounds take a long time to do. as for the story it will take a bit longer to get the full story going as its just the beginning. its slow. but i feel after a few more episodes the story will go better. as for the names they're names i gave them with i was a teen and only changed the last names. mind you i did originally create this story when i was 16 sooooo as of now about....19 years ago. lots of things have changed since. but lets see where it goes. but totally appreciate the feed back. <3