Hey! I'm almost really interested in this and I just left my first like and comment on your story. Here's mine:
I am always open to honest reasonable feedback and always open to sharing an opinion to those that ask
Here is my novel - it is an action fantasy about;
A normal woman, living a normal live, trying to achieve her life's dream of writing a novel however when she lends a helping hand to her friend to watch her two kids. Things become tangled and chaotic, odd things keep happening, dangers keep appearing until, the three must run! Run from what? Run to where? and how long will they run for? Will this woman ever find her normal life, and more importantly will she ever finish her book?
Check out Her Writer's Block on Tapas https://tapas.io/series/Her-Writers-Block6
The Sun - War of Gods Begins 4
Synopsis:
In a world where gods walks among the mortals, a young boy named Aryan is unexpectedly thrust into the divine realm, Following an untimely accident, he awakens not as the boy he once was, but as the Radiant Luminary—one of the most being in the world, The sun god- Aurelion Blaze.
As he grapples with his new existence, he uncovers a dangerous truth—gods are not the pinnacle of creation. An ancient race to ascend beyond even godhood has begun, with deities vying to steal each other’s authority.
Amid the chaos, alliances crumble, and a hidden war erupts, threatening to unravel the fabric of the universe. With powers far beyond his understanding and enemies on all sides, Orion must navigate this treacherous path, where even gods can fall. The war of Gods has begun.
I hope you'll give it a try. Thank you 
I will add you to the roster! Make sure you leave a like and comment on my story before I get to yours.
I will add you to the roster! Make sure you leave a like and comment on mine before I get started on yours!
I read your story and have commented
Here is my feedback if you have any thoughts i am open to a healthy discussion
Storyline ; 6/10
The plot is intriguing, it seems there is a secret behind the boy's birth however vague the mother tends to be however with overly explaining his simple actions it tends to take away from the flow of the story
Narration ; 3/10
Giving the mysterious aspect of the story third person might have been the right choice in the long run however with how you have conveyed it thus far in this specific setting I would much rather read a first person point of view as with a third person point of view describes the mother as an eye - first person Jan could view his mother completely different as his mother is looking at him - (this is a personal opinion)
Character Design ; 5/10
Jan seems to have the lazy and reckless behavior of a boy his age with hobbies he surely enjoys however there also seems to be holes in his design as he is about 14 but he does not know what a birthday is - it was already explained that he reads a-lot - perhaps this aspect is further cleared up further in the story?
Pacing ; 5/10
As pacing goes for a slow - burn it is pretty decent however i have stated this point before as when explaining actions being to specific can hinder the flow - as for 1 example a teardrop falling from the mother's eye (I believe that was in ch 2) unless its in a bottle or something it would be a little less mouthful when saying for example - "his mother shed a tear" or something along those lines
Overall 7/10
There is room for improvement in some aspects however the storyline is interesting and the mystery is captivating and character designs show potiental for some an awesome tale of character development
I hope the feedback is helpful - this is all just a personal opinion so again if you have any thoughts i am open to a healthy discussion anytime
22 days later
I have finally returned with your critique, LOL
Praise: I really enjoyed your concept--you don't see too many stories about a mortician's assistant LOL. I thought your descriptions were very good and you established your main character's personality very well through dialogue which I love. I also enjoy that you got the details of the world across through dialogue and narration rather than an info dump at the beginning. Your character has an interesting ability that is also alluded to very well, but isn't too on the nose and gets the audience interested to know more. Bravo!
Feedback: I think the only feedback I have is to maybe shorten the two first intro chapters a little bit to make it more punchy and keep the audience intrigued. Since there is a change in setting right after, anyway, I think it would keep up the pace and the mystery of things to do so. But, I do also understand that the Tapas word requirement might make it difficult to do this LOL.
Overall, I really liked your concept and your characters are interesting! Keep it up!
️ PLEASE TRY! ️
An action-packed science fantasy like no other—where words and art collide to create something bold and new. Experience a story that pushes the boundaries of storytelling, merging dynamic visuals with a gripping narrative.
In 2158, the world is on the brink of collapse.
Global tensions between Arga and Yuropa are about to ignite a catastrophic Third Territorial War, but something far worse strikes first—a world-splitting apocalyptic event wipes out half of humanity, as leaving only chaos in its wake. The survivors are trapped on one side, cut off from the other by a blinding, impassable light. As survivors huddle within Dome cities, monstrous creatures emerge, tearing apart what remains of society.
Amidst the destruction, a group of soldiers embarks on a dangerous mission.
Their goal: reclaim what has been lost and uncover the terrifying truths that lurk behind this new reality. With time running out and death around every corner, these warriors must risk everything to protect the remnants of humanity.
️ One boy holds the key to salvation or destruction. ️
Darius, an ordinary young man, suddenly inherits the power of a weapon capable of changing everything. But will he rise as the hero humanity needs—or will darkness consume him?
Destiny calls. Darkness awaits.
Hello! I have returned with your critique, also.
Praise: I feel like this is a pretty easy story to pick up any day of the week as the sentences are short and the dialogue keeps the story flowing. I also enjoy that our main character is a babysitter. Very cute. 
I feel like the dialogue heaviness of the story works well with the tapas format as well.
Feedback: A lot of characters are introduced all at once in the first chapter, which made it difficult to tell them apart. I think it would help to slow down a little, establish who each character is and why the audience should care about them before continuing on. I also thought that the narration was a bit too sparse. I had trouble imagining where all the characters were in the environment which took me out of the story a bit. Additionally, I think you switched from third to first person a lot which was confusing and a bit jarring. I think you can do things like this (one of my favorite series is the Bartimaeus trilogy, which switches smoothly from first to third person from chapter-to-chapter) but it has to be very clear why and when the author does it. For example, in Bartimaeus, the first book only follows two characters closely, and when it switches perspectives, it does so at the top of the chapter, which was a very efficient way of doing this. I do also think establishing the wants and follies of your characters early on would do wonders in keeping your audience hooked.
Overall, I enjoyed your story and editing it should be pretty easy. Keep at it!
Hello, I would love to do this, but please read the rules, first! You have to read and comment on at least one of my chapters as a show of good faith before I commit to this. Thank you.
Makes sure you read the rules and read and comment on at least one of my chapters first as a show of good faith.
Thank you for your feedback as for switching from first to third randomly it will be explained in the upcoming chapters that will be uploading between tonight and tomorrow so it should wrap simply and in case it has yet to be realized by some who are caught up on the most recent chapters it should start making more sense as for having too many characters being introduced to fast that was an amateurish way to convey the current shift in the MC's slow and easy life to new changes happening most characters are similar to guest stars so the main focus will be zeroing in on the real MCS soon
Thank you for checking out my novel and i hope you continue to enjoy tagging along with the MCS
@ratscout I'm so sorry for the late review! I actually finished reading a little while ago, but I only just organized the notes I took, so here is it.
Praise: First, I really like the concept you have here and it's something I haven't read before so it feels really fresh. I also think the characterisation for your MC is really good for this story since you're able to convey both his intrigue about the world around him and his nativity. I think this is a really good combo when it comes to finding out more about his family and Earth after landing there. Also, I thought the initial chapters about the setting and mystery behind it all were so excellently done and really hooked me right away.
Feedback: The only I really noticed is that because that initial mystery was so well done, I think it might've been better to sustain it a little longer instead of revealing the truth about his family so early on. I say this because I noticed in the comments that the scenery and intrigue were what really caught everyone's attention right off the start and it could've been a great way to continue hooking readers through the story to find out the mystery since that's what you focus on at the beginning. But I realise that would take a structural rewrite, but maybe something you could do for other mysteries since I think you're really good at writing them.
Anyway, I think your premise is so interesting and I do hope things will turn out alright for Jan! And thanks for doing this review swap with me!
Thanks for this opportunity!
Hi, guys check this out if you like gender benders, isekai, and tower climbing stories
Sypnosis-
This isn’t a tale about heroes—it’s about survival, sacrifice, strategy, and the thin line between justice and madness.
Jun, a loner who values money and games, found himself trapped within a novel in the body of a blind courtesan. A Novel called, ‘The Regressor’s War’, a Murim world where the Constellations and the Towers had taken over. The Tower wasn’t going just to let Jun be and assigned him an impossible mission: ensuring that the Regressor's fate changes. Utilizing his future knowledge Jun overcomes his enemies and hidden plots. As he delves deeper into the Tower, Jun discovers his fate had long been decided before his birth.
The Blind Courtesan
Chapter 23, is out now!
