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Oct 2020
Oct 2020
rolypolyphonic
Sep '20

Hello, as it says in the title I'm a new user on this website and I picked up art as a hobby this year because of quarantine. (I used to draw before but not as a hobby... the last thing I drew before this year was a random Miku in 2017 lol)

Anyway, I am currently working on my first webcomic project and I'd appreciate any reviews, criticism, etc. regarding it! As I've never made a comic before, I know there is still a lot for me to learn. At the moment, it has four chapters and two animated music videos.

The story: BreadAVOTA is about a sentient doll named Bread, and all variations of the aforementioned in a quest to change her name to something less... um, that. In the nation of Maldevara, "Living" is a legal and not biological status and she must fulfill the Legal Requirements of the Living to have her name changed, and somewhere along the way gets dragged along by the celemarketer-slash-"supranatural researcher" angel Charlotte into a conspiracy involving the Undead, cursed galleries, demon popstars and something about the radio.


The Webtoon version has some additional art and worldbuilding/lore stuff: not exactly necessary to understand the story so far but do feel free to check it out if it interests you (:

Some points to consider (feel free to ignore these, these are more guides of what I'd like to know)

Dialogue: This is my main priority: I'm diagnosed somewhere on the cluster A-schizophrenia spectrum so my speaking style comes off as quite stilted and rambly, and writing natural dialogue is difficult for me. Is the dialogue easy to follow and engaging? Or is it confusing and drags on too much? Also, do the characters have distinct "voices" or do they all sound same-y?

Art style: I know my consistency needs work and the characters go off-model, but besides that what else do you think should be improved in the art? Is the art style appealing and does it match the story's mood?

Besides those, let me know if there is anything else you feel needs improvement.

Thank you for your time <3

  • created

    Sep '20

  • last reply

    Oct '20
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Fuzed
Sep '20

I'll take a look later when I have time. Looking forward to it. :wink:

Iris-Grimoire
Sep '20

Honestly, starting just this year with quality this high? You're more than set in some regards! The art, both character artwork and the comic itself, are great, the pacing feels very modern western show-like, and the character design is top notch. For note, I read only the Tapas version.

When it comes to dialogue, it's kind of rambly, but it's still engaging and the characters come through nicely. The only problem I'd mention is that the lettering might get in the way of some of the longer dialogue sequences; some parts seem actually too small to read on mobile (I usually read on browser but the app is the biggest audience) since some text is very, very small; and also, it's usually not recommended to have hyphenation (separating syllables if the words don't fit the line), because it's very hard to read efficiently in comics.

In art, honestly, the off-model-ness of the work feels like its own identity to me. Everyone is always moving, acting, expressing, and even in the characters that don't have a supernatural justification to be fluid, it still feels part of the world. It's a niche on WT and Tapas, I won't beat around the bush(I can attest that it's an uphill battle if you're not easy to binge and your art isn't anime), but when your love for the world and characters just oozes out of the art like this, you'll find that you trade in quick numbers for very engaged fans.

A few extra points:

  • On Tapas, avoid posting twice in the same day. It's best to have a schedule so you can regularly post pages, even if weekly or monthly, but you only display on Fresh every 24 hours, and it's where most of your views come from.
  • This is a very marketing kind of suggestion, so if you don't have the time feel free to disregard, but your cover really doesn't follow the main artstyle of the comic. The extreme shading and coloring in the pages is very unique, and your reader a) doesn't see it when they find your comic at first and b) they find something else entirely when your cover is very rendered and colorful, and might feel lied to. It's good art, but it's better on the character profiles or other places you might promote the comic at.
  • For the animations, if you're going to keep the episodes there when you post new ones, I recommend saving a gif of a few seconds of it to show it off, since Tapas allows you to post any that are under 2mb! Some people just ignore the description entirely so grabbing their attention with a preview is very effective.

And, uh, off the top of my head, that's it! You've got some extremely strong work by itself, so best of luck getting it seen!

rolypolyphonic
Oct '20

Ah thank you so much for your extensive input, I will definitely keep your advice in mind (:

scribesunlimited
Oct '20

We already adore it! :heart:
Subscribed/liked/hyped. :smiley: What a unique storyline, with very unique art and characters!

aviivc
Oct '20

So far the art looks quite amazing! If you want advice I would say to you,

  • Is the title easy to remember?

  • Is the pages too wordy or too small?

Mind you some people like this style of comics, and theres nothing wrong with that at all! Just keep in mind what audience your wanting to draw in and how your going to leave an impression. But the artstyle is nice keep up good work!

rolypolyphonic
Oct '20

Thank you for your feedback! Haha not much I can do about the title since its excessive wordiness is the whole point, but yes, keeping the dialogue more concise is definitely something that I need to work on :"P