Since the arc isn't complete, what episodes would you say are the first complete scene then?
Hi Sera, thank you for offering feedback kn this thread, I would like an honest review of my comic if you would be interested!
1.) Roc
2.)
3.) The first “scene” is technically the prologue, however episodes 1-10 comprise what I would consider to be the first finished scene of Chapter 1, the first chapter is not currently complete, so I understand if you pass me over because of this, thanks for your time!
Hi Sera, thank you so much for taking your time to do this! My name is Alisa or Mallory (Mallory is the name I go by online, Alisa is the given name, either works).
This is my series:
The first act/chapter is the prologue, 7 pages in total, which are titled Prologue 1-7.
Just looked at your main comic. Crisp!
I personally don't need a review because this is all I got and I have to figure things out on my own. I'm also planning to do a new cover anyway. However to be in tune with my inner shill I'll link my comic.
But I like what @Mallory is doing.
Honest feedback is always helpful, thanks for taking the time to do this! You can just call me Luigi.
As a heads up, I don't actually do any of the art for my comic so feel free to focus more on everything else (storyboarding, dialogue, speech bubbles, general flow of the story). The colouring and bubbling also improve after chapter 5.4, so if you manage to make it that far keep that in mind!
While I don't have a completed arc for the story yet (I'd say the end of next chapter would be the end of the first "mini arc"), there are a bunch of different scenes. For now chapter 5 is probably a good stopping point as chapter 6 and 7 start a new scene. I'd personally recommend checking those out as well though (surprise, the guy who writes the story recommends you check out the story) since these latest two chapters are finally getting into the action. In total, there are 32 pages up to chapter 5 + 19 pages with chapters 6 and 7.
https://tapas.io/series/ReWritten-/info (info page for the story, the Webtoons version is the one up to date though)
- I publish under CrystalRook Arts, so that would be good to call me
- The first arc officially ends on episode 14.
Critique however you'd like, the only thing I request commentary on is any improvement you see overtime. The first few episodes were the first things I drew in over 10 years, so I'm interested in how others see the progress as I unrustify myself.
Much appreciated!
Sure, I'm always down for some constructive criticism!
Nickname: Paige
I'm still working on the first act(building to the season finale in the current chapter) but all of chapter 1 is a complete scene. There's 24 story episodes total so far, so there's a good chunk of act 1 done but just chapter 1(EP 1-5 on webtoon and EP 2-9 on tapas) is enough to get the basic gist if you don't want to read too far.
1: Your nickname - how would you like me to refer to you?
Kaydreamer or Kay are both fine!
2: Link to your comic's info page.
3: The number of episodes that covers your Act 1/First arc, or what you believe to be your first scene.
Episodes 1 through to 13! That said, it starts off a little rough, and I get a better handle on pacing issues from Episode 10 through to the current one, so if you find yourself keen to read on, you'll see a lot of improvement around there.
Thanks so much for the opportunity! No worries if you don't get to me, there's a lot of people. 
I was planning to write a better description for some time and you got me a really great idea so thank you for that. 
️
Hi, thank you for taking the time to provide critique to us!
1: Your nickname - how would you like me to refer to you?
You can call me Hexigate, or just Hex.
2: Link to your comic's info page.
3: The number of episodes that covers your Act 1/First arc, or what you believe to be your first scene
Book 1, which is episodes 1-26. To be honest, the series is still in its first act (almost done), but that's a lot of reading I don't want to inundate you with. Each page is short however; much shorter than typical webtoon episodes.
If you have the spare time and energy, I would request that for critique of art, you take a brief glance at the latest pages instead of my earliest. I wouldn't find critique of my old, early art to be very useful.
Again, thank you!
1: Dave
2: Link
3: The first arc starts from episode 1 and ends at 14. Feel free to critique as harshly as you want I'm all for an honest critique.
Hi! Thank you for doing this! You can call me Wen.
If you are still making review, please take a look at my comic:
The first arc is until episode 15.
Thanks!
Hi Copper~ I'll also take a look at the most recent pages for the speech bubbles.
The Cover
The title is clear and easy to read. It's also an interesting title that can draw in people.
The composition of the cover art itself is strong and this would be great as like a paperback cover. But due to the smaller details however, it's harder to appreciate and engage with on mobile.
The Summary
Before the summary, I will say that I like you added genres and the content warnings. Important to tell that off the bat and you've already got that down.
Upon discovering his now ex-childhood friend isn't dead, an emotionally immature alcoholic tries to make amends for ruining their friendship.
This is an excellent logline for the whole story. It sets up expectations and the question for the reader. "Will our protagonist be able to make amends?"
However, if you were inclined, after this first line, you could add a small paragraph expanding some of the specific details.
E.g.: Apollo is doing fine. Just fine. He bartends, parties and drinks with his friends, and talks to a picture of his dead childhood friend. He's fine. Until he thinks he sees his friend during a night out drinking.
The story's first part
Art notes: I looked at latter pages and the bubbles are a lot more readable.
Thankfully on Tapas we can zoom in to read and I know given the traditional nature of your work, it'd be more trouble than it's worth to make the text any larger.
The pages themselves are nicely composed and while I personally love page format, with the easier legibility of a scroll on mobile, a large portion of the audience may be disinclined to read simply because it's not easy to do so on phones. I however didn't have any trouble on my phone, so it's fine. This whole topic of page vs. scroll is a mixed bag anyway.
I'm also partial to traditional color pencils and your use of color and lighting is lovely.
Story Notes:
It's a nice solid chapter one. I like how you take your time demonstrating Apollo's self destructive habits and establish his life as is as well as how he misses his friend with his talking to the photo. Great examples of showing not telling all around.
And the way the chapter ends is a great setup that delivers on your story summary.
Though the content is not my cup of tea, your delivery of storytelling is solid and clear. A slow start but I think it suits the story well. All the best seeing this through to the end ️
Thank you for the opportunity, I really hope you like it.
You may address me as VCD and I just started my comic last month and uploaded chapter 2 last week. More is still on the way.
Aight it's Sunday Night so I'll cut it off here, and try to get the rest of the reviews done tonight o9 <3
Hello Doublemelon~
@doublemelon
The cover
The animation on the gif is a nice touch! A bit wobbly though.
The title is bold and easy to read and since the story is a BL, the pose is nice too.
The Summary
Under normal circumstances, no way these two men would fall for each other. Until... intimidation and power open up the door for romance.
The summary is vague. Who are these two men? Why shouldn't they fall for each other? What exactly is it about intimidation and power that opens romance for them? Does one use intimidation to shove open that door? What happens in the beginning of the story specifically that I should look forward to?
Essentially if you tell me who the two men are, why they shouldn't fall in love and the inciting incident (what situation/action forces that door to romance open)--then it's more likely to hook a reader that does check out the summary first.
I like the cover and it'd entice me to click on your comic, but since I read the summary, I'd enter it feeling a bit iffy about the story since it doesn't actually tell me much.
The First Part
The narrative is not my cup of tea. (I love BL but not so much high school romances) But that's okay, cause that's not my focus here.
I read the first six episodes and what I'll say you do well is turning around expectations. The reader, and protagonist, does one thing expecting a certain result and it ends up being the opposite, that's good writing.
However, what I didn't really learn right away is...their names, I think. It's hard to get attached to the story if I don't even know/remember the characters names.
The text is legible in the speech bubbles, which is good. The grammar can feel a bit off at times in some turns of phrase, so I'd pay closer attention to that.
The sound effects however (and perhaps this is a pet peeve of mine), don't need to be literal actions. The drawing + motion lines is enough for actions that are like a "grab" or 'reveal!' or 'a shiny guy appears' , You can draw those things clearly and make that guy's background shiny enough for the 'show don't tell' principle to apply. Generally speaking, if it doesn't make an actual sound, it's not a sound effect.
Overall though the first six episodes does set up the story and the dynamic between the two main leads and ends with an introduction of a third. I like that the protagonist is actively trying to change his situation and dealing with consequences; you don't always see that.
It might be a good idea to edit the post's title so you don't get flooded with review requests. Something simple like "Open" or "closed".
Hey Stargazer~
@Stargazer31 Thanks for offering up your comic. I'll keep in mind the page gutters.
The cover
To start with, the title is incredibly difficult to make out in the black background. Since the mobile and website now no longer show the title in text under our rectangle thumbnails, it's vital to make sure the reader can read your title.
Just make the text thicker and white and we'll be able to know what the story is called.
That aside the figure on the cover is too small. I'm interested in the light in their hand but I can't make it out. Definitely make that figure bigger so we can see a few more details..
The Summary
Gunhild Gretadottir is the Realmwalker- Asgard's backup warrior, constantly saving the 9 worlds. Follow her adventures through Norse, British and Celtic folklore, accompanied by several Norse gods, a water horse, a few assorted Valkyries, and a bag of runestones.
I do like a summary that tells me the protagonist's name. However the rest of the summary has both a lot going on and not much.
If she's Asgard's backup warrior, why is she constantly saving the 9 worlds? Who specifically are some of the Norse gods that accompany her? Perhaps you can specifically mention the details of her first adventure so we get a sense of what the story is about in terms of action, rather than the cast of characters.
The First part
Art: It's cute and simple and it delivers the story, which is all the art should do.
Text Bubbles: Way too small. It's a bit of a task for me to read even on the desktop and more difficult on the phone. Which is a shame cause I am interested to find out what happens when they mentioned a surge of magic in Kensington...like what's gonna happen? However it it's hard to read a comic, then a casual reader might just not make the effort.
The size and font of your text is among the easiest adjustments to make (though it could take time to do any revisions and I am loathe to recommend any artist in the middle of telling a story to do revisions cause that breaks momentum of production, but once the story is done, I recommend going back and at least making the font larger so it's easier to read.)
The reason comics also use 'comic' fonts or all caps is that the 'hitbox' for the words all fit into neat rectangles with makes it easier and faster to read. It also looks nicer in a composition when arranged into the diamond shape you see in good mobile comics.
If a comic is not legible, the story won't matter if the reader has a hard time actually reading the words.
You've got plenty of room in your bubbles to use something like Anime Ace or Lafayette Comic Pro or a BlamBot font. I had resisted all caps fonts for a while until I realized that the dialogue is just a means of communicating to the reader and is meant to be unnoticed but easy to digest. When Font calls attention to itself it pulls the reader away from the story.
Storytelling: Totally didn't think Laurel would be an actual monster, just a perfectly awful stepmom. I loved the reveal, it surprised me and I am pleased. (This first few chapters of Sigrun's wedding would be great to add to your summary to hook people in, something like: Gunhild's invited to her half sister's wedding despite how much her stepmother hates her. But after trying to leave early she discovers that her stepmother isn't who she seems and is about to bring utter chaos to Midgard! | this would help the reader ask the question: will Gunhild be able to stop her?)
The story is straightforward and keeps moving so it's got good pace. More than that, I'm really invested in Gunhild saving her half-sister. I'm also a fan of mythology so all the references and bits of info are fun.
All the more reason I think larger font and definitely adding some early plot details to your summary will help entice readers to start and keep reading. The story's good, it just needs to be a more legible comic.
