FIFTEENTH UPDATE! (Replies 167-186)
***Iâm back, babies~
Iâve been much too busy to be bored lately, but today I had some unexpected free time, so I decided to continue with the reacting.
KIRA: A Star Wars Story @tjjha
-âI sense no darkness in herâ DUDE she is an INFANT.
âŚThen again, deciding whether or not someone is âfatedâ to be evil when theyâre barely old enough to think and then making the rest of their life into a self-fulfilling prophecy based on that decision DOES kinda sound like a Jedi thing to do⌠^^;
=Knowing Star Wars (and thus, knowing how a story based on it and inspired by it will likely be written) it feels unfortunate that Iâve only read the first handful of pages. The story has clearly just barely begunâŚbut from what Iâve seen, itâs an okay comic. The backgrounds are a bit difficult to read, but I have a feeling theyâll get better with time. And the characters are drawn fairly well so far (that Sith guy was pretty cute~).
Geeking Around: The Webcomic @tjjha
=Itâs likeâŚthe definition of âhit or missâ. Most of the comics are not funny, and those that ARE funny are like, just barely. But the art isnât bad, and itâs engaging enough to make you want to give it just one more chance, over and over again. I was 8 episodes in before I realized I was just mired in lottery mentalityâŚanyway, this could be good, but at the moment it needs work.
Kingdom Come @ReneVergence
=I guess whatâs there is somewhat engaging, but the art just leaves a lot to be desired. Pretty much all the effects so far are done in that same hairy/grainy brushwork styleâŚlike, you say that black substance is supposed to resemble âinkâ, but it doesnât look like ink at all. Badly drawn smoke, perhapsâŚ
I just think, with a first couple of episodes where a lot of strange supernatural things are happening and you donât really know who the characters are or whatâs significant about any of it, you really need the visuals to be strong and to send the correct message. And I feel like thereâs a disconnect between what Iâm seeing and what Iâm supposed to be seeing, so to speak.
The Die is Cast @vec
-First, I gotta say I really like the drawing on the thumbnail (and the banner, tbh)
-Second, I gotta say I think the artstyle is very interesting. You donât see many artists combine such aggressive hatching with bold, actually visible outlines. And it looks like youâve got some light-hatching in there, too; I donât think Iâve ever seen that before.
=Unfortunately, I also gotta say that the writing so far is pretty lackluster. Plus, I had no idea what happened between Pages 2 and 3 at first; some kind of transitional paneling wouldâve been niceâŚ
Izzy! @tomcruznation
=âŚPretty dull, to be honest. Every joke is the same (he builds something dangerous or accidentally causes something dangerous to happen) and none of them are funny.
I think the drawings have some charm, and could fit well in a comic with good, entertaining writing. This ainât it, though.
I AM MEME!! @lillianl100204
-âSnip-bitsâ = âsnippetsâ??
=ThisâŚhonestly looks like a comic made by someone who is 7 years old. â_â;; Iâm not sure what I can even say about it, thereâs just not a whole lot there in terms of art OR dialogueâŚ
If you are 7 years old (or at least under 15?) I recommend you wait a few years before asking for any more critiques or anything (especially from strangers). Do some more work and study on your own; try to figure out what it is youâre going for and how to create something entertaining.
The Hidden Sage and the Star Chariot @CatVI
-Maybe I was just having an attention-deficit moment, but I found the first episode to be very denseâŚI had to take two breaks just to kinda-sorta finish it.
Although, that is the first novel chapter Iâve ever read that hit the word-count limit (that I know of) soâŚ
=Now that Iâve had some time to think about it, though, I think that might actually be something you want to fix? ^^; I mean, shoving the ENTIRE backstory of a character we barely know into whatâs supposed to be an intense losing battle scene that maybe lasts a couple minutes tops in the story itselfâŚ? Youâre taking all that tension and stretching it out and diluting it, all for the sake of fleshing out characters who donât even have names. In the very first chapter.
Itâs not an unacceptable method of storytelling, but I feel like thereâs probably a better wayâŚI mean, Iâd feel pretty cheated if I had to slog through all that only to later find out that these were just minor characters who would hardly matter throughout the rest of the novel. =/
Nevertheless, I like the writing itself. It has a good flow of ideas, and although most of the dialogue so far is just fantasy technobabble it actually sounds pleasant to the earâŚwhich is unfortunately rare. So good on you.
A lot of the similes/metaphors/descriptive language are worded strangely, though, and itâs a bit immersion-breaking, especially since pretty much everything sounds normal EXCEPT for those. Hopefully a good editor could help with that.
