Review Swap/Looking for Reading Partners (Open)

[Turtur]

Hey! I'm looking for anyone who'd be open to exchanging feedback on each other's novels. We'd like and comment specific chapter feedback for the first 10 chapters, and at the very end give overall feedback here on the forum. But, I also don't mind moving over to discord dms for anyone who'd like to ask specific questions or want detailed critiques without them being public here.

If you're interested, leave a comment on my first chapter and let me know here, then I'll get started on reading your work as soon as I can!

Read The Mortician's Assistant | Tapas Web Community

Edit: Opened again since I got through a couple of reviews and have time for more now

[BellaTheCow]

Hello! @Turtur I’ve recently subbed and would be more than happy to give a review on the chapters of your novel.

I understand that you’ve said in the thread that novels are reviewed here but all I have is a comic so I was wondering if you would be ok with me asking for a review on my comic. Any and all feedback is absolutely welcome.

Read The Farmyard Funnies | Tapas Web Community

[Tubacabra]

Sounds good! I only have six chapters published so far, but any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated!

Read From a Ruined World | Tapas Web Community

[Tubacabra]

Read the first chapter! It's really interesting. But I do have a question: Is the other soldier's hair blonde or rouge? Because you said "his bright blue eyes peaked out from under the rouge strands of blonde hair that fell from his helmet." I'm just wondering which it is.

Overall, that first chapter was bomb! (Pun intended). I like how you didn't explain the world building or lore and jumped straight into the conflict, describing your character through her actions rather than physical appearance. The only problem I have is that I don't know what motivates her. You did kind of hint at her being a mercenary, but I'd just like to learn a little more about that.

Anyway, that's my opinion. I'll post again when I've reached chapter 10, but that might not be for a while as I have my own novel to write.

[BellaTheCow]

P.S. BTW, I can only do three chapters for now. I hope you don’t mind I know you said ten chapters. I’m just really busy right now. @Turtur

[Turtur]

That's no problem at all, and I'd love to read over your comic! I'll get started as soon as I can

[Turtur]

I've just subbed to your story and I'll get started on reading through it as soon as I can!

Also, thank you for the feedback here! As for your question, I think it was supposed to 'rogue strands' instead of 'rouge strands' which is a small difference but changes the meaning entirely so thank you for pointing that out to me. And regarding her motivation, it's based around wanting to find peace and quiet at this stage of the novel which is alluding to a bit near the end of part 2, but I'll work on making that more clear.

And don't worry too much about reading through my novel as fast as possible since I'm also busy with writing, so let's aim to get through each other's stories before the end of the competition (since I noticed the AF_Tourney tag and it'll be good to get feedback before the submission date).

[Turtur]

Hey @Tubacabra! I just finished your first chapter and wow, I'm loving the descriptions of Mancer, especially his tattoos, and all the imagery you used. he one about the ‘blood dripped from his nose, teasing the bone dry ground with moisture’ really painted the scene by not just showing what’s happening about also giving insight to the environment, which I really liked and found effective storytelling.

Though I think you could’ve utilised more showing instead of telling since you’re clearly pretty good at all. Like for example with ‘Edwin wanted to beg for mercy, but couldn’t make a sound’ which could be changed to something like ‘Edwin’s knees almost buckled and fell to the ground, about to beg for mercy but he remained frozen still, unable to make a sound’ which might be able to get the emotion through better.

But that’s just my opinion and a minor alteration. Overall, it’s a really intriguing set up and I’m fascinating by the plot you outlined in your description. It's very promising!

[BellaTheCow]

Hello again! @Turtur so I’m back after reading the next two chapters of your novel and honestly, I’m really into it. It’s super detailed (I mean, just the fact that you included morphine being part of a WWI soldier’s military kit is not something that would have been obvious at all to me if I were to write a novel based off of these historical events) which makes the story very interesting as well as immersive and educational. And the storyline is very exciting. My only concern is that it seemed that in your third episode ( I refer to Chapter 2) I saw some grammar issues (not many at ALL, it was only just two sentences that were missing one word each or something) so I am going to send a message to you with some pics of the pages that are marked with the places I found these sentences.

I’ll continue to read your novel as I’m super interested and excited about what’s next for Irene after she gets out of the hospital. Overall, absolutely superb work.

[Joisarjaydeep11]

The Sun - War of Gods Begins

Synopsis:

In a world where gods walks among the mortals, a young boy named Aryan is unexpectedly thrust into the divine realm, Following an untimely accident, he awakens not as the boy he once was, but as the Radiant Luminary—one of the most being in the world, The sun god- Aurelion Blaze.

As he grapples with his new existence, he uncovers a dangerous truth—gods are not the pinnacle of creation. An ancient race to ascend beyond even godhood has begun, with deities vying to steal each other’s authority.

Amid the chaos, alliances crumble, and a hidden war erupts, threatening to unravel the fabric of the universe. With powers far beyond his understanding and enemies on all sides, Orion must navigate this treacherous path, where even gods can fall. The war of Gods has begun.

I hope you'll give it a try. Thank you

Read THE SUN - War Of Gods Begins | Tapas Web Community

[Turtur]

Hey @BellaTheCow! Thank you for that great feedback, and especially for bringing those grammar mistakes to my attention. I always have small mistakes like those leak through even after checking through chapters multiple times, so I'm glad you pointed that out.

Anyway, I finished the first three chapters (and a little more) last night and I have to say that your comic is hilarious! The comedy is right up my alley with this very witty quality to it, and that one joke about Animal Farm was my favourite so far since I'm a big history nerd (but I've already said that). I think there's something so charming about your art style paired with the humour, and I could definitely see readers tuning in to every update because they're nice little bite-sized chapters that are just a fun time.

The only thing I noticed was that at times it was difficult to see or notice changes in expression or in a scene because you're not often changing the frame of a scene. I often found myself having to zoom in with my phone just to see it clearly and maybe some readers might miss the nuances, which is a shame since those expressions are just golden! I get it's most likely a stylistic decision, but maybe something to keep in mind.

Overall, it was such a fun read and I'll definitely be continuing to follow your comic since it was so binge-able. Keep up the great work and I'm loving what you're doing!

[BellaTheCow]

Thank you so much for this feedback! @Turtur I do understand what you mean, I’ll see what I can do to make the expressions more visible (maybe I’ll make bigger panels). Other than that, I’m really happy to hear you like my series and I thank you for your support.

[Vayvaction]

If you are available/still open I hope you can read mine (if you do agree just note i am a slow reader and you don't need to sub if you don't want to) - https://tapas.io/series/I-Will-Be-The-Death-Of-You/info

[BellaTheCow]

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[BellaTheCow]

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[caffeinatsun]

@Turtur I love doing things like this! If you’re still looking/interested/open give me a nudge and I’ll make a note to go in with my commenting goggles on

[Turtur]

Hey @Vayvaction! I'm still open for swapping reviews so I'd be happy to read yours. I've just subbed to your work just to make it easier for me to find it, and don't worry about being a slow reader too much since I'll also need some time getting through everyones stories. But, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to aim to read through each other's works by the 24/10 for the AF Tourney, if that's not too much trouble for you

[Turtur]

@caffeinatsun I'm definitely still open to some more review swaps, so feel free to send me the link your story and I'll get started on it as soon as I can!

[Turtur]

Hey @Joisarjaydeep11! I just wanted to confirm if you were interested in doing a review swap? Your original message made it a little unclear, so I wanted to make sure

[TheSequence]

Hello!! @Turtur
I would be really grateful if you review my work. I've updated upto 6 episodes, I've subbed to you so I shall review your work whenever I get the time hope you do not mind
Here's the link:

Read THE REFLECTIONS | Tapas Web Community