"Now how do I do this magic again?" I grabbed the remote control and pressed the bright cyan button "Oh magical black mirror, show me the last thing Ozwald was scraying!!!" after a few notes the mirror turned on and said "Opening viewflix and played Zoofice episode one"
For Psychoborg, my favourite moment is between these two archenemies who were forced by circumstance to work together in order to escape the catacombs beneath the ground.
In MK's Frankenstein (the novel) in chapter 1, Igor has just given a kid an injection and she is not handling it well. To calm her down, he frantically searches their box of lollipops for a very fancy one shaped like a heart with a bow and it calms her down instantly.
From "Every Day is Beautiful With You", a book about drag queens in Tokyo. Darla is the "mother" of this drag queen group. He is 70+ years old and has been in the game for a long, long time. This is the story of how the narrator, a relative greenhorn in the world of drag, first saw Darla on stage.
-Darla had come out onto the stage in a giant white chicken suit. "I am a chicken," he'd announced dramatically into his microphone. "Not all song birds are canaries, you know. Sometimes they are chickens. You might say, 'hey, that's not drag! I paid to see a drag show! I want my money back! Hey!'"
We were all dying laughing at this point, because what the hell was happening?
He went on without missing a breath. "Well, this is drag! All chickens are girls! I don't care that I'm hiding a rooster in here! But, 'oh, Darla, this is wrong! This is wrong! What can a chicken sing?!' Well, aren't you the judgey one?! A chicken can do anything, just like a canary! Don't give canaries all the credit for singing, you bird racist!" He'd paused so seriously in the moment, then said with a deep voice drop, "we now interrupt your scheduled programming for the rooster within. I'm very high right now."
I laughed so hard I folded over into my lap with my hands over my face, completely helpless. And it just went on from there. I'd laughed so hard that I'd cried, wiping my tears with both hands the whole show. He'd even sang songs about chickens, popular things with chicken replaced lyrics. There was even a metal song with the rooster within doing the death vocals and headbanging. Then the chicken started gushing about how she wanted Donald Duck to be her boyfriend, and that we shouldn't discriminate about love between ducks and chickens, because that was once again racist. He'd then called Daisy Duck something I couldn't repeat, but let's just say she was a homewrecker and serial dream killer."
I have some funny moments, but this is the most memorable. It's the MC explaining how he gets those scars from the Mountain Hippo Lion but although it's true, his handling of the beast seems too fictional. Leaving one amazed, and the other realizing the BS.
Unfortunately there is currently not a ton of comedy in my story, though I do write straight-up comedy as well, so here's one of the funnier moments. One of my readers said it made them lol:
“Can we try those chocolates now?” He asks abruptly, pushing his hair back, “I haven’t had anything but cafeteria food in ages and I’m dying for something that doesn’t taste like boxed pudding and gelatine.”
I hurry to get the box out of my bag and undo the ribbon. Something, maybe a slight movement, maybe a change in his breathing makes me hesitate for a second. I don’t look up, but I become aware that he’s watching me, feel his dark eyes tracing my motions as I remove the velveteen lid with some effort.
At the edge of my peripheral, I can see his expression - too, intent - I try to pretend I don’t, making a show of selecting a bonbon with two fingers, unreasonably embarrassed. My face flashes red and white like a siren.
I’ve taken one bite when Kattar scares me half to death - saying suddenly - “Wait! Is that the goober nougat?! I want that one!”
“I already took a bite out of it,” I stammer, somewhere between annoyed and disconcerted.
“Don’t care.”
I surrender the half-eaten bonbon but feel the need to add, as a last, exasperated complaint “It’s just a glorified peanut butter cup.”
Kattar smiles impishly, self-satisfied, a brilliant flush blooming in his cheeks as he pops the bonbon into his mouth, watching my face the whole time.
I shake my head and select another, rolling it over at my fingertips. I lock eyes with him. That same expression. I try to meet his gaze - ask nonchalantly, jokingly:
“Am I allowed to eat this one?
He smiles his roguish grin, and any attempt at maintaining my heart rate evaporates.
His eyes flash, taunting me,
“We’ll see.”
Gotta love coworkers 
Thompson rolled his eyes as he drew himself from the host stand and closer for Conri to get a better look at his pink wavy hair. It was combed to perfection.
"I'm NOT sorry to report that its actually strawberry pink." smirking triumphantly with his response "Anna thought it look good and I have to strongly agree. I do look good; she is an expert after all."
"Anna is five and enjoys anything pink." Conri retorted and immediately ran his hand through Thompson's hair, returning it to its original messy fluff like state.
Thompson was left with his jaw dramatically dropped. "I can not believe you just did THAT!"
Playfully shouldering past Conri, his wider frame rushing to the back of house to his employee locker. Conri enjoyed his job and it was mostly because of his coworkers and the free coffee, but mostly his coworkers. He made his way to the back, passing the seating areas and noting that the chairs were already set, the tables cleaned, the curtain to the bay windows had been drawn and the speakers echoed softly with instrumental tunes. Taking in the ambience of his safe space before entering the noisier backrooms where he'd find Thompson fixing his hair and possibly plotting revenge.
"There! There is the culprit!" Thompson shouted, thrusting his comb accusingly in Conri's direction as he entered.
Eli's tired sunken eyes gave glance then a shrug before returning to their school books, their straight blond hair was tied back in a bun to avoid disrupting their focus. The dwarf chef, Gwendolyn, didn't take her attention away from the tables of prep she'd been working on since the early morning. Her gruff voice was her only indication that she was paying some attention.
From Chapter 3 of NULLED:
From "French Cup"! A comedy about drag queens in Tokyo who are defending their queer neighborhood from Karens who are trying to gentrify it and the ensuing war. This excerpt is from the chapter title "Drag Queens in the Country", in which the queens acquire a baby goat from someone they know and are tasked with bringing it back to the farm it came from. They're currently in the car in this scene, going toward the farm.
"I'm hungry, is anyone else hungry?" Hanako was already turning the car.
"What? No!" Nikki immediately protested. "There's a goat in the car! It's only a matter of time until it has to go to the bathroom!"
The blazing yellow arches of a McDonald's loomed before us, coming closer.
"A goat in a McDonald's drive thru," Kazuya said quietly to himself. He tsked. "Well, now I've seen everything. What do goats eat? Can we give it a chicken nugget?"
"They're vegetarians, darling," Hanako cooed, obviously pleased. He pulled into the drive thru behind a car.
"A salad?" Kazuya asked, adorably tilting his head.
"It's too young, honey."
The intercom crackled to life. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
At that exact moment, probably due to the scare of the sudden voice, the goat started wiggling and bleating loudly, wildly unhappy.
"Oh, oh!" Kazuya gasped, trying to regain control as it kicked its legs out. Nikki tried to calm it by covering its face, but that panicked it further. "It's not a bird, Nikki! Stop covering its face!" Kazuya gasped hugely, wrenching the terrified goat away from him.
"Hello, I'd like to order," Hanako said as if this were the most normal thing in the world.
"Ooh, get me chicken nuggets," Chidori gasped, leaning on his arm.
"Bleeeeh, beeeeh, beeeeh," the goat replied.
"Um," the woman on the other end of the intercom hesitated. "Can you um, turn down your radio? I can't hear you."
"We can't, darling," Hanako grinned in the rearview mirror.
"What is that?" She asked, hesitating further. "Uh- um... It sounds like a goat?"
"It's not!" Nikki shouted, holding the baby goat's legs so it wouldn't hit him. It was massively struggling.
Shannon’s office is arranged differently than usual when I arrive around noon, on Wednesday morning. For one thing, there’s a copy of my white lion piece, “Snow,” on an easel beside what looks a lot like a black high chair, the kind directors sit in for interviews.
“Excuse me, Mr. Man,” I nag, hands on my hips, as he comes in sipping a cup of coffee, “but how exactly do you expect me to get up there in pumps?”
“Well, there are two or three ways.” He smirks, setting the cup down on his desk, and wiping the condensation onto his cable-knit sweater. “I can put my hands together and help you step up or you can take the heels off and climb up like a five-year-old in Mickey Dees play place.”
I roll my eyes.
“First of all, that’s only two ways, and I’m pretty sure my shoes would stab straight through your palms if we tried the first one, and you’d have to spend the rest of the day looking like Christ.”
“Just take the shoes off and I’ll help you put them back on once you’re seated.”
I shake my head, but step out of the heels, and climb up onto the chair.
As Shannon slides the right shoe back onto my dangling foot he quips:
“If the magic slipper fits…”
“Hah.”
“It works! We won’t have to remove any toes.”
Things have been getting serious in my story as of late, but I still like to poke fun at Max.
He only showed up in Chapter 3 and a little in 4 and 12, so I was worried that people would forget who he is.
So now it's canon that people keep forgetting him, or at least Kukui is doing on purpose because it ticks him off.
When my main lead couldn't accept his fate and went delulu for a while so a god's child have to literally slap him back to reality.
The scene by the way:
“No this is all a dream!” I blurted out. “Me a guardian? I'm just dreaming right now because I killed 27 people in one go earlier! Yes that's right I was hungry and didn't have lunch and dinner, and went straight home! Yes these are just hallucinations from hunger!”
Everything happened rapidly, but I could feel the right side of my face burning. I gazed up to see who it was, and it was Orion who brought me into senses, or so I thought. Maybe I fell down from the bed? But why am I still not awake if I fell down from the bed?
“Excuse me, my hand slipped. Was the slap real enough for you Prince Damian?” Orion marveled at me. “Would you want another slap at the other side? Or do you fancy a go with this sword sliding through you?”
Kat is lying propped up against the couch pillows playing on his Gameboy in a state of absolute zombification when I open the front door.
It takes a second for his eyes to unglue themselves from the screen, his gaze seeming to move through water as he glances up at me. Then his eyebrows knit together, his expression a canvas of mingled horror and disgust in mild shades of disbelief.
“Nu-uh…”
I can’t help but start laughing.
“Is that a plaid tee-shirt dress? Where do you even find this stuff? Why did you change out of the black dress?”
“Just wanted to,” I say teasingly, pushing my hair back. “Why? Why are you so stuck on the black one anyway?”
He manages to keep his expression impassive and disinterested, as he says flatly, “When you only have two tolerable dresses in your entire wardrobe, I think it’s only natural for me to try to mitigate the suffering you inflict on my eyes.”
Hmm.
Not even the faintest vestige of embarrassment, color, or discomfiture shows on his face, and for some strange reason that bugs me - like an insistent light drizzle drumming on my psyche at 100 bpm.
What is with you, you little creep?
Taking the scrunchie off my wrist, I pile my hair up onto the top of my head and adjust the sleeve of the dress.
“That’s better.” I smirk, “My hair got in the way of the embroidery. Check it out, there are these little flowers around the sleeves.”
His mouth opens with an expression that reminds me of a muppet, if a muppet could be gorgeous, looking up at the ceiling like he’s searching for divine intervention.
“I know you’re doing this on purpose,” he raises his eyebrows, pressing against his temples with both fingers, “I know you’re doing this just because you KNOW it’ll make me angry.”
“Why on earth would it make you angry?” I laugh, shoving his shoulder as I plop down on the couch beside him. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head simultaneously.
“Okay, the dress itself doesn’t make me angry. You IN that dress sends me into a blind rage.”
HERE IS FUNNY CONVERSATION FROM VOLKERMORD
Mark - You are a dumbass Hugo, you know nothing about physical training.
Hugo - Guess I am. At least I know more than you about other things.
Mark (smirks) - Seems like the child got some guts.
Hugo (hesitant) - Yeah!!! don't you see my grades in schools. They were always better than you.
Mark - So you are saying you are better than me?
Hugo - Yes! of course.
Liam (Interrupts) - Whats you guys talking about?
Mark to Hugo (Ignoring Liam) - Remember the time when I and Darius told you that our dads fucked our moms so we got born and you said your dad didn’t fucked your mom. You never told us from where you came from.
Liam - hahahhahahahahah………..that's a pretty funny moment you shared. So you guys are childhood friends I guess.
Arthur - Who is Darius?
IF THAT'S THE SAME QUESTION YOU HAVE. READ VOLKERMORD
General synopsis: In 2158, global tensions between Arga and Yuropa push the world to the brink of the Third Territorial War. But before conflict can erupt, an apocalyptic event splits the planet in half, wiping out half of humanity, restricting the alive to go and access the resources on the other side of the blinding light. As the survivors rebuild their lives within the safety of Dome cities, monstrous creatures emerge from the chaos, ravaging everything in their path.
Amidst the destruction and uncertainty, a group of soldiers embarks on a desperate mission. Driven by their noble cause to protect and reclaim what is lost, they confront the terrifying truths of their harsh new reality. Racing against time, these brave souls face unimaginable challenges as they fight to safeguard the remnants of humanity and possibly save the entire world from total annihilation.
A link to your story:
ahh my comic has some pretty funny parts but I haven’t started posting yet- I don’t want to spoil…
