To any readers or artists out there, I'm sharing the prologue of a werewolf comic I've been working on and off on for a while now. The overall story isn't fleshed out right now, but I would like to know from anyone how it reads to you in script form. Is the format too complex for a reader? Do any artists think the panel descriptions are too vague, or not descriptive enough? Id really like to know.
PROLOUGE
PAGE 1
Panel 1—Whole Page
The entire page is black, apart from the epigraph spelled out in white lettering.
“LISTEN TO THEM—THE CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT. WHAT MUSIC THEY MAKE!”
Bram Stoker’s
Dracula
PAGE 2
Panel 1—Panoramic Shot—30% of the page.
Gray clouds cover the sky as rain slashes the Seattle skyline.
FX: Heavy Rain.
Panel 2—High Angle/Long Shot—30% of the page.
We look down on a city street, boarded on both sides by tall buildings. Cars travel up and down the avenue.
FX: Cars honk. Rain patters
Panel 3—Close Up Shot—10% of the page.
The neon sign for the Harpoon Bar & Grill—depicting life preserver, in the middle of which is a smiling orca holding aharpoon—flickers under the rain.
FX: Flickering neon sign.
Panel 4—Wide Shot—30% of the page.
From the POV of the street, we see the façade of the bar and the alley beside. There is a huge commotion coming from within the bar. Shapes in the windows.
FX: Voices coming from the insides are muffled by the walls and the rain.
PAGE 3
Panel 1—Medium shot—30% of the page.
In the alley, a pair of stone steps leads up to an EMPLOYEES AND DELIVERY ONLY entrance.
FX: More commotion is heard from inside, still dubbed out by the rain.
Panel 2—Medium Shot—40% of the page.
The door bursts open and a man with a square head, a long blond ponytail, and a coarse layer of scruff covering his cheeks, comes flying out. A pair of hands can be seen from the doorway on either side of him.
FX: The door opens with a slam.
Panel 3—Close up—30% of the page.
The man skids across the puddled pavement, grunting and groaning as he does.
Voice (off image): And stay out!
FX: The water from the puddle splashes.
PAGE 4
Panel 1—Close Up—20% of the page.
The man gets on his knees, water dripping off his clothes and his long hair.
FX: Rain.
Panel 2—Close up—20% of the page.
The man pulls a clump of hair away from his face, rainwater flying. The man’s drunken state is obvious by the expression on his square face, cheeks covered by a two-day growth.
Man: YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER BUB!!!
Panel 3—Medium Shot—30% of the page.
The man stumbles down the alley, away from the street, toward a parking lot. On either side of him is a dumpster and a trashcan.
Man: Fucking assholes! That bitch was asking for it!
FX: Rain continues to fall.
Panel 4—Wide Shot—30% of the page.
The man emerges on to a parking lot on the backside of the bar where a handful of cars are parked.
Man: They don’t know who they’re messing with!
FX: Rain patters the cars.
PAGE 5
Panel 1—Medium Shot—20% of the page.
The man is still in a huff when a crashing noise is heard from the alley behind him, which is now a black wall of nothingness.
Man: They think they’re better than me?! Think they can—
FX: The rain continues, and we hear the crashing sound.
Panel 2—Close up—20% of the page.
Cringing, an eyebrow crooked, the man spins around, ponytail flying around his shoulder.
Man: What the—?!
Panel 3—Wide shot—40% of the page.
We see nothing in the ally but puddles, the side entrance to the Harpoon, a dumpster, and the source of the noise, the fallen trash can.
FX: Rain sprinkles on the trashcan and dumpster.
Panel 4—Close Up—20% of the page.
The man turns around and continues to walk away, grumbling to himself.
Man: Fuckin’ cats!
PAGE 6
Panel 1—Low Angle/Medium Shot—15% of the page.
Half the page is black, representing the alley, while on the other half the man continues to walk away.
Panel 2—Low Angle/Medium Shot—15% of the page.
Unknown to the man, a furry, clawed hand, silhouetted, detaches from the darkness, coupled by a deep growl.
FX: The figure growls.
Panel 3—Close Up—15% of the page.
The man spins around shouting, hair whipping.
Man: You fuckin’ shits! Mess with me and I’ll rip your—
Panel 4—Extreme Close Up—15% of the page.
The man’s eyes widen with shock, suddenly sober.
Panel 5—Wide Shot—40% of the page.
Four inhuman figures stand scattered across the alleyway, their eyes piercing in the dark. Two figures lean against opposite walls, another is perched on the dumpster, and the fourth crouched low to the ground near the fallen trashcan.
PAGE 7
Panel 1—Close Up—20% of the page.
Fear plagues the man’s face.
Panel 2—Close Up—20% of the page.
From the side, we watch him as he begins to back away.
Panel 3—Wide Shot—60% of the page.
But he doesn’t make it far when we see a massive fifth figure standing behind him.
PAGE 8
Panel 1—Over the Shoulder—25% of the page.
Looking over the creature’s shoulder, the man looks up at it, panicking.
Panel 2—Close Up—20% of the page
The creature peels it’s lips back, revealing an arsenal of teeth.
Panel 3—Close Up—20% of the page.
The creature raises its clawed hand.
Panel 4—Extreme Close Up—15% of the page.
The man’s pupils dilate.
Panel 5—Close Up—20% of the page.
From the man’s POV, the creature brings it’s claws down on us. The man begins to scream.
Man (off image): AAAAHHHH!
PAGE 9
Panel 1—Whole Page
The man’s scream’s from the last page carry over to this one, seen at the top half, before being cut off. The bottom half of the page is splattered with blood.