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unknown_user
May '20

This topic:

was just closed by ridiculous reason:

Dear @ratique , @DokiDokiTsuna clearly described the reasons why she doesn't want to use suicide prevention hotline, and why she can't reach out to her family and friends.

She wanted to discuss a question, seemingly important for her, in the place, where she accustomed to hang out, and where many people are familiar to her. She didn't offend anyone. And you answered to her like this.

At her place, I'd perceive these words like a slap in the face.

If you think that it's not the right forum to discuss thoughts aside of art or writing, then be consistent and delete the whole "Misc" category altogether. And write it in the forum rules clearly, which topics are forbidden to discuss.

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    May '20

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    May '20
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unknown_user
May '20

I sincerely didn't expect such level of toxicity here.
I thought we, creative people, are supposed to support each other in this place.

Sorry if I was naive or something. You can say that it's none of my business, ban me 1000 times, if you want. But I can't just sit and look at it.

byelacey
May '20
1

It could be that Ratique decided the thread was going nowhere helpful--I know personally I saw it and couldn't bring myself to read. It could have upset others. Maybe it got reported. Whatever happened, Ratique had to make a call. That isn't being toxic.

Flug
May '20

Maybe someone got cold feet and didnt care if it was helpful or not, as long as it was not dangerous for them.

NickRowler
May '20

I think the topic was a bit too dark for a webcomic forum, especially one that also has user who are under 18. Even tho I found the mod's comment a bit insensitive to the situation, I think they are also in their right to close the topic.

Cavechan
May '20

There have been many of these threads being made and I am not trying to offend or belittle anyone or their problems, but this is first and foremost a webcomics community created by a for-profit company. I feel there are better places to have these types of conversations and they could potentially put Tapas at risk legally speaking if someone were to give bad advice that led to harm.

Also, random people on forums are not healthcare professionals. I would venture a guess to say that probably nobody or very few people here are equipped with proper training to offer advice. I just don't see there being much new help that a professional isn't already able to provide, beyond the scope of just needing somewhere to vent or someone to talk to. In those cases though, it's probably better to find a more casual forum or discord server and find people to connect with.

I understand what it's like. When I was in college, I was in a poor situation that led me to being very lonely and depressed and having no one to turn to. So I ended up venting much of it on my LiveJournal. It helped a bit. I would recommend finding a place like that where it can be personal with a close group of online/IRL friends that would like to listen.

EDIT: I also want to say my inbox is always open if anyone wants someone to talk to. I'm not great at giving advice, but I am willing to listen and am up for offering internet hugs or the like.

TAMAnnoyingThe Cow
May '20
NickRowler

I think that is the exact problem- not that it got shut down but HOW the mod responded- it very very tasteless considering the entire point of the OP

its still a bit sad that it would get shut down condering she put the warning like a responsible person but the way it was shut down would rub a lot of people the wrong way

vothnthorvaldson
May '20

This is why I don't post any long messages on this forum anymore, or any message that took me long to write.
Now, I'm here to keep in touch with people, not to discuss, which I won't do if I'm constantly afraid of being shut up.

Cavechan
May '20

Ratique is a forum mod, not a healthcare professional. Personally, I think the way she responded was fine. She is in no way obligated to speak on the topic and I am sure she is not authorized in any way to give personal advice. Likely, again due to liability, those lines are the most she can say. She has said them in other similar threads as well.

unknown_user
May '20
byelacey

Sounds like valid reasons. Too bad, these versions comes in blatant contradiction with Ratique's explanation why it is closed. Re-read her explanation. This is what super-toxic. It is almost mocking, in the context of Doki's words.

byelacey
May '20

Completely removed from the situation, I see a neutral response. I don't believe Ratique meant any offense by it.

TAMAnnoyingThe Cow
May '20

sometimes an apology is valid even if you don't mean any harm or offence.

unknown_user
May '20
Cavechan

Yeah. Of course. Let's be cowards and hurt people because of petty fear of very-very-small probability of legal problems.

In that topic she clearly explained her hesitations, why she doesn't discuss it with professionals.

DOKI TOLD THAT SHE CAN'T REFER TO HOTLINE, NEITHER TO HER FAMILY, BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE HER, NEITHER TO FRIENDS. AFTER IT, RATIQUE TOLD EXACTLY "REFER TO HOTLINE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS". DON'T YOU SEE MOCKING HERE?

ARE YOU BLIND?

vothnthorvaldson
May '20

I don't see mocking, but I see insensitivity.
And probably a difficulty to put herself in someone else's shoes, although it could be because she did not read all the messages before closing the topic. I strongly dislike Ratique's moderation style, but I don't think she was mocking anyone.

ratiqueDirector, Community (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
May '20

Hola,

unfortunately this forum isn't the best place for topics such as self-harm and suicide. We have always closed these kinds of topics in the past and will likely continue to do so. I appreciate the concern and apologize for this to be upsetting.

I'm actually very concerned about the well being of our creators, even if my replies sound otherwise. As mentioned above I'm not comfortable with providing my opinion in such a dangerous topic. Please try not to add tone or intention to my words.

DokiDokiTsuna
May '20

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED I WAS ONLY GONE FOR AN HOUR

I, uh, just wanted to say that I hope people aren't up in arms about this for my sake...like I said before, I wasn't actually depressed when I started the topic; I was just musing. I do think it's an important thing to think about and discuss, but it that's all it was meant to be, not a cry for help or anything.

In the context of it belonging on the forum or not...I, too, was pretty surprised that it got closed. '_' I've seen other topics (like actual super-depressing vent-threads) breaching similar territory, and I even put a trigger warning in the title; I thought it'd be fine.

But I guess if it's not wanted, it's not wanted...at the very least, it still exists, so you can still read it. Maybe start a topic reframing the issue in a more 'sanitized' light, if you still want to discuss it...?

Jenny-Toons
May '20

A light suggestion:

How about we have the two main people involved speak for themselves?

Because right now, all i see are high emotions and assumptions thrown around.

As a bystander, I prefer to see Doki or Ratique speak instead of an entire thread being made to start a downward spiral. Some of you weren't there for the Bitching Threads.

Edit: See, they responded. No need for all of this.

unknown_user
May '20
ratique

DOKI TOLD THAT SHE CAN'T REFER TO HOTLINE, NEITHER TO HER FAMILY, BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE HER, NEITHER TO FRIENDS.
AFTER IT, YOU TOLD EXACTLY "REFER TO HOTLINE, FAMILY AND FRIENDS".

You seriously don't see anything wrong here?

TAMAnnoyingThe Cow
May '20
Jenny-Toons

I mean the problem is >other< people could have been finding some solace and meaning in the thread ^^; So sadly its not JUST doki and Rat who would have passionate emotions about it. Tho im happy that Rat is available to give us all more clarity on what her intentions where. It at least makes me feel better, even if it might not make everyone feel better