Well, that's quite a good question. I use to want to be a manga artist, but that's not something I want to do anymore. There's so many things to learn including a new language. No way I can do all of that in a reasonable time frame. Then I wanted be a just a comic artist and that's not the case anymore. To be honest the world my main project is based in is one I am super passionate about so I want to continue that. I just want to finish my main comic, and after that write a few books or something based of the same world in a different time frame.
getting better at drawing and getting this story out of my system.
maybe i wanna be recognised too (and earn money) but atm I don't feel like I'm good enough for that... like mentally. I don't wanna fall into that "let the readers win" category where I discard some plot points I want because it may upset people or something. So i'm trying to mature lol. I don't wanna half ass the story and add so much fillers and scenes that don't make sense.
I wanted people to see the beauty in this story, the way I see it. The characters are beautiful, their relationships are beautiful, and I want other people to see that. And to that end, I want the story to be the best it can be.
I don't like how vague that is. Like, if 1 person Sees The Beauty™, does that mean I've reached my goal? 10 people? 100 people? ...? ? ?
To be honest I really don't think I have a goal...
I started it because I've always loved comics and as a way for me to get story ideas out of my head.
I really didn't expect to still be doing it 4 years in. While so much has changed in my life during this time the comic has been this consistent thing that kept me grounded and it's become one of the few things I really enjoy working on right now.
While I make a good amount on the side from patreon/webtoon/etc it's nowhere near a living wage and for the most part I've just been making the comic because it sparks joy lol.
I'm in the odd duck boat. I don't really have a huge long-term goal, but that's because I'm very shy and apprehensive about seeing if things can "work out" or not. While I'd like my novel and stories to make enough to at least pay for themselves, I'm not too sure how realistic of a goal that is. Right now I'm focusing on smaller goals - make things for practical objects for RedBubble and Zazzle, maybe try making some fabrics of my own (waiting for that to come in the mail), and maybe just apply to a few of the conventions to see if I get in to sell. It's definitely more of a brick-and-mortar look at the problem but another problem I feel I'm facing is I don't like the idea, or I don't have a thing to, lock behind a paywall like Patreon. I've actually decided to move entirely away from Patreon and instead will accept donations strictly as donations on Ko-Fi. Since I have a new laptop I'm looking at what kind of software I need to do some videos to record for youtube - not to become youtube famous, but to get my stuff out there into a different realm. I saw a girl from almost 8 years ago posting her art and v-logs together and she'd narrate it kind of like it was a journal. I don't plan to go that same route, but maybe narrate it and talk about the stories I'm working on, and why that inspired this xyz art. Maybe. I'm not sure. The cost of a webcam + mic that are decent kind of terrifies me hahahaha
I guess long term my goal is to have it make money to pay for itself, but overall I just want to be able to share my writings with people. I don't think my art is that great- and haven't for YEARS- but that's why I don't "work" in comics. I can barely do story boards!
A lot of "this" is just what you plan to invest your time and money, and where. I have a tiny house so I can only invest in so much. If I want to invest in something more, like a more dedicated drawing space, I'd likely have to rent a studio and that's income I just flatout don't have right now.
I try to work in a slightly higher standard than my own abilities. Even though it takes forever.. I learn more that way. And I think it also keeps me from wanting to redo the story from the beginning again cause art can drastically improve overtime to where you eventually cringe at your first episodes, haha. Because it takes longer, I don't have a schedule... but it keeps me mentally at ease. I simply just try for the best version of my story as I can possibly produce, without ever thinking I have to finish it one day.
The present is what matters to me, the progress of making the comic should somewhat be more enjoyable than stressful. Basically, just draw and learn, no real goal of wanting to get featured or something. Frankly I don't have the talent and that's not being modest here.
Ultimate Payoff: An animated series with my characters...or even a video game. That is like pipe-dream level of Payoff.
Semi-Ultimate Payoff: Being a published Light-novelist O.O
More realistically Payoff: Having enough of a audience to make my art and writing passion a successful side-hustle. It won't necessarily be a full job replacement and I will still need to continue being a CodeMonkey during the day, but having a successful stream of people wanting my work, enjoying the commissions I make for them, enjoying my stories and giving me sweet sweet validation.
I want people to enjoy what I made, and i want that work to endear them to me. I think a lot of it comes with loneliness, that first gave me this loop of making fictional people who have endless conversations in my head, and then made me want to put those conversations down in a medium.
I make up stories because I can't help it. I've got an urge to tell them also because there's this big part of my life that's otherwise only mine.
I want to make a living our of art, wether it is comics, or character design, or storyboard for animation. My goal right now is to find a job related to anything that involves drawing drawing and more drawing.
Regarding comics, I will also treat it as a hobby for now. But a serious hobby, so to speak. I want to begin creating something just for the sake of learning, but I also like quality in the stuff I do so I'll take it pretty seriously, even if it's just for practicing, and even if I progress slowly due to work. Right now, just finishing a small story with a few chapters sounds like a big enough of a challenge, so I'll start there and then decide if I want to go deeper into "comic author" territory.
I mainly just wanna make things, but like... goal-wise, I do kinda wish that someday I'll be able to supplement my income enough with my art that I could finally move down to a part-time day job and still be okay. Just so I could have more time to draw... x_x Currently I'm stuck in a small city that doesn't really have any art-related jobs at all, with no money to move and find something that I could actually use my skills for, so... Really, a good amount of supplementary art-based income is the best I could ever hope for.
Telling a story that stirs you up in the head and heart. That's the reward. That's the goal. I want to make people really think about how they think and what the nuances of their feelings mean. I want them to discover something about life they hadn't before--something fundamental and complex. I want them to be surprised and shaken. And I want them to always find something new with each return to my story. Something in the metanarrative they didn't notice before.
I guess it boils down to this:
I want them to walk away with a new tool for analyzing reality.
Mallory Bash hasn't gotten there just yet, but it's about to really start getting there. It's going to get to the depths of some of these characters.
Every sketch and comic I've made was borne out of the terror of mortality.
The notion that the things I do will be for naught paralyses me with fear--because of that, I make these desperate attempts at story-telling in the hopes that it will help people to reflect on their own lives and do good for themselves and those around them.
At the same time though, I'm only making those kinds of stories because I'm too lazy to enact goodness myself. I'm already in a metaphorical pit of sorts, and there's probably no hope of getting out, but I want to at least warn people and direct them towards the right direction.
With that in mind, read my stuff--it's really starting to get wild.
Other than trying to make a profit off of it I would really just want to finish it. Even if I never really get a big following or anything I would love it if I could at least finish what I started with it. It’s why I plan to eventually hire more artists to produce more pages, but for now the simple goal is just to finish the first volume (just hit the half way mark recently).
I guess probably is probably some sort of a print in the future. I've always loved graphic novels as a kid, BONE being one of my biggest inspirations, and seeing those at book fairs excited me as a kid. So, the idea that one day something I've made hopefully inspiring someone else to draw sounds pretty neat! Making a living off of what I do would be pristine, but I'm not gonna immediately presume that that will happen!