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Jan 9

Hi there everyone. I created this Indie Comic, which at the core is about how we deal with serious, unexpected consequences.

It weaves a bit of Sci-Fi Fantasy, and Drama, with both light hearted and difficult situations. I'd like to know what you think? If you can, give it a review.

Specifically, I want to share with you, Chapter 3, my latest, which sets up for the main climax for Chapter 4, which I'm preparing to create, and I think will really affect people.

Don't read chapter 1 and 2, as it's not understandable until Chapter 4 is ready.

I would like to know:

1) What do you think of the artwork? Also, can you see the American and Manga influences?

2) What did you think of the story?

3) What do you think of the characters?

4) Do you think it's worth continuing?

5) Would you share it with friends? Why or why not?

6) What can I improve?

7) What have I done correctly and should continue to do?

8) If you're interested in Chapter 4, please email me so I can give you more info on what's to come, and you can see how I apply your feedback. I'll even add things that you'd like to recommend, in the story, if you feel it will make it more impactful..

And now, Chapter 3: https://tapas.io/episode/298036917

Also, some art from the comic:

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    Jan 9
  • last reply

    Jan 10
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I remember you asking for feedback before and I am going to say about the same thing.

Your comic comes off as very preachy in a way that’s not really pleasant to read. Your female characters don’t feel like actual fleshed out characters. Like they just seem like stereotypes there to just spout buzzwords.

I am also a bit concerned that your version of feminism aligns very closely to the feminization kink. Not trying to accuse you of anything bud, but it comes off a bit sus.

Hello NickRowler. Greet to hear from you again!

About your feedback that you gave before, which was for Chapter 1 and 2. You did a great job pointing out the various issues. After much thought, I came up with solutions which you'll be able to see in Chapter 4. The female characters are more fleshed out, not stereotypical, and it cleans up any issues Chapter 1 and 2 had. So, my thanks to you and others on that.

For this review, I'm looking for feedback on Chapter 3. You mentioned that you were concerned with the Feminism in it. Based on your previous feedback, I made sure to focus very little on Feminism, and instead, just show that Metheena's concern is that she just wants everyone to get along. The rest of the book focuses on the Sci-Fi / Fantasy elements of Aurikato's story, and the mysteries behind Sienna's character. Any thoughts on this.

Thanks NickRowler!
-M

I do think you put a lot of time and effort into the art. But I personally find the teeth to be a bit unsettling.

Even if some of the art is well done, I have a hard time getting invested in the series because of it feeling very preachy.

Agreed. After talking with you and a few others on the preachy issue the last time we talked, my new plan is that by Chapter 5, the series should feel far less preachy, and more engaging. By Chapter 10 definitely so. I think there's still time to make this series as a whole, feel right.

Chapter 3 is my first attempt at making that change, and so it mostly focuses on the more Sci-FI / Fantasy aspects of the series. There's still some areas of preachiness that I'm learning how to get better at not doing. It's tricky for me because I enjoy stories where characters have debates here and there, then something fantastical happens and boom, the mystery begins!

As I await for more feedback from you hard working peers, just want to say that I will continue to do my very best to earn respect from you all. If one is serious about bettering themselves as writers, visual artists, and as individuals, we should all be able to see that in the progression of ones work.

I hope that as people give this series a chance, they will be able to experience the progress, and maybe even this projects perseverance can help you to persevere with your own works.

Chapter 3 is my first attempt to make the change. If you can, take a look, and let me know what you think Cheers!