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Jul 2016

Your senpai notices you, but she notices you when you are failing at sports and judges you immensely.

I wish prequel would update more.

Granted. Prequel updates everyday with instagram photos of what the creator ate for breakfast.

I wish I had a tiny dinosaur.

The tiny dinosaur slowly eats away at you bit by bit every second of your life, and you can't stop it.

I wish for a corrupted wish

Granted, but your body's instinct to sneeze still remains. You try to sneeze to relieve the pressure but you simply can't. You live with the worst sinus pain imaginable.

I wish Pokemon was real.

The Pokemon, tired of animal abuse revolt and enslave mankind. You spend the rest of your life in a pokeball.

I wish for a cookie for my clever response

Granted, but now you can only play the most terrible and buggiest games ever created.

I wish I could meet the other me from a parallel universe.

Granted but other you is psychotic murderer who kills you with his sight and hangs your face on his wall of other selves.

I wish for more hours in the day.

Granted, the earth stops spinning when its noon where you live and falls into the sun.

I wish Neil DeGrasse Tyson was my dad.

(Oh man, me too.)
Granted, but after becoming your dad, Neil is suddenly whisked away to a parallel dimension to be the host of Nova Science Life in the Multiverse Now and is never heard from again.

I wish making lineart wasn't so tedious.

You get the flower but it attracts all the bees and the bees sting you because you are in possession of the greatest flower in all of bee kind.

I wish for cats.
just cats
only cats
the world is cats

Granted, but there isn't a litterbox big enough to contain the stench.

I wish healthy food tasted like junk food.

Granted but you overeat healthy food and your body suddenly reacts to it, leaving you allergic to anything healthy.

I wish aliens would actually visit, announce their arrival and turn out to be friendly

Granted but the aliens turn out to be too friendly and start to mate with humans. You were the first... victim...

I wish I was evil.