But I don't have a penis!
Wish granted, but it's the nasty, separated, watery kind of ketchup and no amount of shaking your hands will thicken it.
I wish I never had to sleep again.
You gain the powers of The Flash and not you are the fastest typist alive.
I wish for Curry with Rice.
You have some curry and rice but it's extremely spicy and gives you diarrhea.
I wish I could turn into a dragon
You are a dragon, but your house is to small to acomodate dragons and you can't leave through the door or windows and you certainly don't want to damage any of your stuff.
I wish for a Stay Puff Marshmallow Man that can't detroy New York.
You become the Stay Puff Marshmallow man, and in New York thousands swarm upon you to feast upon your mallowed flesh.
I wish I wasn't so emotional.
You turn into a rock. Goodbye emotions!
(This part is hard - I'm really superstitious and don't like wishing argh)
If only I could fly!
Alright! But you're Limp Bizkit now, I'm terribly sorry.
I wish Mad Max: Fury Road wins best picture at the Oscars.
Max Max: Fury Road doesn't win the award for best picture, instead, the director is handed a picture of the reward they sadly missed out on...
.... It was a really nice picture, though.
I wish for world peace! What could go wrong!?
The world becomes technologically stagnant because there's no drive to innovate and develop new technologies now that there's no wars; and hundreds of thousands of people go unemployed now that their field of business (war, weaponry, national security, etc) no longer exists. A peaceful status quo is acheieved: no more wars, but no more change, either. For the rest of humanity's history, this, our current social landscape, will be the norm, no matter its pros or cons. We will never go to Mars or discover interstelllar voyage. We will never develop new means of communication. We will never truly explore the potential of clean, alternative systems; making us terminally dependant on oil. Global warming will never stop, and we'll have to bid farewell to a few countries as the years go by. The Maldives, the Seychelles, and a huge chunk of the Netherlands, all gone. Animals go extinct with the climate change. Diseases like the AIDS, Cancer, and the Common Flu will never have a cure now that they're simply seen as "manageable". Religion will eventually lose value, but soon the notion of culture and folklore will do the same, and so will the idea of "nation" and "nationality". There will be no borders, but there will be no sense of belonging, either. We'll live as we currently are for a couple centuries before we lose our own identity -- the human texture across the world. We will be as flavorless as the air, and like it, and in time, we'll be gone with the wind, without ever leaving a trace of our existence for whoever finds us in the vast emptiness of space.
I wish for a puppy.
The world's economy collapes due to the pies becoming free and losing their value.
I wish for the sun to be blue.
Granted, because of the change in light, all plants lose their ability to photosynthesize and die. As does everything else.
I wish pets were allowed in my dorm.
ahaha, I actually looked up whether plants can photosynthesize blue light and they can, but anyway...
With pets in the dorm, college students, who are already too lazy to wash their own dishes and do laundry, let the place go to hell. The dorms become condemned as pets run wild and their urine and fecal matter cover the floors.
I wish people would use their turn signals.
Ohh people use their turn signals alright; they use it all the time! The indicate right when they're turning left, indicate left when they're not turning and indicate up when they're turning right and I don't even know how people can indicate up! 
I wish for an extra water molecule on the floor c:
@joannekwan People start using their turn signals. They use it on the right times and every other time as well. Turning? Turn signal. Going straight? Turn signal. Going backwards? Turn signal. Emergency stop? Turn signal! This leads to some traffic accidents and eventually car's batteries run out faster. People need to buy batteries with more frequency and soon battery re-sellers are successful but an economic crisis strikes common citizens and the economic system suffers a collapse because they can't buy batteries anymore. Thus thei can't drive anymore nor they have money for bus rides. People lose their jobs and all the world enters in recession, struggling in chaos an a distopia is born.
@crapshoot Congratulations! Your extra water molecule was enough to support a fungus that grew and destroyed the whole floor. Now good luck raising money for fixing your house.
I wish I could draw comics faster, with better quality and not getting tired.