Detailed feedback to the first 10 posts (Comics only)

So the first one might be a little messy, I hope you don't mind.

Feedback: “Black Belt Society” First come first serve

NAME and SYNOPSIS:

Name sounds catchy, the first impression taking into account the cover art as well, would be a fantasy martial art comic. The artstyle of the first chapter, or prologue clashes very hard with that initial impression tho by introducing glowing fantasy beings in saturated colors.

The Synopsis suggests a traditional hero's journey, I hope that holds true, I love those types of plot structure.

ART:

Ima start by noting what the initial impression is like and try to give comments on notable changes and improvements throughout the comic … or the lack thereof if that’s the case.
The progress of the artist during their run is part of the greater plot, if you catch my drift.

The art style is impressive. mistakes in proportions keeping themselves to a minimum. The angularity of your character designs would surely look impressive in action and during fighting scenes but at first glance it makes it hard to distinguish between them since they are almost glued to the screen during your first chapter especially.
Zooming that far in on the action can actually negatively affect visual clarity and make it necessary to draw more details, which would defeat the purpose of a simpler style to begin with.

I like a badass closeup of some dude kicking serious ass as much as the next guy but if there's too many panels in a row I can’t help but feel somewhat claustrophobic.

Around Chapter 2 you seem to have desaturated everything quite a bit which really helps people prone to get a headache from seeing very bright, very saturated colours for a prolonged period of time.

On one of the characters there seems to be a toon link thing going on character design wise which really benefits from your personal approach to lineart and shading. Ironically I think he works best because he has the least amount of angulatity in his design

Chapter 3 gets a bit warmer in color scheme again. Paired with this crowded close up panel composition the characters almost look like they are popping out of the screen, hitting their heads on the panel borders from time to time, no offense. I get that this one had a sort of fire theme going. Towards the end of this chapter is also the first time the camera zooms out enough for me to enjoy the action. Have a cookie.

Overall I can say maybe try to differentiate the backgrounds from the characters a bit more. Desaturate everything and reduce luminosity, so people in dark rooms don’t cook their eyes.
Use chapter 2 as a guideline and just go a little further.

Try drawing all the characters to a similar level of detail as the toon link guy from a design standpoint. Just a tad more curves here or there. I think the Halloween episode was quite on point in that regard.

On the rare occasions I was able to perceive a background existing within my peripheral vision it looked … ok. The cartoony style is very forgiving when it comes to those things. There were some good ones in there as well. Either good construction work or well done research on the artists part.

STORY:

Oh boy, where do I begin? So from what I could gather 3 chicks in heaven (reminding me more of Steven Universe rather than what I assume are supposed to be Goddesses?) lost one of their own.

At first they’re almost like:
“Welp that’s it, can’t find her, too important, pull the plug boys, was a nice run. Let’s give creation another go.”
Which personally, I can sympathize with but suddenly they pussy out and are like:
“Ok fine, let's figure this out, like responsible omnipotent beings, jeez.”
So they go for the next best thing and want to let super buff martial artists, which I assume, are known for their abilities to track down people? I’ll take it. Suspension of disbelief is still holding strong.

After some lengthy dialogue, I wish I was able to classify as exposition those 3 chosen buff dudes, who I assume already have super powers, gather at some dojo and immediately beat up some mannequins for some reason. Seriously some of those strikes were more than preemptive. When the poor, defenseless automatons finally have the upper hand on the violent intruders some old dude pops up all:
“Haha, you have passed my test, you are worthy of my exposition, hurr durr.”

And thus they sit through his story and get on their merry way to collect the macguffins.

Standard formula, don’t break what ain’t fixable, am I right? I like it.

CHARACTERS:

At first I couldn’t help but wonder if this is supposed to be a story with 3 separate protagonists or if one of them is more special than the others, as I assume it’s supposed to be? Don’t quote me on that one.

I don’t know they all seem to alternate between being passive protagonists and more active ones seemingly at random but maybe eventually, after a big enough sample size I could calculate which one is supposed to fit which archetype or a parody thereof.

For the love of me I’m just a little shy of my fifth re read and I still for the love of me cannot remember any of their names or personalities, so I shall name them thusly:

Tall and Skinny toon link … a.k.a the blind one:
I like him, he seems to be kinda smart … sometimes … I like him

Kinn Crimson … a.k.a the ginger.
Buffer than the others … Also, I think a girl? That name almost stuck with me because it can be used for both genders and the artstyle makes it look as if they might just have enormous pecs instead of medium sized boobs.
I don’t judge, regardless of buff dude vs buff lady, I hope one day they too will grow a personality. I like it.

And last but not least

Girl … The girl.
She has the coolest fighting scene in chapter 3. I like her.

If the characters were under any obligation, besides bragging rights, to follow the plot that literally got mailed to them I was unable to find it. But then again, neither did Frodo. Maybe you’re gonna get there once the backstories have been made clear.

But just in case, for the love of god, don’t let it consist of pure dialogue portrayed trough extreme close ups of their magnificent muscles.

This one's a little shorter. The plot is gonna take some time to develop, since the premise was just barely established in the most recent update, so that section was a little hard to cobble together.

Feedback: “The Purple Ribbon”

NAME and SYNOPSIS:

Name sounds like a novel my grandma would read in her early twenties. No offense at all, she just really likes non fiction and romance thrillers but gave up on them once she discovered soap operas. And that’s the useless fact of the day, I guess.

I’m a great fan of drama in comic form if executed well. But since I read so many of them I guess my standards have somewhat dropped over the years.

ART:

First thing that struck me was the striking resemblance of the main girl with Katara in her underwear from Avatar the last airbender. Nice design I guess.

It appears you are using a single multiply layer for the shading with some slight gradients. Very nice and very efficient way to color your panels. Can just make for some really flat looking characters before one gets used to inking with 3d in mind.

Unfortunately the more realistic the style the more apparent badly placed shadows get and make for some very inconsistent looking anatomy even if sketched out properly.

Speaking of anatomy. Your proportions could really use some work. Atms are quite long sometimes and shoulders kinda … varied … I suppose in your case it’s worth using the Clip studio inbuilt 3D models to mess around a bit. They can also help you ding out where to place shadows if you want to stick to realistic cell shading.

Your understanding of verticality in the scrollable format is picking up real quick tho. The layout of the panels and the size of your text is quite pleasing to the eye and makes for a comfortable reading experience. Make sure you don’t cut the speech bubbles on the side of the gutter tho. Easily fixable in clip by using the text bubble pen instead of the ellipse bubble tool. Also second as a quick circle drawing practice every time you create your text boxes.

I respect the voice to use textured brushes and what is either a good application of blurred photographs as backgrounds or some impressive render. When the backgrounds are done by hand tho it appears to be very inconsistent in terms of perspective. Lighting is surprisingly on point tho.

Maybe use 3D assets for backgrounds or abuse the heck out of vector rulers … and vectors in general while you’re at it. Would definitely improve the anime / avatar stype line art.

Around episode 13 there is a big jump in quality on the hair styles and facial expressions with some better proportions as well. Can still look a bit stiff at points due to the panel composition being unfavourably chosen for the perspective + facial expression combo.. Makes for some nice derpy faces that under certain circumstances I would deem worthy of their own meme, when taken out of context. I’d like to give an honorable mention to mister white bearded balding 12 year old in chapter 14. My sincerest condolences to that guy and his bad genes.

I almost wish you would devote the same amount of time on each character's hairstyles though. Some of them look godlike while others make me question peoples skull shapes.

Around episode 25 people start having actual toes and functioning hands. I suppose now make the eyes across the board a little more … round and less boxy and you got yourself that Avatar fanfiction with none of the bending we all desperately needed.

Overall … I like your shading and your hair. They improved drastically over the course of 30 chapters. So did your hand drawing skills and proportions. Perspective is hard and so is consistency in facial anatomy. But you definitely are hanging in there and improving at a fairly rapid pace.

STORY:

Alrighty then. First things first. Note that the first slave canonically introduced into the story is also the lightest colored person … if that’s not some unintentionally hilarious social commentary I don’t know what is.

I’d call this story: what if that girl from the wholesome “Transported to another world Librarian edition” anime only ever made one invention … and was also a feisty streat kid … in appearance only, so far.

It’s a solid setup for a romance drama with vaguely comedic elements to it in a fairly grounded setting. Can’t help but get some sinister vibes from some of the characters … especially mister good looking white haired rich boy. That dude sketch. I kno he a good boy … paranoia strikes hard on that front. Something about how he treats his servants is very … Machiavellian. Can’t quite place it. Maybe it’s his posture?

Anywho. Not much seems to have happened so far.
Girl knows how to produce a certain die. I don’t know how she did it, at least there wasn’t any visual implication yet.
Rich dude wants to buy exclusive rights off of her and get even richer at her expense. Tale as old as time.

Some of the dialogue is a little grading … but alas … If the art improves this quickly one day it might be some serious eye candy, regardless of how interesting the plot is.

We got a little bit of a glimpse of the protagonists' home private lives.
So far it feels like an extended prologue. Not bad as a start and I can’t help but mention once more. The improvements in the arts quality are pretty huge and are almost their own c-plot.

CHARACTERS:

Your names too shall be butchered, no one gets spared.

Tall lady in Katara cosplay … a.k.a Katalla … I’m so sorry.
She seems nice. Has a family. Apparently knows how to purchase and consume bread … in addition to producing dyes that have unpleasant smells to them. She’s giving me certain tsundere vibes … but the good ones, so that’s a good thing.

(not) villain in glasses … a.k.a Rich boy.
As I said for some reason he strikes me as a nice guy about to go wrong. Something about him screams shrewd businessman with all the resources and nothing to prove. But then again, I might be wrong.

All in all. I think I need to subscribe to this one just to see where this goes from a visual standpoint … The story and characters will likely grow on me as that happens,
At least the characters already have a personality even though they haven’t exactly had the chance to show it yet.

Alright. This one took me forever ... or at least it felt that way.

Feedback: “Frequency Overload”

NAME and SYNOPSIS:

First I read the title and thought to myself: “Hmm sounds cool let me click on … OOOOH GOD my eyes.”
I realize now that it's supposed to be a tv laying on its side but damn does it make for a visual clusterfuck. It kinda looked to me as if a really angry dude is blankly staring at the ceiling holding a notebook tightly … with some creepy thing laying next to him.

But yea. Use some vectors for that thumbnail and give it some love. Maybe make a layer set to screen and one to glow dodge to get that screen effect to pop. I’m pretty sure if you just made the TV square and had it standing there normally it would be more instantly recognizable. Give it some antennas.

The Synopsis was alright I guess. I’m no native speaker myself but I think there was a small grammar error in there somewhere. Or at least one that got mistranslated.
The premise I’m getting from it is that it’s supposed to be some kind of trapped in another universe type story? Maybe? Or some brainwashing stuff maybe? Ah who knows, it’s a mystery aniways.

Then I jumped into the first chapter and oh god I think that’s almost as hard to read as my first one. I’m reading this on a giant screen, zoomed in to 150% and I’m having trouble, now imagine someone on a phone.

ART:

Oh dear lord, I don’t know how to classify this art style. It has something reminiscent of old nineties cartoons made for music videos but with a vaguely nickelodeon / french cartoon vibe. But it’s still volume one right?

Also that paper background texture. I don’t know man. There is something almost intentionally unpleasant in that one. Are you putting that thing onto the canvas before you start drawing? Because either it's playing tricks on my eyes or your characters seem to kinda lean into the pattern a lot which messes with the proportions.

When it comes to perspective, early on I’d say points for effort. Abuse the system using the 3D backgrounds. Quite a bunch of them are free and you can be used as a sort of guideline, you can still overlay your own style on top of it by right clicking the 3D asset after adjusting it to your liking, sort of like using a virtual camera, then selecting LT layer conversion and extracting the lines. After that you can just use the perspective you get as a guide and do your own thing.

Chapter 3 starts with some GIF’s. I like the style. One can do pretty nifty things with those. Makes for some good source of fourth wall breaking.

Hour two in captivity:
The art is improving … so very slowly. The text is still small.
How long are those volumes? At this point this feels either intentional or at least very consistent …. I respect that ….
The little animations from time to time just make me wanna make more content for tapas and use the living crap out of that feature.

Wow, so That was it. All 46 episodes. Man I’m not looking forward to that second read through to be honest. The art got slightly better in a sense that line quality had become more consistent and the tone kinda stayed the same even if it was held together by the surprisingly gritty color scheme due to a dull colour palette and this nauseating paper texture permeating through the whole series.

Got some hope when I saw the fist GIF but it has so far only been used for the rare special effect and once for one pretty sleep transformation / animation. That looked kinda dope.

While the characters designs are actually fairly well done and distinct I can’t say if I can phrase this in any other way than: “Yo art sucks bruh.”

But there’s a good foundation there. You seem to like playing with things like luminosity layers and animations. The colors in themselves were well chosen and they stay very coherent throughout the run, would just be great if it were backed up by some more legit line art.

The text is … way too small. Some panels are pretty tiny but there’s sooo much space left in the gutter. If I’ve learnt something so far from making comics for webtoon it’s that readers are either too lazy or can’t be asked to use landscape mode.

Don’t tell yourself that you have to keep it the same style throughout the entire series. Make one change at a time and your audience will thank you for it.

At least the panel composition would be pretty awesome if there was any semblance of perspective within it.

On the other hand if you took all your panels and then just ditched the side by side ones … maybe made them a little bigger, so they cover more of the screen, you could pull off a cheater transition. Make the whole thing more vertical and it’s at least more legible.

STORY:

I can already see the only advantage of smaller text. More natural sounding conversations, God how much I miss those.

Oh god, do I have to?
Ok … this is actually not so bad.
The writing is believable since it's mostly colloquial language rather than big deep philosophical dialogues.

The kid characters are all good kids and behave like such.
They do normal kid stuff, which is I assume getting into a convenience store and then hanging out at that other kids place, with the troned kid, or the two stoned kids?I don’t know man, one of them had super red eyes but the tall dude looks pretty stoner’ish, maybe a skater? Ah whatever. Quite wholesome so far.

So the glasses girl is the main protagonist. I like the choice, she’s bright, active, believable and kinda derpy. All good traits for a protagonist, I’d say.

She finds some book and a spoopy invisible ghost dude with a paper bag for a face … either that or it's the literal suitcase from pulp fiction. I like him, he’s got a nice carefree attitude.

There’s also this thing with the radio waves. Waves come, monsters appear, the kids around the block squad use the book to find out how to fight the monster … oh my god is this actually well written?
It’s a monster of the week series but it’s better than half the random shitter stuff I suffer though on a daily basis.
The characters all have their own distinct personalities and behave like reasonable people all without overdoing it with exposition.
By the eight, could it be that whoever made this knows their stuff but just can’t do lineart for shit? As I said the colors and designs kind of work, and well … it’s just those lines man, but I digress.

Alright. Huh … surprising … the second read though was not actually that bad …
Or is Stockholm syndrome kicking in?

CHARACTERS:

Here we go. There are:

Glasses girl … a.k.a the black one. She is nice. A real good kid doing good things. I think her family situation involves something along the lines of living with her uncle. But damn is she expressive. That’s what I call a personality. All the signs of a hero right there, who ever thought her up really did their homework.

Sunglasses girl … a.k.a the white one. If she’s a stoner she is one of those that would probably never share their weed. That one has an attitude. I think she’s supposed to be the cool one in the party … it shows … in a good way.

The dude … a.k.a the downer. I think he’s supposed to be the muscle … but he comes off like a complaining backseat gamer … which at this point I’m fully willing to claim is probably intentional aniways. I like him.

Overall not bad … not bad at all.
As soon as that art improves and the pages get a bit more legible without me having to devote an entire 30 inch screen to the comic to read it this could actually be decent.

Use some vectors / a vector layer for lineart. Makes erasing stuff easier and you can edit the lines after drawing them, so stuff looks cleaner. Watch some more cartoons then pause when you see a certain scene that compels you and draw whatever’s on it for practice.
Use reference, it’s not cheating.
Drop the paper background or get a cleaner looking one. … please …

… please ...

I think this shall be the last one for today ... I guess I got almost to the halfway point. Hooray ^^

Feedback: “To the Touch.”

NAME and SYNOPSIS:

When I looked at the name I already had an ominous feeling. When I clicked on the link I could see why … THAT kind of romance … oh boy here we go.
I hope those episodes aren’t too long. Eh, at least it’s female on female according to the tag … how bad could it be?

Since I’m not that much into classical myths the synopsis isn’t really doing it for me when it comes to an instant association with a pre existing story to set my expectations, so I’m mainly going off the second part of it that makes it seem like some kind of “artist falls in love with their nude model story”.
I can get behind that one … sure.

ART:

Very art housy style. Would definitely do well on instagram. Simple color palette early on only some occasional hiccups in anatomy when characters are standing certain ways, happens to all of us, looking at the ubermensch pecks captain america dude

If nothing else the style stays VERY consistent. Quite Painterly … wait are you writing the text by hand? If not that is one bad font …

Besides the eyesore that is the text the art definitely looks like something coming out of art school. The kind of stuff you get forced to draw by the teachers in response to you telling them you wanna make comics for a living.

The proportions aren’t even bad, they are just highly stylized to the point where it would be enough to work some more on your hands and feet and the general stiffness of you poses, usually in panels where one seer most or all of the body

STORY:

As an artist … I really wish that was how to get a girlfriend … but then again, how would I explain to the police that I literally created her without giving them the wrong idea?

Why are they just doing normal couple stuff … not even the kinky way … more like the wholesome way …
There are some deep implications of someone being able to create life out of nothing.
Where is her birth certificate? Does she need papers? How old is she? Was she born legal?

Nobody visiting will question why there are thousands of nude paintings of some girl with questionable background laying around at real girls place?

Why would you rather acknowledge the existence of leg hair instead of asking the important questions, woman … actually I’m sorry for assuming. That was inappropriate ^^

Well what can I say. It’s wholesome girls doing wholesome mundane tasks wholesomely with some melancholy dialogue sprinkled in and some serious sexual tension from time to time … I’ve certainly read more boring stories so far and enjoyed them.

I like how it’s not gay just for the sake of being gay, like some of the more out there material.
It has a nice somber vibe to it which is really being helped by the color scheme and minimalistic art even though that could still use some refinement. Some of the background would even be outright gorgeous … on a 5 inch canvas somewhere on a wall … I could definitely see that.

CHARACTERS:

Real girl … a.k.a. Literally God. One heck of a dedicated artist I guess. Basically created life … even though there were some suspicious voodoo shenanigans going on there. Not bad tho. Would have loved to see more of her lifestyle as a starving artist somewhere along the lines.

“Real” girl … a.k.a. The walking obduction lawsuit. I’m not sure what myth she was based on but the only one I know that even comes remotely close went a little differently and I can’t help but see parallels to that one … Boy made a perfect likeness of himself out of clay and made a pact with the devil to make his clay clone work instead of himself, so he could laze around all day. Clone got angry about his … situation and chopped of his makers head and took it for himself to turn human.
The protagonist was apparently so good at never using his head that he survived and took the clay head as a prosthesis, swearing revenge on his clone thus perpetuating the endless circle of violence between those two … Good tale. Fond memories …
Yea “Real” girl is nothing like that. She is kinda like the most boring version of frankenstein's monster, just being ok and “meh” about everything and kinda just going with the flow sipping tea … I can respect that.

Overall … Don’t make me read LGBTQ++AAA stuff again please. One of these days I will find a cringy one and your opinion of me will change forever ^^ This one was decent tho ...

Gad it helps somehow. Abuse every part of the tools you are given ^^ if you can't go out and shoot photos of people for reference, the §D assets are the next best hing xD

ooh, but I already thought of a funny intro. Does this mean you consider your series too cringe or only gay for the sake of being gay?

Don't worry, if you don't wanna, I'll respect that. Contrary to popular belief I'm not here to step on any feet.