Thanks so much for doing this for the community! As mentioned privately, we'd love to hear your thoughts!
Here's a link: https://tapas.io/series/FACTION
Thanks so much for doing this for the community! As mentioned privately, we'd love to hear your thoughts!
Here's a link: https://tapas.io/series/FACTION
Alright, so I tried to read things from January and from February (which I assume are seasons 1 to 3), and then I skipped to season 4 and read most of that.
Pros:
-You've definitely made improvements in your art~ The character designs are unique and stand out from each other. The colors you use work nice with each other.
-I really like the line-less backgrounds you use. They give a minimalist feel and look really nice with the characters, as they don't pull too much attention.
Cons:
-The proportions of body's are consistently off. The necks are too wide, the torsos too long, and the tops of heads are too flat. The last one is especially noticeable on the female characters.
-The attempts at making "fast" movements (such as the hand wave in "Take a Layer" or the head turns in "Undercover") are a bit too much. A tip for those kind of movements is to only draw 2 or 3 positions, and if you can try to make the moving part lighter or faded. You should also use a lot less movement lines. You only need a few to get the movement across. You can also use sound effects to kind of "cheat" by saying things like "wave" or "turn"
-Your lines are quite wobbly. It's not as bad in the character-art, but it's especially prominent in the backgrounds.
Other:
-The sheer detail in some of the backgrounds are really nice. How in the bedroom scene you can see all the figurines and other furniture. Or in the kitchen scene in "All You Can Handle".
Well that was an interesting read .3. a lot of black and white comics today. Though I'm not enitrely sure what the comics about, time will probably tell.
Pros:
-Your art is very good! The proportions are well done and your characters are very expressive. However, the eyes are a bit too big, even for an anime style .3.
-Your use of paneling in the mobile-format is really good. You use it well to express the characters emotions and control the pacing of the scenes.
Cons:
-Your speech bubbles could use some work. The spacing is inconsistent and the edges of the bubbles are too close to the text. The positioning is kinda off too. Here's a tutorial that should help: https://forums.tapas.io/t/comic-tip-leading-reader-through-speech-bubbles/13463
-The episodes are riddled with spelling mistakes You should look through your pages and make sure those are corrected.
Other:
-I think you should make your episodes shorter .3. It's hard to tell exactly how long each episode is, as you use the mobile/webtoons paneling format amazingly, but there was a lot of scrolling. A too long episode makes things glitch/crash on mobile. Plus, splitting them up means more updates, which means you show up on the "Fresh" tab more
Thank you. I will check out that tutorial because I really have trouble with text, then when I go back to correct it everything goes wrong. So thank you for taking the time to give me a link so I can work on that.
For spelling someone else pointed that out to me and I am currently begging my girlfriend to read over stuff for me, so I no suck so much, lol.
I didn't know that long episode could glitch!! But I started with such long episodes I thought it would be disappointing if i suddenly cut it to shorter ones...
Thank you so very much for your feedback and help!!
Wooow, your art is beautiful~! So pretty that I subscribed .3. Though there's not a lot of story yet, so this'll be focused more on the technical aspect of things.
Pros:
-Did I mentioned the art?? The effort put into the coloring, the backgrounds, and the linework is just amazing. I can really feel the emotion/work put into this comic. The characters are so expressive, and the Prologue especially was very well done. On like my third read through, I noticed that the sky was slowly going from a yellow-ish sunrise lighting to a full, sunny day throughout the panels! That's so cool! Such attention to detail!
-Your speech bubble placement is actually very well done. The words aren't all squished together, and that font you chose meshes well with your style~ That tends to be something people forget about.
- I love your character designs tbh. Your design for death was unique, as well as the design for the (what I believe is) the human/deity she tried to bring back to life.
Cons:
-Your panels are really squished together .3. It makes the scenes feel very fast paced, which is odd in moments that aren't necessarily moving very quickly. And, because things are so close together, it can even stop up the flow. For example, on page 3, after the speech bubble "or a hundred crew, finny boy", the next set of panels is way too close to the previous set. As the reader looks at it, they run into the "nonsense" speech bubble before Finny's suggestion. (i tried to draw it out for you, looky)
-Sometimes character positioning is unclear. An example of this pages 2 and 3, where Thomas is hit with a fish. It's clear that the old man threw it at him, but it's unclear from where the fish is thrown. Or even where the old man comes from, since he just kind of ends up in front of Thomas.
This happens again on Page 4 when the girl boards the ship, and goes to look at the things they caught but those things seemingly did not exist before that panel. If it was somewhere "off screen" then it implies she walked rather far after climbing onto the ship, and then walked to an unknown area of said ship.
Other:
-I don't have anything to put here really, but I think you shouldn't be afraid of slowing things down. In some cases this may mean drawing additional panels (which sucks, i know lol) OR you could make wider gutters (the space between panels). Since this website really favors the webtoons format, I would suggest putting wider vertical gutters where you can. And maybe less panels that are within other panels (an example of this would be on Page 6, when the girl grabs Thomas).
Sure, I'll bite! <3 Here's my comic!
It's called Whose World! ^_^
Thanks for doing this! Your reviews seem really succinct and helpful. If you still have room, I'd love you you to take a look at mine!
Ohh! I'm amazed to find your insight very helpful! Most of it are spot on to the issues I've been doubting myself I've had more headache in putting and selecting which scenes to put in a page and I guess that really shows haha ///
I read your other reviews from others and I found it quite helpful also, you have good eyes on comics.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! > <
Tbh that wasn't particularly interesting to read, but it definitely had a good-sounding premise. But it's the third chapter and the adventure hasn't really started, and the way it's paced makes it very confusing.
Pros:
-The characters themselves are very expressive, and maintain interesting body language
-The premise, at least, sounds very interesting. It seems like a lot of thought went into this world, it just isn't shown particularly well.
Cons:
-There was honestly way too much narration within the first 2 chapters alone. For a comic, it was very wordy and relied a bit too much on the narration/speaking than on the "depiction" part of the art. I would personally say there are too many speech bubbles per page for a web-styled comic. I think more panels should be dedicated to showing the characters reactions to the things happening, or even just scenery. Wider gutters would slow the pacing down (which it desperately needs).
-Your speech bubbles, in terms of content, are way too big. This is especially noticeable in Chapter 3, where even more exposition gets dumped on the reader through walls of text for most of the chapter.
Others:
-Overall, the pacing is a bit all over the place. It kind of looked like it was set in medieval times with queens and courts, but then the third chapter has a bunch of teens at a beach party... but they're still royalty maybe? I guess there was a timeskip. I'm not sure.
uwu I usually don't like sports but that was fun to read. I really like your art style, it's very much like... newspaper comics!
Pros:
-The character designs! Even though they're all wearing the same uniform, all the characters had their own unique look to them and a well-defined personality. I thought Marsilio was an adorable addition to the team as well. Their relationships with each other were clear and even changed, only within 52 pages. It was nice watching them interact.
-The story was short but sweet! An underdog story about a baseball team that isn't all that good. I'm glad it didn't end in a cliche way with them somehow winning, cause sometimes the small victories are better than the big ones (like how Bruno was finally able to hit a ball).
Cons:
-Some of the "action" scenes could've been better. It's hard to explain it exactly, but it's kind of like the "camera" of the scenes never moved. I think moments when characters are batting or scrambling to catch the ball could be done with more dynamic camera angles. (maybe like a top down view, or a tilted angle) as the use of camera angles can do wonders for getting across the mood of a character or scene.
-My second read through, I noticed that there weren't really any interior backgrounds. An example would be page 44 and 45 of Gang of Atomics, where they seem to be inside during this scene, but it's just a green background the entire time.
Others:
-There were some grammar mistakes sprinkled here and there throughout the comic, but it never made it too hard to understand what was happening .3. so i won't put it under cons. Just something to keep in mind though
-I know I commented on the lack of interior backrounds in Gang of Atomics, but it seems in The Perfect Season you've been more valiant with backgrounds .3. They look good.
Hiya!! It seems like you have a lot of requests already, but it'd be really cool if you could take a look at my comic, Betwixt. I only have about a chapter posted, so I'm not sure if there's a ton to go off of yet.
Anyway, thanks a bunch!!
-HM
Thank you very much for the review! It's a proof that someone else read my comic!
About the "action" scenes you're right! I myself felt the need to better represent action moments. I do not only need different camera angles, I also need to represent an action moment with more panels, in order to let the reader to well understand what's going on.
And the backgrounds? I also felt the same. Page 44 and 45 are green because they are inside a big green tent, but if I inserted some small detail in the back, like a piece of a window, or some ropes and corners, could be a lot better.
As you noticed, however, I put more effort in the second season, about backgrounds.
About the grammar mistakes, I'm italian and my english is scholar-level so ... sorry for them!
Thank you again!
Ahh, what a cute story ^3^ I like how each episode title is a "How To". I wasn't able to read all of it, but I read most of it (plus the most recent pages).
Pros:
-The cast of characters is really unique and memorable! I love all of their designs, as well as the variety of skin tones and body types
-Positioning and sense of space was really good too! The lighting/shadows were consistent, and it never seemed like characters were just appearing out of nowhere
Cons:
-Your backgrounds seem kinda blurry? Like, that may be a technique thing, but still. It was especially noticeable inside the library from episode 60.1. Especially when the girl comes around the corner, and it's just the bookshelf and blank space as the background
Others:
-I honestly don't have a lot to say about your comic~ It's definitely good, and there's no huge problems with it. Great job~!
Thank you so much for your critique I really appriciate it!
I've always had an issue with backgrounds mainly because I upload a lot of panels per week so I my focus is just never on it, although the bookshelf in that panel was particularly rushed and last minute. I'll try to make them more clear though, thanks!
What a read that was XD Definitely an interesting concept, with the ghost dad and apparently demonic grandma. There was even a whole nother episode when I finally came to review~
Pros: The character designs are great and memorable, and actually work very well with your style. The characters are expressive and full of life, as they always seem like they're in motion. The backgrounds are also very good, and give a consistent space for the characters to be in. The use of pink/purple lighting on page 12 of Episode 2 was very well done uwu
Cons: Each episode seems very rushed, story-wise. Almost every panel has text in it, and it never really takes a moment to breath. I would definitely recommend adding more panels with no text, and maybe just a reaction from the character or a background showing the setting off. Instead of one coherent story, each episode seems more like a oneshot that happens to happen in the same universe (if that makes sense). Every major problem for the episode is brought up, and often solved a few pages later, which makes it seem rushed.
Other: There were a few grammar mistakes here and there, but they didn't take away from understanding the comic so I won't count it as a con .3. From episodes 1 to 3, there's definitely been a lot of improvement in art! However, the story tends to follow the same formula each time, but hey! Maybe you'll switch things up in this 3rd episode.