Thanks for the resources. I've gone to them and bookmarked them for when I'm ready to try again.
oh that's a good resource--wish I had it 10 years ago because the whole situation was a disturbing power play. I don't even remember the guy's name anymore unfortunately.
I think it's better than nothing.
Here for example we didn't have any sort of psychiatric or psychotherapist qualified help till like the 2000s maybe (Before that it was more of a tool to get political undesirables away into nuthouses, and a bit after that nobody could care less about psychological health in a falling-apart country), and probably 90% of the "specialists" are either don't know what the fuck are they doing (since we began to catch up with the rest of the world just 20 years ago and there's still psychologists who think Freud was the pinnacle of truth), or just flat out bought their diploma illegally in a crosswalk tunnel.
I'm actually a bit envious that you guys have a working system you trust, and there's no social stigma against seeking this kind of help (Here if you mention that you might have psychological problems, everybody begins to view you either as a whiner that can't just solder on, since you're obviously faking it because you're clearly not a drooling moron or a violent psycho, you're not even suicidal). Sometimes I think I should seek some help, but with no way of knowing in advance if the guy behind the desk will be even competent, let alone sympathetic and not dismissive, and the whole "having sessions with a psychologist" perceived as some premium thing that the rich people do, not the common folk, well... The chance of it being just a waste of rather significant amounts of money (or, at worst, be waste of money AND actually damaging) is rather very high.
A big part of getting therapy is the stigma surrounding mental health. It sounds like you've encountered your fair share of shame. If you think you need help I'm obviously going to empower you, but when you're ready. Being ready for therapy is a huge part of the process. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks. 
I learned a lot that semester of college. It was the first time I was ready to admit that I wasn't neurotypical and that was okay. I also found people who I trust, who recognize when my behavior isn't normal and actually will talk to me about it, instead of running off and reporting me. Had the well-meaning, yet passive-aggressive soul actually checked on me when I was under the table, they'd have known I needed a nap after a busy day.
I hate stories where people have given up because of bad experiences. I wish you'd gotten the help you needed the first time. I also know how the system works and I am not suprised.
I mean i'm still going to a psychiatrist, I just don't have the money to keep paying for a therapist I have to vet first when i'm actually functioning well without one lol
I hear that, and I don't think everyone needs a therapist. If you ever change your mind, I posted a couple links up top.
While I found two really good psychotherapists over my years of suffering from depression and PTSD, I never ever managed to find a psychiatrist who was good or listened to anything or was at least a bit careful in the way they gave me their medication. I also went to a clinic for several weeks and the psychiatrists there also tried to shove down the pills, regardless how bad side effects were (we had several people blacking out every day, throwing up, not eating anymore, doing suicide attempts etcetera), because they usually put the medication on a really high level from the start instead of slowly going up and disregarded every complain of the patients that they feel much worse than before.
All the psychiatrists I dealt with in my last 20 years of experience with them, were always like: Yeah suck it up, its normal to have side effects for several months and if you feel like you don't have positive effects, it's cause you are not open enough for the medication, so it's your fault.
I hate them and I decided after taking antidepressants for 10+ years to never again do that and instead have a really good therapist and somehow fight my way without any pills.
I don't say these pills don't help, they surely do for some people. But finding the right one's, the right amount and the right doctor to give them to you is sometimes near impossible.
she tells me "it's great you can still do art on your medication."
This is factually incorrect, fam. Medication does not stifle your artistic impulse. It's a point I make to people constantly, because artists will go off their medication if it threatens their livelihood.
I'd like to draw attention to this point. I agree whole-heartedly. So many people seem to romanticize mental illness, especially artists. People buy into that tiresome cliche of "you must suffer for your art." Meanwhile, going on antidepressants snapped me right out of a miserable artistic slump. It seems mental healthcare providers actually know what they're talking about, some of the time.
Anyway, sorry that you've had such a bad experience with that psychiatrist. I've never had an experience that bad with one. I can't help but wonder if some of her condescension came from other aspects of your identity. You presented yourself as an artist and a married woman, while I am a single male engineer. My guess was that she assumed you were utterly dependent on your husband, too frail to handle your own affairs. At the risk of understatement, she seems overly parsimonious in her assumptions.
YES. I think that's exactly what happened. When I present as "credentialed mental health provider" people are much more respectful. Sometimes I get "Miss". That was the worst part of the whole experience. As soon as I said I was an artist she started to feel bad for me. Every subsequent assumption implied my art was a handicap, something that hampered an otherwise productive human being from reaching their potential.
As for your other point, I've worked with a lot of artists. I always ask "show me what you've been working on in this depressive episode?" or "let me see this body of work you've accomplished while living with unmedicated bipolar." If somebody actually had a coherent body of work I would totally agree that they were doing GREAT. But its never happened. Its always like, they have ideas but due to mental illness they've been unable to execute, or complete, any meaningful work. I can't prescribe medication but I can encourage them to accept a referral.
@Colours_dont_match
I don't think anybody should have to go through that. Yes, psych wards are just LIKE. THAT. But outpatient psychiatrists should listen to their patients. Patients know their bodies better than doctors do, full stop. Don't get me started on medication withdrawal. I work in substance use, I've seen every kind of detox and withdrawal (ok like mostly, dont fact check this.) Suboxone withdrawal is the worst substance withdrawal I've seen, worse than heroin. Its a straight month of classic withdrawal, shakes, weird appetite, no sleep, stomach pain, just the worst. Then its a couple months of intense cravings and a year and a half for your brain to adjust.
it takes six months just to get off antidepressants. Six months, because the dosage has to be adjusted incrementally to avoid a mental health episode. Like, shaving pills, if youre doing it right. Then minimum another six months for the worst symptoms to end. Who knows how long for your brain to adjust. TBH ive never seen anybody come all the way off long term antidepressants because its too hard. Thats not to say people shouldnt take them. Im just making an observation. When clients try and do it on their own its like a red flag because they usually dont do the prepwork, they just stop. It can trigger a new depressive episode, suicide attempt, mania etc. Its like a one way ticket to psych ward in a lot of cases. Which as we all know, is the worst. Then the clients gets out and they are more dependent than ever, plus they feel like shit from being in the psych ward. Please please dont do this.
I had a therapist once, told them I was an artist and she would constantly tell me that "maybe getting a job would make me feel more fulfilled in life" So I wouldn't feel suicidal anymore!
So I was getting nagged about jobs and moving out at home and at therapy.
when I literally couldn't do either because of my disability.
her also telling me to go to college to get a good job to afford a place to live- when I never even passed my GED just made me feel worse.
I remember telling her she was lucky to have gone to college, most people never do or they never finish it and she got mad at me. 
She also thought I was lying when I told her I knew 3 different people who had gotten addicted to prescription medications she said "that's not possible those aren't addictive"
You don't just tell a patient their life experience is wrong.
and the therapist I have now called my BF's A-sexuality a "problem"
but she's the best therapist I've had so far and she's at least putting in an effort to help me, unlike the others.
I just hope she stays cause every other therapist left without warning.
My psychiatrist on the other hand, she just asked me like 3 questions and gave me zoloft which I had a really bad reaction to and made me even more averted to medication. I'm on Buspirone now, so I don't freak out in public and I might need to switch meds again soon too if my therapist ends up diagnosing me with bipolar. But meds are scary idk
No medical professional should ever tell you that you're wrong. Ever. Or try and give you life advice.
It's hard not to give clients life advice, but its a professional skill you have to develop as a therapist. Meanwhile, friends in my real life do not get that courtesy. I'm sorry, I am not your therapist, Karen. I tell my friends, "You need to do X,Y and Z and you are a mess." I cant do that with clients.
Professional boundaries are an important part of the therapeutic process because a lot of clients come from unhealthy home life/ background where boundaries never existed. Its triggering to be in a relationship with a person who has power (therapist, psychiatrist) and there are no boundaries.
I suspect part of the "always leaving" is a symptom of a therapy agency. If you're ever interested, I've posted links above to find therapists. Private practice therapists are not bound by clinic rules and are likely to keep a client for longer. The "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality also sounds like an agency thing. They are coached to provide limited-term therapy and their whole schtick is "empowering the client.....to function within capitalism in a more conventional way." Thats just how they get their funding. They only have the resources to see clients for a little while, so they try and get them stable as quickly as possible. This usually means a job or shunting them off to another resource/ agency.
yea the last agency I was with was really terrible, they make my mental health worse instead of better
my new therapist is good though, different agency too she doesn't have the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality despite being part of an agency and she's told me she has no intention of leaving. I like her, she might have opinions I disagree with but she actually tries.
I think its so nice that you added those resources for people in the thread though, I wont need them but thats really considerate of you <3
It sounds like you found a keeper!
Its really hard to find a therapist. Like, really hard. When people call me for therapy and I cant taken them on (insurance, or not my specialty) I try and find them someone else. I figure when people cold-call therapists they are taking a huge risk so if it doesnt work out theyre just as likely to give up. Last night a woman called me and i looked up her insurance company's referral line with her on the phone so she didnt have to go away empty handed. Thats like, worst case scenario. If you email me and youre in my state I can get you therapist's phone numbers if you give me a day. I'll make you a fucking list.
aw you sound like a really good therapist ;w;
most of the one's who've worked with me don't care all that much.
In my old state before I moved, when I was looking for therapists, some of them either shoo'd me away because my insurance didn't cover it or they told me my case was too severe and they didn't direct me to anyone who could help.
My new state since I've moved is sooooo much better with that. I found a therapist in about 3 weeks after I got my apartment here. That's such a drastic difference.
Yeah its a big difference depending on the therapist. I'm in private practice so I have time to do this. I promise that while I worked in a therapy agency I committed every single kind of therapist war crime possible. My coworkers and I lived like animals. There was a new therapist, recent graduate, white guy. I was like "I wonder if he's been hazed yet?" So the first time we had to send one of his clients to the hospital I pulled him aside while the paramedics strapped her to a gurney against her will. I put on my best "apocalypse now" voice and whispered "watch this, its my favorite part."
i dont live like that anymore, thank god. i advise everybody to get out of agency healthcare as soon as they're able. Most of the terrible therapist shit I hear is just people being too overworked for basic human empathy. which is like, relatable but also not acceptable.
yea I can't even imagine, it's probably exhausting dealing with so many people and your own problems at the same time.
yet at the same time once I'm either done with my stories or I have more time I'm hoping to become an art therapist. I know the mental healthcare system has a lot of problems rn but I think I'd do ok
its like any job, the first couple years are gruelling but once you're on your own, you can do whatever you want.
Art therapy is cool, it varies by state. i don't think the "art therapist" programs I looked at were worth it. at the time I was in California so you need extra school and certificates to do "art therapy." the two states I've practiced in are California and colorado and you can do "Art interventions" as long as you don't call it "art therapy." I run a group with "art interventions" right now.
you will make a good therapist. i can tell.