Loving the painted style. Looks freaking beautiful!
I especially love the visualisation of Khay's freak out when he meets the clones.
The one thing I found off putting was the red filter between pages 12 and 18.
The scene itself felt like it was supposed to have a feeling of safety after escaping the cops, but the red gave me vibes like the ecplipse from Berserk was happening.
Not sure if that was what you were going for but it felt at odds with the scene if you get me.
Loving the art style. Really puts me at ease.
Feels overworldly in a very good way.
It's the kind of thing I can picture myself picking up at a library.
Good energy and good job maintaining a consistent artstyle. This story reminds me a lot of Dragonball and Bleach, in many places.
No, I think you have the right amount. There's probably a way to cut down on the exposition you need, though.
It's very typical of anime, but that's not such a big issue since this is an adventure battle shonen that is also very anime.
No, you're fine.
Some other points, though.
Consider drawing your own speech balloons. You're a westerner, you're writing in English first, you can do horizontal word balloons that fit the text. There are several points where your dialog suffers not from the word choice but by being stuck in narrow word balloons that keeps it from flowing naturally. Also, what's up with the thick speech bubble outline in 4.3 [Page.Panel]?
I wrote a guide a while back that addresses word balloon placement here that you may find useful: https://www.deviantart.com/sirustalcelion/art/Guide-to-lettering-for-Webcomics-1076887562
The split between Deman/Demen/Demon is confusing. For one thing, it reads like Jamaican "The man, the men, the MAN" and a simpler but more varied distinction - like Human, Monster, Beast, respectively - would be easier to remember and wouldn't require any explanation.
It's a bit late now but in the future consider more economy of storytelling. If you'd opened with the two angels on the lam, talking about trying to make money as bounty hunters, and then the bounty hunter guy shows up to kick their butts, you likely could've skipped everything before page 17 with no loss to the audience. Is the green haired peasant girl going to show up again? Is the big monkey not important? If neither of them matter to the overall story, consider cutting them.
That sort of thing is easier to catch if you give yourself a page limit and thumbnail out the whole chapter before you start drawing it. It's a lesson I've had to learn the hard way!
More minor things that came up: On 14.1-4 I wish you'd show us her lower half since her pants are the point of discussion. 21.2 Why was the giant monkey scared of rubber bullets that won't take an angel girl out of action? 23.2 That 4th wall break really took me out of the story.
Overall, I think your story has great energy. I like your runic language, I liked the bankai release, I like the font you're using for the water fx. It's a fun read and very fast-paced. I look forward to seeing more from you! Let us know when you release it!
Hard to describe.
kinda...dream like. Like theres something inherently magical about the world, you know?
Oh, I see. Good! I thought you were referencing some media franchise I didn't know. I think a dreamy vibe is what I'm going for!
Its more that he's afraid of her. Mercenaries are the only people licensed to carry firearms or weapons in general, so it's less the weapon he's afraid of and more the person wielding it.
Think there's some better wording I can use to bring that across?
Nice catch. Not sure what happened there.
I wanted an opening that set the pecking order of this world. Small beast-kin being prayed on by large beast-men and the only defense is this group of freelance mercenaries.
Plus they both come back later around the halfway point in a pretty important moment for Nat as a character.
Sorry to say but I'm kinda tripling down on the 4th wall thing.
Gintama was a bad influence on me.
Could you give me feedback on my more recent episodes of The Shapes starting from season 2 (which began in 2024)?
okey here we go, feedback @Rai_Muffin
First off, love the art and especially your character design and their expressiveness! And the library / observatory design was cool. Really liked the map at the beginning too!
_`Is the fight too brief? Didn't want to drag it out too much, keeping it to just the essentials, but would you rather see longer actions scenes?-`_I liked the balance you had. Unless you want to change to tone and focus of your comic intentionally, I would keep it as you have it. Having an elaborate fight scene so early without context to keep the readers engaged would not be beneficial, imo, and the action and energy you have does a good job of picking up momentum.
Is the dialogue too stilted? Worried that my dialogue isn't natural enough while still getting across the ideas I want. Any way I can punch it up?-
I agree on the previous points that for a reader the Deman/ demen is tough, and that the clunkier parts are mostly the dialogue related to background etc. It definitely flows more naturally on later pages. I also got the feeling that a bit of the very beginning was not needed to set off the next bits of your narrative, but since I don't know what comes later I can't make a big judgement on that. Overall while I think you could have a tighter beginning story wise, the energy was good and at no point did I feel like I was really losing focus as a reader. Nice job!
> Are the panels too small? Feel like some panels are too small and cramped. Are they alright or should I go fewer per page with bigger panels? I'm not making these for a magazine or anything so it's not like I have a hard page limit, but would it make the pacing slower?I'm not a comic artist, so I can't speak to this as well as previous posters have, but as a reader I found it your panel sizes visually appealing and clear when viewing them both on my phone and on a desktop screen
A few minor things, feel free to disregard if you prefer things stylistically of course!:
Random thoughts:
Your use of bits of german was interesting! Is that consistent in your worldbuilding later too? If that is one of your sources of inspiration for some words, would it be reasonable to dig into that to revisit the demen/deman naming scheme given the geography and history in-world? (also random, but as a german the idea of Affe sausage scared me until I realized it was not actually made of apes haha)
I thought how you broke the fourth wall on (i think) page 22 was funny! That said, one dialogue related thing i noticed was occasionally some modern / real world terminology slipped into the dialogue. If that's an intentional stylistic choice, that's great, but if you want to make the readers' immersion in your worldbuilding a bit smoother, perhaps you can try avoiding words like 'primetime' etc. unless its in an explicit joke like on page 22, or something that translates into some in-world tech or culture.
Hope this is at least somewhat helpful! Keep up the great work!
Thanks! :3
The red isn't a filter, I made the colour palette like that and just painted it directly. It also just is that colour in universe, it's the first light of sunrise through the heavily polluted atmosphere that severely reduces blue and green light passing through, making it look really really red :3
Can't navigate the site. When I click the arrows or the thumbnail images, all I see is white screen. Image not loading. I'm on a tablet. Don't have a desktop at the moment. Maybe it's fine with desktop I don't know
1) fight is OK. Of course that's the introduction to show the abilities of our heroes. Final boss will be longer I know...
2) dialog is humorous. Sets up for action comedy but I know there's episodes of seriousness. Fighting is serious. People get hurt. If I was a first aid manufacturer, I wannabe isekaid to a shonen anime so I rake the profits 
3) personal bias, some panels are small but I'm a phone scroller comic so don't go by me.
Thank you for the feedback. I’ll work hard to avoid repeating the same mistakes. I appreciate your support and encouragement as I improve. Please keep cheering me on—it means a lot
THANK YOU..........
Your story gripped me right away!
You can definatly read a lot into the idea of a church faking a prophet and forcing that role onto a random person.
Getting a lot of imposter syndrome vibes.
No notes, dude! Keep it up!
So glad someone picked up on that!
Made my day!
Thanks too for some of the grammatical suggestions.
Thanks for the feedback!
As for AngHell,
I feel like your themes are a little too obvious, regarding the whole blue pill, red pill thing. Pulling back and letting the audience read a little deeper could help give it more impact.
Really liked your villain.
The way she seems to be the only one to break the fourth wall gives me a demented version of the ginie from Aladdin vibes.
I’ll start by saying this plot feels very familiar.
Dark prophecy, wise elder who can’t convince the rest of the council, young chosen one from a poor background destined to save the world.
And yet yours is the only story so far that I read more than the first chapter of, because I genuinely wanted to know more
I bring up the familiarity not to dissuade you but to encourage you; a familiar plot isn’t an issue if the story is well told, and yours very much is. There’s a great sense of mystery, with little breadcrumbs that are clearly leading someone and painting a grander picture.
This was a genuinely captivating read,
keep it up!
I feel like you could spice up the backgrounds with different colours. Some of these are just white or grey and makes the presentation feel dull.
I’d avoid them unless it actually adds to the mood you’re going for; a simple colour goes a long way.
There’s also one too many panels of characters just statically talking.
Try making the same character look different on each panel with bigger facial or body movements.
That said you know how to end on a punchline and got a few chuckles outta me.
And I like it when your panels feel more experimental, like a close up of just a mouth talking. It’s like you want to push yourself outside your comfort zone and I think you should do that more.
Also the main character has Justin Roland’s Morty voice when I read it in my head.
Not sure if that’s just me. Then again this is an online review. This could all be a deceitful fabrication for the Motherland to lull your critical thinking.
Thanks so much for the feedback, guys!
Sorry it's taken so long to respond to some of you.
It's helped disuade some of my fears and gave me somethings I can improve on.
I've updated version on my site with some of your suggestions.
I went with a more simple Beast-Men and Beast-Kin over the Demen, Deman thing.
Wish I could come up with something more original, but I think something familiar and easier to understand could be more beneficial to the story.
