Here is mine, just started though
ISEKAI Genre
Not sure how will the ~5 pages work since I've converted mine to mobile format, and the first chapter is made out of 30 A4 pages, but here we go? ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (sci-fi, queer, mystery)
....mkay.
The comic series is called The King of Roo.
Brief synopsis.
Religious Kingdom is under huge tensions
Cult arises.
Prince sets out to find legendary armor to stop potential civil war.
Cult wants him dead and wants to use the civil war to utterly destroy the kingdom.
...so, its worth every penny!
https://tapas.io/series/King-of-Roo
+react
Imma try and update past the Sample episode 15, cause the sample is simply me drawing a scene from Part Two of the book. (God Willing)
Here is my novel if you're still doing this ^_^ I appreciate any feedback!
Genre: romance, fantasy, drama
A slowburn with supernatural and mafia-esque twists.
Would love it if you gave mine a go, if you're still doing these. Fair warning, though, I do think the first few chapters aren't my best work, but any feedback is appreciated, so +react.
ELEVENTH UPDATE! (Replies 104-114)
Godswater @hjpetersonauthor
=I read the whole first chapter straight through, and I gotta say it was excellent. A little slow-paced but not enough to be boring, thankfully. The Watcher is really interesting, and just in general the world of the story feels real and ‘alive’, with lots of elements that I can’t wait to hear more about.
When Death Meets Chaos @uglygirlnextdoor
=Okay, so…I think the most important quality for any poem to have is a pleasant sound. You can do this by trying to make it rhyme, making rhythmic syllable combinations, breaking up words and sentences in interesting ways…
…I see none of that here. =/ It kinda looks like you just formatted normal prose into stanzas without any kind of technique in mind…and the obvious grammatical errors throughout make it hard to take the writing seriously. If by some slim chance you’re doing that on purpose…don’t. I think the poem will read a lot better if your grasp of English isn’t in question.
Life in Polaroids @ApplesOverIndia
=In a word: unnatural.
Neither of the characters feel like real people, to the point where it’s hard to maintain interest in what the narrator is saying. She’s desperate enough to run away from her old life without a dime to her name, but she’s willing to trust a complete stranger at the drop of a hat?? This ‘manic pixie dream girl’, to borrow a phrase from a commenter, doesn’t even bother to tell her anything about herself beforehand. Like, at least if they had some time to bond before they teamed up, I could believe it, but all she does is order some food and say “I got money, brb”…which feels suspiciously like a plot convenience. =/
And speaking of the MPDG: her lines in particular are very unnatural; and even if she is meant to fit into that stereotype, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve better characterization.
I think you should go over her lines and try to re-write them from her perspective: what is she running from? What does she think when she sees this crying girl in the restaurant; what does she expect from her? How does she plan to convince her to trust her (believe it or not, most real people DO need to be convinced to let a stranger into their car and run off to god-knows-where with them, especially if they are already in a vulnerable position, which MC girl seems to be).
Your writing style is pretty good, but the content itself just doesn’t live up to it IMO. Fortunately, that’s fairly easy to improve.
Run @HikaruJinx
-The formatting of the speech bubbles really needs work…for one thing, you should center the text within them. Speech bubbles are round; they don’t need straight-line margins.
For another thing, no one likes to read a huge block of text all in one sitting. Downsizing the text to force everything to fit in one panel just makes it worse…break up the dialogue, please.
-The actions of the characters are also very hard to read. Portraying movement in a comic is a language all its own, and it doesn’t look like you understand it at all yet. So that’s an area you’ll probably want to study in the future.
=Basically, this comic looks pretty amateurish in almost every way possible. It’s readable, but there’s LOTS of room for improvement, to say the least.
Hello! Would love if you gave our comic a try. Only the first episode is available right now on Tapas, but you can go over to Webtoons if you want to read the second episode as well.
I hope you like it.
Realizing I never replied here even though I thought I did--
But better later than never, right? I'm still trying to figure out how exactly the pacing/formatting is going to be so I appreciate some feedback.
Oh, I would LOVE to read what you'd have to say about my fantasy-horror series... Unfortunately it takes a while to get going, but please, please read it!
22 days later
TWELFTH UPDATE! (Replies 115-131)
Dianchian @Lemon_Demon
=I think this novel suffers from an oddly…detached writing style. Like, it feels almost like you’re going out of your way to avoid creating an immersive experience.
Like in Chapter 2, when you spend all that time describing what a new character is wearing, and then just suddenly drop that whoever he’s looking at is his ‘nephew’ as the only identifier of who this character is.
Like, if we need to know, why not just say that someone’s uncle walked in?? Why make it so cryptic and unnecessarily confusing…?
To give another example, this line: “The girl looked like she was about to facepalm”.
It’s purposely abstract…to “look” like you are about to facepalm is so much more nebulous than…actually facepalming. Or frowning, or sighing, or other actual expressions that are associated with exasperation. But instead of using any of those, you choose to describe her as being about to make an expression. Why??
All in all, it results in a novel that’s almost ‘uncanny’ to read…between this and the lack of setting description or even movement description, it feels more like a rushed string of events than an actual story.
When the Leaves Fall @gabrielabittenocurt
-POWERFUL beginning. Holy moly O_O
-This is one of the first novels I’ve read here where, although the language isn’t 100% correct proof-reading-wise, the words flow really well and are pleasant to read. It does get a little confusing at certain ‘poetic’ moments, but overall it’s not bad.
=Interesting setting, strong dialogue, well-formed characters. ^^ I think you have a great story here, and I wish you luck with it in the future~
The Sound of You @littlelilylee5683
-Maybe it’s because I already know French, but the way you sneakily translate every phrase used within in the next couple of lines is just…it feels odd. Like, I admire the skill, but whyyyyy
=It’s a nice book. Doesn’t really capture my attention, but it’s pleasant to read, I guess. The side characters feel a little hollow and NPC-ish, but I think you have a strong MC.
Grim Reaper in Training @summermcallen
-Composition: Excellent~
-Art: OK
-Dialogue: OK-ish
=It’s not a ‘perfect’ comic, but I like it so far. The characters feel pretty lovable already, and although their dialogue is a little clunky, it seems to reflect their personalities well. ^^
Dragens Den @Fox_Den7
=Mmm…ok-ish? It has a pretty amateurish feel (which is kind of exacerbated by the ‘hey this is a serious comic’ announcement at the beginning…) and the beginning is a bit dull…for 5 pages worth of material, nothing much seems to…happen. The flashback picks up the pace a little, but with the skill level of the drawings it’s difficult to tell what’s actually happening without a second or third look…
Welcome to Hell @techstylesstudio
-…Ngl, this feels less like a coherent comic and more like an excuse to repeatedly draw a sexy demon girl with comically large boobs. =/
=I can tell there’s supposed to be humor in this, but it just doesn’t feel like you’re trying very hard; it’s so basic…I mean, the whole premise is a little basic, but you could easily do something creative with it. Doesn’t look like that’s happening, though…
…Also, typos. Typos EVERYWHERE
@DokiDokiTsuna I must say, I admire your commitment.
