180 / 379
May 2021

Not sure how will the ~5 pages work since I've converted mine to mobile format, and the first chapter is made out of 30 A4 pages, but here we go? ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (sci-fi, queer, mystery)

Here you go, hope you like it! If not, see you around, I guess and thanks for taking the time.

Hope you'll find it interesting

....mkay.
The comic series is called The King of Roo.
Brief synopsis.
Religious Kingdom is under huge tensions
Cult arises.
Prince sets out to find legendary armor to stop potential civil war.
Cult wants him dead and wants to use the civil war to utterly destroy the kingdom.

...so, its worth every penny!

https://tapas.io/series/King-of-Roo

+react
Imma try and update past the Sample episode 15, cause the sample is simply me drawing a scene from Part Two of the book. (God Willing)

Here is my novel if you're still doing this ^_^ I appreciate any feedback!

Genre: romance, fantasy, drama
A slowburn with supernatural and mafia-esque twists.

Would love it if you gave mine a go, if you're still doing these. Fair warning, though, I do think the first few chapters aren't my best work, but any feedback is appreciated, so +react.

ELEVENTH UPDATE! (Replies 104-114)

Godswater @hjpetersonauthor
=I read the whole first chapter straight through, and I gotta say it was excellent. A little slow-paced but not enough to be boring, thankfully. The Watcher is really interesting, and just in general the world of the story feels real and ‘alive’, with lots of elements that I can’t wait to hear more about.

When Death Meets Chaos @uglygirlnextdoor
=Okay, so…I think the most important quality for any poem to have is a pleasant sound. You can do this by trying to make it rhyme, making rhythmic syllable combinations, breaking up words and sentences in interesting ways…
…I see none of that here. =/ It kinda looks like you just formatted normal prose into stanzas without any kind of technique in mind…and the obvious grammatical errors throughout make it hard to take the writing seriously. If by some slim chance you’re doing that on purpose…don’t. I think the poem will read a lot better if your grasp of English isn’t in question.

Life in Polaroids @ApplesOverIndia
=In a word: unnatural.
Neither of the characters feel like real people, to the point where it’s hard to maintain interest in what the narrator is saying. She’s desperate enough to run away from her old life without a dime to her name, but she’s willing to trust a complete stranger at the drop of a hat?? This ‘manic pixie dream girl’, to borrow a phrase from a commenter, doesn’t even bother to tell her anything about herself beforehand. Like, at least if they had some time to bond before they teamed up, I could believe it, but all she does is order some food and say “I got money, brb”…which feels suspiciously like a plot convenience. =/

And speaking of the MPDG: her lines in particular are very unnatural; and even if she is meant to fit into that stereotype, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve better characterization.
I think you should go over her lines and try to re-write them from her perspective: what is she running from? What does she think when she sees this crying girl in the restaurant; what does she expect from her? How does she plan to convince her to trust her (believe it or not, most real people DO need to be convinced to let a stranger into their car and run off to god-knows-where with them, especially if they are already in a vulnerable position, which MC girl seems to be).

Your writing style is pretty good, but the content itself just doesn’t live up to it IMO. Fortunately, that’s fairly easy to improve.

Run @HikaruJinx
-The formatting of the speech bubbles really needs work…for one thing, you should center the text within them. Speech bubbles are round; they don’t need straight-line margins.
For another thing, no one likes to read a huge block of text all in one sitting. Downsizing the text to force everything to fit in one panel just makes it worse…break up the dialogue, please.
-The actions of the characters are also very hard to read. Portraying movement in a comic is a language all its own, and it doesn’t look like you understand it at all yet. So that’s an area you’ll probably want to study in the future.
=Basically, this comic looks pretty amateurish in almost every way possible. It’s readable, but there’s LOTS of room for improvement, to say the least.

Hello! Would love if you gave our comic a try. Only the first episode is available right now on Tapas, but you can go over to Webtoons if you want to read the second episode as well.

I hope you like it.

Hi! Please read my novel and subscribe! Leave a comment too! Tell me what you think about it!

Hi!Here are two that I promote feel free to comment.Hope you enjoy!!!Thanks btw for the thread​:blush:

Realizing I never replied here even though I thought I did--
But better later than never, right? I'm still trying to figure out how exactly the pacing/formatting is going to be so I appreciate some feedback.

Oh, I would LOVE to read what you'd have to say about my fantasy-horror series... Unfortunately it takes a while to get going, but please, please read it!

Hi! Here's mine. Would like to hear your thoughts on Izzy! Thanks.

22 days later

TWELFTH UPDATE! (Replies 115-131)

Dianchian @Lemon_Demon
=I think this novel suffers from an oddly…detached writing style. Like, it feels almost like you’re going out of your way to avoid creating an immersive experience.
Like in Chapter 2, when you spend all that time describing what a new character is wearing, and then just suddenly drop that whoever he’s looking at is his ‘nephew’ as the only identifier of who this character is.
Like, if we need to know, why not just say that someone’s uncle walked in?? Why make it so cryptic and unnecessarily confusing…?
To give another example, this line: “The girl looked like she was about to facepalm”.
It’s purposely abstract…to “look” like you are about to facepalm is so much more nebulous than…actually facepalming. Or frowning, or sighing, or other actual expressions that are associated with exasperation. But instead of using any of those, you choose to describe her as being about to make an expression. Why??
All in all, it results in a novel that’s almost ‘uncanny’ to read…between this and the lack of setting description or even movement description, it feels more like a rushed string of events than an actual story.

When the Leaves Fall @gabrielabittenocurt
-POWERFUL beginning. Holy moly O_O
-This is one of the first novels I’ve read here where, although the language isn’t 100% correct proof-reading-wise, the words flow really well and are pleasant to read. It does get a little confusing at certain ‘poetic’ moments, but overall it’s not bad.
=Interesting setting, strong dialogue, well-formed characters. ^^ I think you have a great story here, and I wish you luck with it in the future~

The Sound of You @littlelilylee5683
-Maybe it’s because I already know French, but the way you sneakily translate every phrase used within in the next couple of lines is just…it feels odd. Like, I admire the skill, but whyyyyy
=It’s a nice book. Doesn’t really capture my attention, but it’s pleasant to read, I guess. The side characters feel a little hollow and NPC-ish, but I think you have a strong MC.

Grim Reaper in Training @summermcallen
-Composition: Excellent~
-Art: OK
-Dialogue: OK-ish
=It’s not a ‘perfect’ comic, but I like it so far. The characters feel pretty lovable already, and although their dialogue is a little clunky, it seems to reflect their personalities well. ^^

Dragens Den @Fox_Den7
=Mmm…ok-ish? It has a pretty amateurish feel (which is kind of exacerbated by the ‘hey this is a serious comic’ announcement at the beginning…) and the beginning is a bit dull…for 5 pages worth of material, nothing much seems to…happen. The flashback picks up the pace a little, but with the skill level of the drawings it’s difficult to tell what’s actually happening without a second or third look…

Welcome to Hell @techstylesstudio
-…Ngl, this feels less like a coherent comic and more like an excuse to repeatedly draw a sexy demon girl with comically large boobs. =/
=I can tell there’s supposed to be humor in this, but it just doesn’t feel like you’re trying very hard; it’s so basic…I mean, the whole premise is a little basic, but you could easily do something creative with it. Doesn’t look like that’s happening, though…
…Also, typos. Typos EVERYWHERE

Think maybe you can take a look at my series?

:o Thank you for this! I hope you can check my novel out if you have time! ^^

Hi!!! here is mine

tapas

Webtoon (two more eps)

hope you enjoy it!!!

Thanks for the feedback! :blush: I'm not sure how far you read, so I don't what to say about the side characters. I write in third person, but I do try to stick to one character's point of view. I suppose that limits the development of other characters. I'll try to work on that. Sorry it didn't interest you, but I'm glad it's maybe an easy read? At least my MC is good. :sweat_smile:

The translating without translating is for all the people who don't speak French, I guess. I didn't want to sacrifice that part of the character, but also didn't want people to miss what was said most of the time. Perhaps I don't need that and the reader can just not know.

Title: Talipandas
Tags: Fantasy, Slice of Life, Romance, Magic, Royalty, Transimgration, Reincarnation
Comic or Novel: Novel
Summary: When spoiled rich girl Ari's life ends, she finds herself reborn as Princess Iris in a fantasy world created by her childhood imaginary friend! But being a princess comes with being the last hope to remove an evil curse from the royal bloodline, which would be a lot easier if she hadn't inherited the most useless kind of magic in the world.
Link:

Thank you :slight_smile: <3 glad that you like it. The art gets better at the newer episodes :wink: the first ones are 2 years old :smiley:
I will work on my dialogues :muscle:🏻 it's just sometimes really hard because I'm not a native speaker :slight_smile:

Thank you so much for reading! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the story. I am relieved that the dialogues are good, as I feel a little difficult to write them. I apologize for the grammatical errors. English is not my mother tongue (I am Brazilian, I speak Portuguese). In fact, I hired someone to translate for me. Again, a lot to read. I hope you follow the story going forward

+react

I'm looking to see what someone thinks on a realistic standpoint...I'm still learning how to draw better though so spare me that lol

+react

I'm writing a reincarnation-themed fantasy story, with some romance and kingdom building later to come.
I would love to know what you think about it. So have at ye~

Hi! If you want a medieval fantasy story, this might intrigue you. You can just read the prologue and see if that gives ya something or chapter one, up to you! ^^

:heavy_plus_sign: react

If you like action and fantasy. Now releasing the new stuff. Comes out weekly on Saturday Mornings. Here is the tapas and webtoons. Whichever you prefer.


If you have the time, I'd appreciate if you gave your thoughts on my series.
+ react

Thanks!

14 days later

Hi! I'd love it if you checked this out. I know it might seem immature with unicorns and all but...hope you like it anyways! :slight_smile:

You already have a lot to get through, but, I'll leave mine here in case you ever get around to it.

Obviously, I'm not gonna self-promo but I do empathize those who are genuinely bored.
This high fantasy reincarnation novel is awesome. I know this is a completed one but I can't seem to find the site of its complete version. But whatever. I hope you enjoyed reading this!
I am the Monarch by Cheol Jonggeum

Please check out mine too. As the only person involved in this. Even harsh criticism at this early stage will be no less than a gift. Thanks~

why not to try :3

You've got a lot on your plate now, but this one's just 3 pages, so hopefully it'll be easier to get through.


as for other people's stories, this one's underrated as hell.

THIRTEENTH UPDATE! (Replies 131-144)

The Mule @Ninjaniskel
=Excellent descriptive writing; the language is just a little awkward here and there. Some light editing and some style study could easily take it from ‘good’ to ‘pro-level’.
Things like switching out ‘the highest bosses’ for ‘the higher-ups’, y’know? You seem to be good at building immersion, but you keep breaking it with these unnatural turns of phrase.

Woe to the Jester @Sol_N
-Very strong, engaging intro~ :thumbsup:
=It’s kind of interesting, I guess. I don’t really enjoy reading stories with that much pathos, but it looks like a solid, professional piece of writing that people will like a lot. ^^ Best of luck~

The Ghoul @FafasMcMelt
-The faces are just a liiiiiitle uncanny. I suggest you do some expression studies, ‘cause they look pretty good…right up until they start showing emotion. ^^;
-In general, the art is so good; it could just a little work. There are so many amazing skills on display in this comic, but each and every one of them are kinda just 80% there; not all the way. It’s possible that you’ll just grow into them as the comic progresses…I certainly hope so.
=I think this is a great comic in the making. The art holds up, and the story so far is kind of interesting (I wonder, how did they identify the body if its face is gone? Unless someone came along later and took it…?)
Even the violence/action is pretty well done, although I have two notes on that: one, clarity. You may want to outline the figures of the characters with some blank space, so they don’t get lost in the chaos of the background (it’s a difficult technique in b/w comics, but there’s plenty of manga out there that can teach it to you).
Two, speed…I guess, emotive speed. I think, if you’re getting stabbed in the throat, you don’t spend a lot of time crying about it…definitely not 4 panels’ worth. ^^; The flesh there is thin, so with a sword that big you’d rip through the trachea almost immediately…and usually when people stop breathing, they either go into full panic mode or straight into shock. Just my two cents…the way you did it carries a lot of pathos, though, so even if it’s not totally physiologically accurate, I don’t blame you. ^^

Just Peachy @Disneybug314
-There’s something about Ep 1 that feels…artificial, insincere. Maybe it’s just lacking in detail, or character investment, or both. Just in general, it doesn’t feel like someone actually talking about their experiences, it reads more like a character doing a ‘last time on [ins. Series]’ recap before the new episode…
-Use quotation marks, please. Or at least some well-placed colons ( : ) to make dialogue clear…yes, even inner dialogue.
=Yeah, this doesn’t feel real. It’s not a bad story; I’m sure it’ll entertain people, but it just feels…totally devoid of style. Nothing about the phrasing or word choice makes you feel like you’re reading through the actual thoughts of someone who walked out of a time machine and into the apocalypse; there’s not enough genuine emotion.
Like in Ep 2, where MC says they’re basically having an anxiety attack…they describe physical things, like rocking back and forth and pulling out their hair, but they do it SO fast and impersonally, as if it’s not at all new to them that they’re having these feelings.
And then, not even 5 lines later, they go “the first thing to do in a zombie apocalypse is…” as if they’re in situations like this all the time. =/ Like, you keep saying over and over that what’s happening is unheard of, and shocking, and horrifying, but your character isn’t acting that way at all. It’s like this is all a game to them; it’s hard to take them seriously…in short, it’s a classic case of telling instead of showing.

Hi there! Well, if you're still bored or have time to kill... I humbly ask for your feedback, then!
Yep, even if you end up not liking it, it's still good to know why etc :joy:

Are you searching a contemporary mystery drama series which would make you sit at the back of your peaceful sofa seat, with a kitten on your lap, a hot cup of coffee on one hand and reading a novel on your phone in another hand, enjoying one of the best mystery webnovel out there? Well, you've hit the right spot! I, the writer of 'Wake Up Dead', tries to dive you in the world of Kartik Khandelwal where a group of murderers named 'The Suiciders' are creating a chaos in the heart of India, Delhi, with repetitive attempts to murder famous politicians and other important figures and take over the whole administration. Will Kartik, with his 'The Suiciders Defense Group', be able to save the city?

Here's the first chapter:

thank you for taking the time, and I really appreciate the feedback

I'll definitely take these into consideration moving forward
Cheers!