Will edit your blurbs (for free)

Haha, no worries, that clears it all up already Let me see what I can do...

A Death-Game ensues when 61 million of the world's population get trapped in Knights & Mages Online. Seth Kiah, the Winner of the Beta Test, has been exiled. The Creator has gone Villain and is hellbent on making everyone's lives harder.

Even though the game is rigged, Seth Kiah and his crew fight to defeat all Bosses of 100 islands and get out of the VR they're trapped in. Because that's their only chance at survival. And Seth hasn't won Beta just so he could die in Alpha.

The game is on.

Okay so I improvised a bit in the middle there, and idk really if the game version following beta is really called alpha lol. But I hope that helps show you what I mean about characters and conflict!

Hiii! Haha, well, maybe I can help

I think this is redundant here. It tells me nothing about the story or the characters.

This is a good paragraph! I do have a few edits:

In his sleep, Shinichi was able to see the world's true form. Most importantly, he could level up people's abilities and eventually obtain those maxed-out abilities for himself! Thus, he began to collect as many powerful people as possible, so he could return to his former glory...

I like that we're upping the stakes here, the structure is a bit confusing though. How about...

An odd figure who may or may not be Shinichi's mother kept warning him of the dangers to come. "The world's devouring has begun," she cautioned, "and it won't stop until everything's consumed." Or something.

And here I think restructuring could help it flow better:

Well...who cares about the end of the world, anyway? He has other things to do. Best to ignore these ominous warnings that aren't going to help his current situation.

Well, those would be my suggestions! Hope they helped but feel free to ignore them if they didn't!

Haha, nothing wrong with short, especially if the story/comic you're creating is also short
That being said...one single sentence can't convey a whole lot about your characters and conflict

Can you tell us what's the name of the princess? Who/what broke her? Which horrors of the world?

Like I said, short is fine! But it does have to include some specifics which will entice your readers to pick your story, over all the other sorrowful princesses out there. If you can give me a few more details, I could try to whip something up for you!

You're welcome! Honestly, editing be like that - it's easier to do it for other people than for yourself, lol.

Honestly, I think this is really good, especially if your comic is short! It packs conflict and character in two well-paced sentences, which give the readers just enough to leave them wanting more. Are you looking to expand it?

That's so cute! I like. It reads more like a logline than a blurb, though. But, again, if the story is super short, this is probably enough

I like this, too, but I'm a bit confused about the unlikely duo. Which is it? Caleb and the unstable man? Caleb and the angel? The angel and the unstable man? I'm thinking it's probably Caleb and the angel, but it's 'unlikely' that threw me off - why is it unlikely, when you're referring to him having a guardian angel as if it was a normal occurrence?

I think this one could use a bit of expanding, on account of 'alien realm' and 'unknown dangers'. Those are both a bit too vague. And I don't understand surviving as a replacement for being happy If you're not surviving, then you're dead, and you can't be happy anymore

Congratulations Could you please paste the content of the blurb as a post in this topic, for easier editing?

Haha, glad you liked it! Of course, go for it

Happy to help! And yes, that's always the dilemma, heh. As authors, we feel like everything we put into the story is iMpOrTaNt lol, so it's hard to pick and choose.

Maybe you could work those specific words in - survival vs happiness. Off the top of my head, something like...

Survival vs happiness is the name of the game as lively, hopeful Tara ends up stranded in a mind-bending alien realm. She must conquer its unknown dangers to survive...but will she be happy?

Wild improvisation lol. And I just realised I'm not entirely sure what you mean by survival vs happiness

Haha, all right, then!

Ok so this whole first part reads like an exposition. It's all a very interesting set-up, but I have a feeling this is either a previous book or some sort of backstory, and I can't tell yet what it is that I will be reading about.

Here is where the story finally begins, and we only get 3 vague sentences about it. Is Fall the protagonist? What about this distant world? Ok so all the rest was his past, but if he needs to let go of it, why are we reading about it in the blurb? If the story is going to be about Fall on this new world, then I would like to know what his present/future conflict will be on there, rather than what's already happened and I won't be reading about. If that makes sense? Let me know if it doesn't

Haha, thank you! Hope I can help

This is a good start! I would maybe connect the sentences with a comma, rather than a period, like this:

Chippo wakes up surrounded by an eternal mist, not knowing how he got here or why he's all alone.

This is where I get a bit confused. How do the ordered packages come into play? If he is in some place he doesn't know, how does he end up ordering packages? Or are they packages he'd ordered before getting isekai'd? Also, the sender is unknown, which doesn't add up with ordered - if Chippo had ordered those packages, then he would know who sent them. Do you think you could clarify that point in the blurb somehow?

This is overall good as a blurb, it sets up the character and the story nicely. I do have some grammar and structure adjustments, though, and I will improvise a bit on some details, feel free to correct if I'm off the mark.

After a break-up, Lia Lin Ai got into a fatal car accident. Strangely, a cupid offers her a second chance at life, putting Lia Lin Ai's soul into the body of a girl with a similar name. Without the memories of said girl, can Lin Ai live her life? What happens when her old connections come into the picture?

Ok, so, this packs a lot of info, which is great, but I'm having some trouble following the structure. I'm going to try to re-write this in a way I think would be clearer:

Li Yuan, Emperor of Tang Dynasty, Empress Fang, and Concubine Wu are in an entanglement. Two sons are born - the battle for the position of Empress begins.

Bloodshed and betrayal are the norm at the imperial court, and history tends to repeat itself. With one innocent already ruined and the land turned chaotic, the palace schemes of the three individuals will dictate the fate of the Tang Dynasty.

Will they choose right or wrong?

This sounds very interesting, but I think for the genre you're writing in, quite generic. Your last sentence could potentially apply to most VR stories out there. So I need to know what is it about your protagonist or your story's conflict that should make choose this one, over all the others. Who is your protagonist? And what is their specific story?

Haha, all right! Well, if the novel is huge, then you definitely need a couple of paragraphs to give readers a taste of what they're getting into.

I don't think your big blurb is that long! It's just that it focuses too much on Suren's internal turmoil, and without knowing who she is, or what her world is, the reader is going to have a hard time relating to her or understanding what the novel's conflict is supposed to be.

Only when I re-read the blurb for a second time on your carrd, did I notice the mad prophet erased from history, which - as a reader who knows nothing about your story - is the most interesting detail at first glance. If you think about it, all protagonists and all worlds are tortured in some way, that's what generates conflict. So in your blurb you have to focus on that one spark in your story that makes it stand out from the usual fare in similar genres.

I'm going to attempt a re-write based on my understanding of your story so far, you are free to use it however you like, or ignore it completely haha:

Sorrowful princess Suren is growing fed up with seeing her people suffer under the old rule.

A dynastic thirst for power has ruined generations of royals, and the realm along with them. Before she loses herself completely, however, Suren makes a terrible discovery: a danger prophesied by a madman erased from history is now all too real.

Suren must find her strength to finish what the mad prophet had started. She must fight for the sake of her people. As she journeys through the Jade Kingdom, gathering allies, the princess realizes she is far from alone in her sorrow. The time has come for change and Suren will see to it that history remembers.

Hope that helps!

It's nice to see what Ruby wants, because that sets it up to conflict with what she actually gets, but for a blurb, I think this could start better with where she is right now. Like..what is her status quo before whatever it is that sets off her journey? Because then when David Marquis comes into the picture, the reader doesn't know which picture that is.

That's a pretty wild finish, haha, but I don't understand very well how it ties in to the rest of Ruby's struggles. So if you could maybe tell me a bit more about the status quo she starts from, I could try to rearrange some stuff around, see if I can clear it all up.

Aww, thank you soo much! That really means a lot I'm excited to share it with everyone on August 19th!

Woohoo, happy to help!

No problem~

Ok, so this is all a very interesting slice-of-life mosaic, though I do have to ask - is this for an anthology of school-related stories, or is there one protagonist in particular whose journey we're following? If it's the latter, then we need to see that person and focus on them in the blurb.

Woah okay that's brutal Not sure if I would include a headless corpse in the blurb, but to be fair, it does catch the eye It makes me wonder, though, what genre do you classify your story as? Unless it's something horror, or mature, I would maybe go for something like:

17-year-old Akilah is traumatized by the gruesome death of her childhood best friend, Adara.

I'm not sure I understand the deceiving part. Do you mean that deceitful people blinded the King? Or do you mean the King deceived people, which blinded him in the end? If you mean the former, I would recommend using deceitful instead of deceiving to avoid confusion.

The repetition here is unnecessary. Life is unfair - those are the first words uttered by Akilah after Adara's burial.

I really like the stakes and conflict here! One small thing, though - I would replace the semicolon with a question mark and make that two separate sentences. So, like: Will the deal work out in Akilah's favor? Will she be able to save Adara from the monsters that killed her or will history repeat itself?

My pleasure!

Yay, glad I could help!