Well this is reflecting awkwardly on me 
I prefer it to be normalized with maybe small mentions of discrimination.
When discrimination is the major plot point, it can sometimes be way too depressing and just not pleasant to read. I am sort of sick of transgender people having to suffer throughout the whole story.
While I don't mind media containing content focused on discrimination toward gender and sexuality, I much prefer seeing it normalized. Some content does handle discrimination very well and it's good to show that rather than pretend it never existed. But personally, I tend to see a trend when it comes to stories in particular written about sexuality discrimination. It almost follows a pattern (not in all stories of course) in quite a few that I've read both on here, Wattpad, and published.
Personally, I think both should exist, but if I have to choose one, then normalised because if I wanted to see discrimination I'd just look around lol.
I prefer stories that highlight normalization, but in the scope of showing that discrimination is reprehensible and should call for those things to be normalized. A lot of people read as a form of escapism, so seeing a lot of what they face everyday can be a bit much, but seeing characters striving despite adversity can be inspiring. Also, little victories over bigotry are profound.
I'm obviously in the minority here, but as a lesbian myself I vastly prefer media where the existence of homophobia is acknowledged and addressed. It doesn't have to be the primary focus of the work or even a major theme necessarily, but world that are completely free of any discrimination feel.. fake and unrelatable to me.
I'm interested in reading about people I relate to and experiences that I can relate to. I do not live in a world that's completely free of homophobia. To some extent, my lived experience of being homosexual is defined by the knowledge that it is not the norm in the world and there is discrimination that exists. Worlds where homosexuality is 100% completely normalized feel like they're erasing that aspect of my own existence and experiences, and ironically they feel... alienating to me. Or condescending, even. I don't like feeling like I'm being talked down to.
Even in terms of escapism, the sort of power fantasy of seeing people overcome discrimination does a lot more for me emotionally than just seeing worlds where discrimination doesn't exist at all.
I'm not saying other people are wrong for enjoying what they enjoy, but I just strongly prefer realism and emotional honesty regarding things like this, even in speculative fiction contexts.
We may be outnumbered, but there's nothing wrong with preferring real-world issues to be realistically addressed lol
like both equally, and I think there's a time and a place for each. I think there needs to be a lot more media that normalizes LGBTQ casts, and shows them in a happy, healthy environment, but I also think there's a lot to be said for those who try to address the issues at hand.
That said, done "well" is hard to achieve for addressing LGBT issues. Often they try to use the woke language without the nuance and without addressing the power structures that allow discrimination to happen (or encourage it!). this often results in an empty "feel-good story" about overcoming it through kindness or empathy, or misery porn like mentioned above. I'd much rather see the systemic injustices addressed and called out if they're going to go down that route. Otherwise, give me my lesbian romance and my feel-good transition stories, please.
Personally, I'd prefer both, but if I had to choose...I'd probably gravitate towards stories that address discrimination but handle it well. I like to tell stories with characters who are LGBTQ who, on occasion, come across situations where they are confronted with discrimination, but I like to show how the characters end up overcoming this adversity in different ways. It's more therapeutic and comforting for me to write stories like this, because I think that it may give me the confidence to also someday overcome these things on my own. I still live in a very discriminatory world and can't be open about myself. At the very least, I'd like my stories to inspire myself and others who are in the same situation that I am. (So in a way...it's my own kind of escapism?) That doesn't mean I don't like to consume media that normalizes it though, I think it's great, but I'll just relate more towards LGBTQ stories that treat the issue with the proper care it needs.
Hey! I'm a lesbian too, and though I prefer the other option, I agree with your point that worlds without "surface" discrimination - even set on earth - feel like another dimension. I hope I'm not being too condescending by removing it from my stories. I appreciate you pointing this out. Your post was really insightful for me since I was hoping to see opinions from the other side, and it's very well-written - thank you!
I'm kinda either or? For me it depends on the story, with some fantastical escapism is best, while tackling more realistic aspects of the LGBT+ experience is better for others. I'm just in it for a story, I don't care what side of the fence it's on, as long as it fits.
Although I have to say, as a creator of a comic with heavier subjects, I do really enjoy my catharsis. It's not very often that the themes being discussed are done well, usually it's either embellished character torture, or excessive fluffy cuteness. There's never a good medium. Escapism is nice, but there's thousands of those types of stories, a good cathartic story is a rare find and something I cherish. They vent emotions and words that I can't for one reason or another, also you can get a real good cry out of one if it hits just right.
Hello! I know it's not quite the same, but I compare it to the live-action Mulan - no matter how much research a non-Chinese person does, they'll never have the experience of being Chinese, and thus the media they create will feel empty and flat, especially to a Chinese audience. For minorities, It's either that or filled with overdone tropes they use as a poor excuse at representation!
(Also, thank you for pointing out when 20th century lesbians were everywhere. I don't want to be rude, but it was just two white women dancing around the forbidden/hidden love trope over and over again. Don't people want to see something else?)
I appreciate the recommendation, I'm excited since the mc appears Asian-coded too 
Thank you for your thoughts!
Ultimately, both are valuable, so there's no wrong answer. My personal preference as a media consumer trends against escapism. I tend to go to media to help me face difficult realities in beautiful ways, but I completely understand how normalized queer relationships can also be a positive force for good. Also, I think it really depends on the genre, medium, and what kind of story you want to tell.
For me it depends on the setting, but like... I've not finished good books because they had discrimination in them. Like someone else said, if I wanted to be a witness to discrimination, I'll just... go outside? IDK. I know it's important to show, but I love me some stories that show minorities as powerful without the Capital D asterisk.
I primarily write sci-fi, I tend to lean towards no discrimination, or at least discrimination that doesn't have a direct counterpart in our world (for example, in one story, these colonists on a different planet only grew beards if they came from a particular area, so if you grew a beard, you were considered dangerous/uneducated and my MC (of course) happened to hail from there and happened to grow a beard. There's definite parallels to discrimination in our world, but afaik there's no direct counterpart to wholesale disapproval of the ability to grow beards). Otherwise, I prefer to deal with a character's self-doubt than doubt instilled by other people.
^ This. This SO much. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this. Thank you for saying it out loud <3
Personally, I'm fine with high fantasy/sci-fi settings that have nothing to do with our own world in which discrimination as we know it in our world does not exist. It's a fantasy world, after all, anything is possible. However, for real world settings, I vastly prefer realism over escapism. As said above, doesn't have to be the main/only theme... but acting like these things don't exist at all definitely feels fake and alienating and like my own experiences are being erased.
I feel like the key point here is media that tackles it WELL. Because most of the time it's not done well and is mostly just trauma porn. Like a book that realistically depicts internalized homophobia really hits for me, but a random hate crime two thirds of the way just makes me uncomfortable.
But I do think that media normalizing it is really important, especially for kids. My personal taste is just towards somewhat depressing realistic fiction.
Personally it depends on the story you're trying to tell. A story showing the discrimination of LGBTQ could be very interesting if done well.
I don't know if i qualify as my comic, while it's gonna have a fair amount of LGBT characters, doesn't really focus on their identities much. I think i would consume both, but media that would treat LGBT+ identities as normal is just, nice. It's kind of an escapism from IRL bs that people often don't really have control over.