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Mar 2023

I am preparing a book for self-publishing and I need feedback on my blurb options.

Opt 1: Superheroes are people too. Despite their perfect physiques and god-like superpowers, they still have problems too. They are parents with families and bills to pay. When duty calls, who do superheroes call to bail them out - the babysitter. Meet Clary Potter, superhero babysitter.

Opt 2:

Thoughts?

I really like the first one, though I'd probably take out that second too.

Oh no, I meant I would take out the word "too" in the second sentence on the first blurb.

The second blurb isn't quite as punchy and the sentences don't flow as well in my opinion.

Gotcha. The second one was honestly written as a gag because it made me laugh. A satire blurb for a satire book.

First one for me. Second is funny but potentially a little misleading (is there actually a squad of babysitters or is it just Clary? Will the children actually be in constant danger?)

I would suggest doing a third option.
For me the first option makes too much emphasis on how heroes are normal so it can get boring (first 3 sentences all mention superheroes being normal I think one sentence describing this would be enough).

The second one is interesting attention wise (have bias for tv references) but super confusing on the plot. You have to read it several times to get it.

If you rewrote the first option I think it could work very well. But as it is now you are being repetitive so try to connect your ideas.

Maybe something like: "In Queensbridge city, superheroes are constantly needed to fight crime. Despite their god-like superpowers, they still have one major weakness. They can't bring their children to their dangerous work! Worry not, as there exists an elite squad known as the superhero babysitting unit. Follow Clary Potter together with his/her companions as they fight for their lives to bring fun, snacks, and naps to the super children."

I mean I super improvised and its probably a bad blurb since I don't know your story and I didn't really put much thought into it (besides the obvious grammar errors I made lol) but it may help you get your ideas flowing.

@InfiniteLine There is technically a "squad" of babysitters but the story follows Clary as the primary MC. Option two is technically just a play on the Law and Order opening. The plot is basically Kari from the Incredibles getting hired to be the primary childcare provider for the entire DC/Marvel pantheon. There is no way she can do it by herself, so she founded a company to manage it all.

@Katzalcoatl I actually like your suggestion. I think it bridges the game nicely!

ORRRR better yet.... ".....as they fight for their lives against smelly diapers, grocery store tantrums, and the ever-dangerous teenage attitude."

I like it but something is missing. I can't put my finger on it.

It just feels incomplete like it just needs one last detail.

Hopefully someone else can pinpoint exactly what I feel is missing.

I really like the idea though.

This is the cover with additional panels in the background and with a superhero in the background

The super hero one looks much better in my opinion. You could even add your MC.

Looks great. Seeing everything slowly working out is fun. Hopefully, it is for all ages because it looks like something kids and parents would enjoy.

1 month later

closed Mar 25, '23

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