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Aug 2016

You get a Mars bar. It happens to be the very first one from a museum. You die from eating the expired candy bar...

I wish this wish would be granted but not corruppted!

Granted, but why would you hurt me like that? :--(

I wish I get all A's this semester,

You get all A's , and you end up becoming the president but as you get indoctrinated you are assassinated by ash because he never got his sandwich

I want time

Granted, You get more time, but you can only get it by jumping into a blackhole, causing gained years to be equally lost.

I wish I was hired as an engineer for nasa

You became a great engineer for NASA whos mission was to help build a sustainable, space-based living quarters. However, you have died in poor unfortunate events from gravitation and your death is classified towards the public.

I wish for a harem.

Granted, but it's a historical Turkish harem, with all the women arguing with you and amongst themselves about whish one's child will become the next Sultan.

I wish my screen wasn't cracked.

Granted, your screen is as good as new... well... except for one annoying dead pixel...

I wish to move on from my obsession with sandwiches.

Granted, but every night you dream of anthropomorphic sandwiches pulling on you and begging for your love again, and every morning when you wake up you feel guilty for wishing away that obsession.

I wish my cheap dollar-store earbuds would last forever.

Granted. You will be forever blessed by their scratchy, poorly balanced dynamics.

I wish that this thread will reach 500.

This thread reaches 500 then 100 then 1000 then 10000 until it breaks a hole in reality from too many posts.

I wish I didn't have ELA homework

Granted. Instead you have ELO homework and have to name all their songs in 1 minute.

I wish my bathroom was connected to my room, rather than being down the hall

Granted, but unfortunately due to the nature of unspecific wishes the room the wish chose was your attic. Let's hope you no longer have a bat problem up there...

I wish Steven Universe would never go on hiatus, but somehow magically the team could still go on vacation.

Granted. While the team goes on vacation, they are replaced with a bunch of hyper-active three year olds. As you can guess, the show's quality takes a bit of a dip.

I wish for a delicious dinner.

Granted. While feasting on a delightful dinner in a restuarant, you decide you want to call the chef over to thank the person. Who came out of the kitchen was none other than Hannibal Lecter, you canni-bal-ieve it.

I wish its fall already.

It's fall already and lots of mammals die because they have no time to hibernate...

I wish someone would never grant this wish...

Granted, but since the wish was granted for the wish to not be granted, a paradox is created puncturing a hole in space-time and allowing the Great Ones to filter down and conquer the Material Realm.

I wish the Great Ones would grant me favor for opening up the portal. Ia! Cthulhu Ftahgn!

1 month later

Wish granted!
Except Great Old Ones become sohorrified of our world after they see it , that they shut the portal and are never seen again.

I wish for the weather to stop being such a shit.

Granted! The weather stops being "a shit" and becomes gallons of shit falling from the sky endlessly.

I wish for an umbrella.

wish granted
but under the umbrella is Rhianna sparring with Chris Brown

i wish for donald trumps daughter