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Jan 2021

So I've been working on Drachenseele and I've been working on trying to build on a more positive and confident mindset towards my own talent and work and tell myself that I can do it and do it well.

However, I've often noticed that the negative thoughts have been creeping back in every so often like "Your characters just jokes." "You can't do it yourself." "Maybe your whole story idea was just bad from the start and you should start over." among other doubts.

Now, I've been getting far better at ignoring those doubts and telling myself the truth that I can do it and my ideas are good and that people will like my stuff, but I'm wondering.... What is a good way to retrain my brain to focus more on those positive affirmations and having those be what my mind defaults to instead of the negative doubts like what happens currently?

I'm kinda curious what a good process for rewiring you mind to think more positively about your work is.

Thanks for the help.

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    Jan '21
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    Jan '21
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Taking a break is one way I help myself. Because if I don't smile and love my work again after being away for a while, that's a sign for me that I DO ACTUALLY either need to change things or turn my attention to a new/different story. Even if you can't not create for a day (guilty), try working on something else. It may light the spark again and boost your confidence once you return to whatever you're stressing about.

With art, I'm never satisfied with my abilities. That's where the support and encouragement of others honestly help a lot. But you can't rely on compliments alone. This is a great question! I'm interested to see how others do it.

Again though, my tip is to take a break and take a step back to really look at what you're creating and how it makes YOU feel. You're what's important.

I have struggled with what you are describing in every area on my life and I was really toxic to myself and gladly I somehow overcame this.

So for me, what has really changed my outlook on life is surprisingly a webcomic on webtoon that I can't find because it was on an account that I have forgotten the password to, but if I find it I will make sure to update because I think that seeing it firsthand is more impactful than hearing it from me haha
So this webcomic talked about a lot of tips and etc and one of them was:
Treat yourself like a kid. Gently and understandingly. For example, imagine a baby trying to say mama but instead failing only saying "ma-", what would your reaction to it? You probably would be like "you are so close!! Great job that was really a good try! Now let's try it again repeat after me". Now imagine if instead you would just start screaming at the baby "you are a total failure, you can't even say a simple word. I hate you, you can't even do a single thing right" that would be totally absurd and even disgusting towards the baby, so why do we treat ourselves like this? Wouldn't it be much better if you treated yourself like how you would treat the baby?

Also something that helped me with art specifically is to implement "I accept only converstive critism" to myself too. So if I don't like something that I created (which is totally ok and it is a part of our journey as artists) instead of giving hate to myself I try to look at it in an objective way and critically and understand why I don't like it so I can improve myself. It really helps with focusing on how to improve and not getting stuck in the "oh no it look so ugly I am not fit to be an artist I should just give up" feeling.

That's a pretty good way of thinking about things. Never thought about the "baby" comparison before, but that reminds me of the "Treat yourself as your own best friend" advice I've heard in the past. You know, you'd never stand for hearing someone say the negative things you say about yourself to your friend, so why say them to yourself?

Heck, I recently realized today when I was encouraging a friend of mine about how cool and unique their series was and I thought to myself, "Dang, I should really be saying this to myself as well. because I'd never say the discouraging things I say to myself to hem or any of my other creative friends here."

So I guess it's a matter of keeping not just the "Treat others the way I want to be treated" rule in mind, but also "Treat myself as well as I treat others." Not to the point of vanity and spoiling, no, but talk to and encourage myself the same way I encourage my friends in that regard.

Good point. You never know if something will take off unless you publish it. To quote a friend of mine, "It's not that people don't like your work, the people who like it just haven't found it yet."

Don't overwhelm yourself and try to keep realistic goals.

When I started my comic seven months ago, I put myself unrealistic goals, and made big unfrequent updates that ended up in rushed artwork and so on.

I'm re-making parts of those chapters now and going for healthier schedules with smaller but more frequent uploads.

I'd say that once you finish a part of your batch, give yourself a rest, then go back and check it out again and make some corrections where you feel you need to.

Also, see where you think you could improve so you could later ask for help (or google it) later.

If you feel insecure about one or more of your skills related to your work, train said skill.

Simple......not neccesarily easy, but simple.....

If you are insecure about your writing, learn more about storytelling.

If you are insecure about your art, find some good tutorials and practice.

If it is another skill, work it......

Whenever you see any art at all, think of something good about it! Reading a comic, what makes you like that panel? A doodle by someone you know -- what do you like about it? You wouldn't look to whoever drew it and say "that's trash, a joke, stupid and meaningless." You'd compliment it! Slowly train yourself not to critic other's work when you first look at it.

Now, pretend that your art isn't done by you. What do you like about it? It doesn't have to be perfect to still be something that's nice. The more you appreciate art, all of it, then gradually you'll start appreciating yours too.

Well you will always have bad thoughts about your work, but you can reward yourself. Such as looking at every mistake as a "learning experience" rather than a mistake. Don't use negative works like "Messed up", "fucked up", "bad", etc. Always look at your work as a work in progress as you become a better artist and writer.

Get some QUALITY Quality Assurance readers, maybe even other creators to be critique partners with who will tell you the truth, but not be jerks about it.

You also have to realize 99% of people who say they are going to do what you do, DON'T OR QUIT, that means you are ahead of 99% who want to do what your doing. Take pride in that, don't get an inflated ego, but be proud of how far you have come, be open to always learning, and look at your art then do something else that makes you happy to reward yourself.

Of course, you're always only one day away from becoming one of the ones who quit. But having done the hard part, getting started, all you have to do is
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

I find the following has worked for me, and it's how I advise my students to think about any of their creative endeavours. (I'm a voice teacher, but my students know I draw, so we sometimes talk about that when we have time.)

  • Accept and appreciate where your skills are at right now. You're likely already much better at what you're doing than the majority of people!
  • Appreciate where your areas of strength are and enjoy them.
  • Identify specific areas of weakness.
  • Address those areas of weakness through focused practice and critique. If it's stiff art or poor anatomy, sketch from life and photographs a little every day. If it's writing, join writers groups (IRL or online) which give good, honest critique. And so-on. By taking steps to improve areas of weakness, you not only improve - you'll also feel good because you're actively doing something about them. It's empowering.
  • Appreciate improvements and successes, no matter how small and/or seemingly insignificant!
  • Don't rush the learning process, and try not to get impatient. You're in this for the long haul and so long as you cultivate good habits, you will improve over time. Not overnight - over time.

This goes for singing, art, writing, and pretty much every creative endeavour you can pursue!

For every bad thoughts that creeps up to me I always counter it with positive things because I always remind myself of the words: "Because I CAN" no questions asked.
like it has become my mantra on almost anything I set my heart to do.
"The idea isn't good? -- I will make it so, even as to scrap it and rebuild it into better ideas BECAUSE I CAN"
"The goal seems impossible -- then I will make it possible no matter how hard it takes, BECAUSE I CAN"
"That is just a hopeless dream you're chasing -- Very well, that's the reason why I will chase it until I reach it no matter what it includes in process BECAUSE I CAN"
For other people, that approach makes it look like I'm intimidating, but I always thought, if I cannot believe in myself or trust myself in the process then who will? It's not being overconfident, it is having the right amount of confidence to go on and keep myself on moving forward, it's a confidence where I know my strengths and weaknesses and accepting them openly, a confidence to accepted the fact that not all the time I'm the best, but at least I manage do what I can do to the best of my ability BECAUSE I CAN; happiness is a state of mind, it's where you are now, or nowhere at all, Always remember that the bitter things can only be better because of you and because YOU CAN.

I think it helps to learn to be forgiving of yourself for not being perfect yet. Especially if it's something you've only done a few times before, or if you're younger and you don't have too much experience yet. Like it's easy to forgive someone else and see the good stuff in their work, it's harder to do it to yourself.

Sometimes you have to step back and say "I have to post it now or I'll never post it." Like every page of every comic I've ever posted is covered in issues, but they take so long to make, that if I don't do it, it'll never happen. So, I work to a point, and just keep going to a different page, saying "I'll fix it later" but 9 times out of 10 I won't fix the issues becuase weeks later when it's time to post the thing I look back at it and I'll realize "this is good enough to go."

Like you have to humble yourself and say "this is who I am, these are my flaws, and I have to let everyone else see it" and that can be really hard to do.

Because art is a lot like music where if you practice alone and no one can hear you, you cannot improve as much as when you perform and get ready for a performance. In art you can study alone for a long time but you gotta post in order to see the improvements that you really want to see in a quicker amount of time, so I see it as a sacrifice--I humble myself and take the L if I screwed up a page or made a mess--but I don't usaully regret even the pages that were hard to read or not as nice. Because, in the end, it made a performance that other people could enjoy, even if it had some rough edges. And I learned a lot, and I got better, so it helped me feel more positive about my abilities as a comic artist.

I've been there. It's an awful state of mind to be in, but as they say, sometimes we're our own worst critics. Once, I even considered quitting writing for good. Then I somehow ended up making my story into a 4 book series. :sweat_smile: Dunno how that happened, but it did. After taking a little break, the ideas started flowing and I remembered why I loved writing the series again. Something I've found that's helped when in that self-doubting state is to remember what I love about the story and why I created it in the first place. Use positive thoughts to block out the negative ones. For instance, why did you write/draw this story of yours? What's something that you've enjoyed while working on it? What's your favorite scene and why?

You might not ever see your work as perfect, but that's okay too. I know I'll never view any of my works that way, but you just gotta keep writing/ drawing (Sorry, I'm not sure if you're working on a comic or novel :sweat_smile:) Whenever you're feeling really down about your creative ability, it could also be time to give it a little break. Sometimes, while we love our works, we can get burnt out on them. Maybe try focusing on a smaller project for a bit or give it a few days away from your work without thinking too much about it. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You've got this.

I relate to this... I guess in the end, what keeps me going is wanting to tell my story, seeing the final villain show up, interacting with the fans, and so on. XD

Do you know (or have you asked yourself) why you are having these specific doubts?

I try to remind myself that I actually like my work and that I'm not a bad writer. It just seems "bad" or "tired" because I've read it a million times. When I read a sample out of context and with some perspective, the work is good.

Whenever this happens to me I just remember that I've put way too much time into my comic, so its far too late to turn back. I've come to learn that any thoughts of self doubt I have are all moot points because I know that pursuing my dreams is more important than a few measly thoughts, so I wont let them hold me back.

P.S. Meditation is a good way to get better control of your own mind, as meditation helps you become more conscious of your own thought patterns. (which it looks like your already doing).

In the end, there is always just one question that you should always ask yourself when you have doubts. And that question is: Do you love what you created and love doing it?

Being confident doesn't only come from art skills, storytelling, promotion, subs all that stuff. Everything starts in your own mind. When you look at people who succeeded, most of them are individuals who just loved doing something and wanted to show it to the world. With that love comes passion and confidence. Even when you need to learn on the way and work hard, your enjoyment of art and your story keeps you moving.

No one can fix this for you. Not even people who praise your work. If you don't love it yourself, it will ultimately fail. Practically, the short answer is, have fun, love what you do, everything good comes with that and you can't succeed without it. That's what I did.

It is good to take your time and get a breather here there. Also, looking at the high points of your art could help as well; I personally do this to see how I improved since then and pushes me to continue.

Staying off the internet a bit may help when the doubts come about.

A little bit, yeah. It mostly seemed to have stemmed from a general feeling of wanting to be stand out from the crowd, big and super successful, and perfect the first time around in the past. At least, that's the best I've gathered from my introspection over the past year or so.

The only thing that helps me is working offline until the work is finished. I find that of I start posting to early, I inevitably get unhappy about the story. Posting it after it is done, and on Tapas just scheduling and walking away is the best for my calm

Stop accepting self-depricating humor as funny and acceptable, and move on with your life. Get off any threads anywhere that are for reviews or feedback or critique and if a site you're posting to has comments that are those, quit the site. Negativity will breed and not help any self-esteem issues you may already have. The result is less voices are heard, yes, but the those that happen are authentic.

Instead of trying to ignore your own thoughts, maybe try changing your habits in a way that allow you to have a healthy relationship with them. Rather than picking up more practices, I tend to look inwards for understanding personal balance.

Why do you want to stand out of from the crowd so much?
Why do you want to be big and super successful?
Why do you want to be perfect the first time around?

For me I am a perfectionist. But I only enjoy perfecting something for the sake of personal mastery and inspiring others. So for me, I try to capture a moment of perfection in whatever I do, but I don't try to do everything perfectly. This really has allowed me to find value in what I've done and who I am, but also keeps me engaged in what I do. For me I went from trying to do comics to just doing portraits again. Now I feel like my art matters enough because I can do it well, but I can also do it better (and other people enjoy it).

I do stuff like meditation and yoga... but really without the inner-work they're really just bandaids.

So... here's a truth of making comics that a lot of people don't really seem to know.

The people who succeed in comics are the people who absolutely love making comics. They love making comics so much that even if the readership is small, they'll still make them. They've usually been making them for years.

You know Emma Vieceli who makes "Breaks", one of the most popular comics on this site? She started out like... doodling comics on just any old random paper and using ink flicked at doilys for screentone patterns, and photocopying them out as crappy little zines to share with friends and family. She had none of the tech, she had no big audience, she just loved making comics. She succeeded because she just made comics for years and years, built an audience, made friends and contacts, got good at making them and learned where her best areas lay. She's worked on so many comics and the early ones probably were only read by a handful of people.

If you want this comic to succeed, you need to find the fun in making comics. You need to absolutely LOVE just the act of drawing out your panels "oh boy, okay we're going to go from this long shot and then the next panel zoom right in on the face with a low-angle shot for impact. What shall I do with the background? Oh hell yeah, flame pattern! This is gonna be rad!" That's what all the pro comics artists I hang out with are like. They're not just nerdy about their IP (in fact for a lot of them, they'll talk in terms of their "current comic" and comics they'd like to make in the future in different styles and genres), they just are absolute dorks about things like panel structure and colour palette and things. A lot of them would make comics for literally nobody, they just happen to have been making comics because they like it for so long they accidentally got really good and people started giving them money.

If you only care about the IP, but don't love making comics, you need to look for another way to sell or pitch it. Comics are incredibly labour-intensive and require a huge amount of motivation, so if a handful of comments and some likes isn't enough to spur you on for several hours drawing next page or episode, it's not realistically gonna work out for you.

I echo @darthmongoose on this one.

When it comes to comics (or digital art even) it's ultra important to not let anything stop you. Obviously not every day you draw will be a cakewalk...that's just the nature of life. But the desire to create needs to be first and foremost. Then application.
Comics are hard, but in my mind are so rewarding. The challenge of each new page (for me) is invigorating.

If you want to change your thinking, it starts with the little things. Instead of thinking "backgrounds suck, I hate them. I'll never get where I want." Change it to "I'm not where I want to be with backgrounds, but if I practice more, I'll get there."

Changing your mentality isn't easy. But it is possible, I know, because I have fought the battle. Still fight it too.
Having a drive for comics is something you can grow, but the key is training it, and kindling that spark. But you won't get there if you don't actually want it deep down.

@LCT_m_a_d @darthmongoose @nathanKmcwilliams

Thanks for the really well thought out advice regarding this.

I think the main big thing I've realized is that even though I love the setting and characters I created and do want to do something great with them, I think I may have started out on the wrong foot when I first came up with them back in 2011. Because I know I mostly started out on my creative journey with these characters looking at the things like Bionicle and The Muppets and going "I wanna make something that's as big as that someday!" when I was a young teen who viewed my world as my oyster and then some. So I think I lot of re-wiring of expectations is in order.

I also realized today that despite the trouble I've been having with Drachenseele, most of those feelings seem to center around the first arc, because when I was planning out the arcs afterwards, I had a feeling of "Oh heck yeah! Now the party's really getting started! Can;t wait to get to this part or draw this character!" as opposed to the "Oh well, gotta get this part out of the way to get to the good stuff first..." feeling that I kinda have for the first arc even though there's a lot of stuff I really enjoy about the first arc as well. I think that might be because of the fact that despite the fact that for the most part, it's a completely new and separate project, it's still also a heavily overhauled remake of sorts for my old comic(s) DRAGOONS/DRGN that I had been working on in some shape or form since 2011 and thus, there might still be a bit of baggage regarding those past failed projects in that regard whereas even though the later arcs still have most of the same characters and some reworked versions of old ideas I toyed with back towards the end of the DRAGOONS era, they are almost entirely new and fresh compared to what I had in mind for the first arc which feels a little bit like I'm just going through the motions again kinda/have that lingering insecurity from the old failed projects even though I like a lot of the characters and stuff in the first arc of Drachenseele and a lot of stuff that's genuinely good about it as well now that I look at it.

So it's mostly just that part of Drachenseele where it seems the most of my doubts come from for some reason. Something I do hope I can get over, soon. Because i feel Drachenseele's got a lot of potential and I especially want to get to the more exciting later arcs as well that I am super hyped for as well.

I don't know what this process would look like, but I would think the first step then would be trying to rework the first arc into something that you enjoy more or have a stronger passion for.

That's definitely something that I can relate with- due to the time-intensive nature of making indie comics, I feel like it can be hard to strike a good balance for navigating the "set up phase". If it takes too long or is too mundane, then not only is it not super fun for the readers, but it's also rough on the creator, knowing that you'll be slogging through this portion of the comic for however many weeks/months before getting to "the good part". But on the flip side, it doesn't always work to just rush through or skip the beginning, you do have to introduce the world and characters in a way that the readers can digest and get invested in.

I'm still trying to figure out my personal ideal balance, but what I've found works for me so far is to expedite the beginning just a little bit. In past projects where I've trying to copy the pacing of professional long-running comic series, or shows, or anything really, I've found that the beginning just takes too long for me, the creator, to get through. I find that there's not much wrong with them as written, but if it takes me months to get to the "good part" I get discouraged and give up. So I have to either make the beginning brief (1-2 scenes, maybe. Enough to establish things, but not long enough that I'll have to spend months and months drawing them) orrrrr just rewrite the beginning to be more exciting to work with. I'm a fan of those "start in the action" type beginnings for this reason. This intro action might not be as exciting as what comes later, but it's still fun to draw and that keeps me going~ I dunno if this will work for you but food for thought :raised_hands:

yeeeee this, going through the same motions doesn't sound very fun, gotta take those motions and rotate them 90 degrees or something >: D :fire: maybe, idk.

Yeah, you're definitely right there. I do like the material I have for the first arc, it's a genuinely solid story with a lot of good stuff in it that people liked when I shared it with them, it's just it feels like I'm just trying again with a failed comic the fourth time and just going through the motions on a loop now. Especially since the first arc or "Season 1" is about 13 to 16 chapters in length with current plans before I get to the parts I'm hyped for.

Not quite sure what exactly I should do to overhaul things so they don't feel samey considering Arc 1 is pretty good and solid right now. I guess maybe I'm afraid of failing again with it as well. I know I probably won't now that I know what I'm doing, but I guess there's still that lingering anxiety from previous attempts with different projects.

This is probably just me, but I think these moments are the most important in any project for me as a programmer and artist. Not the good stuff. It's like when we lose something, we never find it because we keep looking for it in the places we're focused on. Despite the fact that if it were there it wouldn't be missing in the first place.

When I run into these moments I think the ordinary thing to do is rush through it. But anyone can do that and you don't an ordinary story. So the solution, give yourself a vision challenge. Take the "gotta get through" moment, and plug a muppet-like dynamic and see how the story changes itself. It's pretty much what I do whenever the honeymoon period is over in a difficult drawing, or software design. I learn something new about something I already have.

Oh man, that's a lengthy road ahead xD In that case I hope that you're able to get started (with at least storyboards) sooner than later to start charging towards the hype :smiley: :fire:

Good point. I should probably just get right to the storyboards instead of fretting about the scripts. If only to finally get the ball rolling enough to get going.

This is one hell of a run-on sentence. Are you sending good money after bad? Why don't you just start the story where you enjoy making it? With uncertainty like this, imo, it's not a great idea to repeat the past.

Edit: seriously, ever since I first popped up on this forum months ago, you keep agonizing over the same project, endlessly mentioning it. I think you need something else. It's dead, Jim...

That's something I've been debating doing as well. Problem is that the second arc's a direct follow up to the first one and builds off of the previous arc's events. So it might be kinda confusing and nonsensical to just pick up right there without heavy overhauling of the story in its current state.

I don't think so. At least, I certainly hope it's not. Because this time i feel I'm actually know what I'm doing this time around for the most part I think.