4 / 10
Feb 2020

This is my first spin at making webcomics. So any advice would be appreciated! I generally want to know how to increase readership and build a solid base on my platform before going for anything bigger.

Also, let me know if you have anything to add about my comic!

  • created

    Feb '20
  • last reply

    Feb '20
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I like the story and the art so far.
The only issue for me which I don't think is that important, is that the Hebrew looks a little bit stiff for me (as a native speaker) but since most of your readers won't read it I guess it doesn't really matter :sweat_02:

There's a difference between posting a webcomic and printing a comic. I'd use vertical scroll format with larger fonts. I would also do this in color. It can be limited color--duotone, etc.

Also, be a fan, subscribe to work by other artists, leave comments, and generally show your support.

It's pretty good, the art is nice and the lettering is top notch! However, aside from a tiny structure problem (you don't have to put publishing information on a webcomic it's really just gonna take up space there), your biggest problem is transitions. Scenes change from place to place within the page limits, but to someone reading it's just confusing. Use estabilishing shots, LARGE gutters (your gutters are very consistent which is good but not in every situation) when you change the scene entirely, or we go into the next frames trying to figure out why the hair color changed or why everything is covered in dust out of nowhere. I don't need it for main pages for example, but I have a blank white file for when I need to inject artificial spaces between extra content, it's been pretty useful for me.

As JRHoch said, vertical scroll is king in webcomics, but plenty of artists get away with it. If you don't want to reletter and cut up your comic into that format, invest in promotion - social media, communities about webcomics; any opportunities to promote, you need to take them, because finding your audience is very hard in the current day's internet.

Oh wow, thanks for reading! Yeah, I got some help on translating but I guess it didn't pan out the way I wanted it to. Since I don't actually read Hebrew ill have to keep that in mind next time when getting someone. However, the goal was to make it sound more biblical. Is that why it sounds stiff?

Oh yeah I didnt even think about white pages. I'll have to keep that in mind, also yeah transitioning consistency is very important. Thanks!

I hope you don't mind me kind of reviewing it
Your main character (the one with the white hair) is a girl from what I see, but your other characters talk to her as if she is a man.

You:
אתה - for a male
את - for a female

So some things I would fix: (I really hope you don't mind)
You are broken will be
את שבורה

Fear not
You wrote אל פחד
Which is a little bit stiff
אל תפחדי
Will be a lot better (though it translates to don't you (female form) fear

Take me sword, child of my blood. Through sin and chaos I shall grant you the emotions you desire.

You used אאשר to shall grant, which translates to more of 'i approve', again the issue of the female/male tongue
So here is a the 'fixed' version (and I slightly changed it to a higher language since you wanted the Bible effect)
קחי את חרבי, ילד מדמנו.
דרך חטא ותוהו ובוהו, אני אביא לך את הרגשות שחפצת בהם.

I only fixed few things so that I won't come as a harsh person, but sorry if I was too harsh :sweat_02:

Thank you so much! I'll have to write notes on this for future translations since I can't change much now.

Wow. We might have a new classic here!
Excellent job.

It is just so sad that it can’t be fully enjoyed on mobile.
You really should make this in a vertical scroll. I have to keep zooming in to see each frame. And all of them are enjoyable. Don’t hide them away.

And welcome to Tapas. The community with nice people.

A good tip to gain readers (besides making BL) is as @JRHoch said.

Here is some inspiration that might suit your style and genre.
Made by Andres S. Kwan

Hmm ok. Yeah after seeing it on mobile its very small. I might have to make two different versions since I like the computer version a lot. Thanks!