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Dec 2018

Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? I'm asking because I don't know if I should call an ambulance.

Did it hurt, Angel, when you fell from heaven? Because it sure messed up your face.

The worst pickup line ever said to me may be inappropriate for here, but suffice to say, it involved this total stranger telling me about his vasectomy. And he didn't back off even when I made it clear I was married, not interested, and pretty creeped out. Thankfully, he got the hint when I just grabbed my husband and left.

It's dangerous to go alone! Here, take this! (Hold their hand)

I don't remember who did it, but it was the punchline to a comic and it's become my favorite bad pickup line:

"Nice shoes wanna fuck?"

"Are you Franklin D Roosevelt because damn baby you a dime"

A real pickup line my friend got, (I'm not joking, we still reminder her of it too this day)

"Nice art... Wanna yiff?"

When I worked briefly at a fuel station, a guy was flirting with me. After purchasing a lottery ticket, he said "If I win the jackpot, I'll take you out to dinner (winking)." All I could think of was "If you had a job, you could also afford to take me out to dinner."

4 months later

Someone on a dating app used a god awful one that went like...

"It says you like dolls, does that mean you are like a nesting doll, full of yourself."

This was them trying to be flirty

Когда говоришь деушке: "Какая ты красивая!", главное - правильно поставить ударение в первом слове.
I'm sorry...