Apr 2022
14 / 14
Jun 2022
Jun 2022
GumshoeComix
Apr '22
2

I've been posting for a little over a year now and I'm still at 49 readers
My comic used to be in landscape format, now it's in the standard Portrait
I plan on making a scroll format once its finished
I advertize it on every social media site I go on
Twitter Facebook youtube pillowfort Newgrounds Tumblr discord etc

I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong cause usually people who have been posting for a year have 100 readers or more
so since the main critique used to be the format im hoping maybe people could critique my comic for what it is, tell me what you think and thank you.

NOTE
Both me and my writing partner are responding to critiques under this account, Just a heads up

Ah for future reference This was the original cover, the tapas version had to be cropped so much that you can't see the missing poster.

  • created

    Apr '22

  • last reply

    Jun '22
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darthmongoose
Apr '22

All right... let's have a little look here. I'll try to focus on what you're doing that'd impact performance on Tapas specifically.

First off, you're in a bit of a tricky genre making what sounds like a crime thriller in the "Drama" section where I feel like a lot of the content is more relationship drama. It's possible it'd immediately get a boost by moving to "mystery" or "action" or something. Just overall though, a serious gritty crime thriller with a very bold, lurid art style is always going to have a smaller audience on Tapas than other works of a similar quality based on the kind of audience the platform draws.

So right off the bat I can see an issue that'd put people off. The cover. The title is way too small to be comfortably readable when viewed on the app and it's pushed way up at the top without enough padding, which tends to make it look a bit unpolished. The style of the cover doesn't reflect the aesthetic of the interior pages, which are actually more colourful than this might lead somebody to believe. Finally the design of the cover just doesn't really spark excitment or clearly illustrate what the story is about. It's a bored looking guy standing in front of something... a wall? (I can't tell what it is) and then there's this shadowy, barely defined generic evil guy in the background protagonist is not really engaging with, and a cityscape that's barely visible due to low contrast and how small it is overall.
I'd recommend going back to the drawing board and giving your cover some love, think about how you can make it look really dynamic and punchy, engage the reader and illustrate very clearly "this is a thriller about hitmen fighting a serial killer with a bold aesthetic that uses really bold colour combinations."

Also, make a banner. There's really no good reason I can think of not to; it just adds polish to the page. Unique thumbnails for updates wouldn't hurt either in terms of just making it look like you care about your comic and presenting it nicely.

I'd recommend maybe starting with these things first.

The pacing is a bit on the slow side for Tapas, which may be another reason it doesn't have huge traction. Popular Tapas comics tend to get the plot moving very fast. Still, that's more of a thing to think about in future comics or if you decided to reboot than to necessarily go back and fix in the existing comic.

I think the key thing to remember is that when putting a comic on Tapas, if you're going outside of the most popular genres and tropes but you still want to build an audience, you need to compensate by making the presentation as polished and appealing as you can, and the storytelling as engaging and accessible as you can. It's always an uphill struggle when you choose to go outside of stuff like romance and relationship or Fantasy stuff.

GumshoeComix
Apr '22

thank you for all your help
as for the cover what would you personally think would be good for that ?
I have an idea but I want to make sure I do it well
and I'll make a banner to match afterward

darthmongoose
Apr '22

Something involving some of the main characters in the sort of bright contrasting colours you use for pages, maybe there's a hint of an urban environment, like they're in an alley or there's a city skyline looming above them, and maybe they're all standing holding guns out or something or all in action poses or with their backs to the wall, looking out like maybe they're surrounded by something we can't see, or they're on alert, and it's from a nice dynamic angle (doesn't have to be extreme). Then above or below them in nice big, bold, chunky letters, the title.

But it might be that your idea is even better! My checklist would be:

  • Nice big title!
  • Shows off the distinctive, eye-popping art style!
  • Something about it gets across "team of hitmen with interesting personalities vs dangerous threat!"
GumshoeComix
Apr '22

While I do enjoy the idea you've brought forward, the suggestion is fairly unfitting with the intended tone of the story.
There is neither a super team of hitman fighting a singular threat nor is there firearms present as a constant, so action-packed and dynamic poses does not reflect that.
It's a darker story following a singular mentally ill individual as he's forced to work for a hitman cabal.
In spite of the noire presentation, the story is intended to take place in 2002, so a traditional 1940's Noire logo inspiration (Which is what I get the impression is the suggestion) may be misleading as well
But thank you for taking your time to help.

darthmongoose
Apr '22

Uhhhhh..... I just said "bold, chunky letters".... as in.... something readable when it's displayed at postage stamp size on the app.

But okay, good luck.

BoomerZ
Apr '22

I read the first 3 episodes and here's my take. I have zero idea why I should read this. There is no story here. The main is kind of an ass. His therapy session told me nothing about him or why he is that way. There is a lot of pointless banter about anything but a story. There was a birthday party that his dad didn't show to. This is a setting, not a story. The thing with a comic, something has to happen every episode. If nothing happens, it feels like time filler. You never grabbed my attention or hinted at what this is. The rest of the story could be awesome, but I wouldn't know.
For the construction of the comic, I have some problems with the balloons not be placed correctly. Not only do we read left to right, but top to bottom. You have balloon higher than the balloons of the prior dialogue. This makes it confusing. The art I won't comment on as it's just your style. Not my type, but an audience can be very forgiving if the story is good.
Overall I would say you need some time and practice to pull off what you are trying to do.

NickRowler
Apr '22

I read the first few episodes. It seems interesting tho my major concern is the bubbles and dialogue.

Your spacing is too large and the bubbles just look cramped. Here is a guide that can help.

F21E5998-0333-4DCD-B1DB-E06F01ECB84A.jpeg1000x1735 268 KB

I also this some of the dialogue could use a punch up. It feels a bit like a first draft which functionally works but you could do more to give it more character. Like muttering, sassiness, frustration, etc. Something to think about is with every line you write think, “Is there a way to say this better?”

GumshoeComix
Apr '22
NickRowler

I agree with everything you said about the dialog, but it is deliberate for these first few chapters. He is taking a cocktail of prescriptions that severely suppresses his otherwise more active and exaggerated nature that appears later on in the story. I guess I never thought about getting that point across that we was medicated from the get-go, that may be an issue with clarity.
and the bubbles i'll have to fix when i find free time, but I also agree with you there

GumshoeComix
Apr '22
1

ok, I'm going to change some dialogue in the first scene to make it more obvious he's on a cocktail of mood stabilizers that mess with how he typically acts.
This change might take a while since I'm working on other things rn, but that scene was written in 2018 and probably should be re-written anyway

I'm also gonna work on my synopsis since it seems very misleading to me at least

and if anyone else has critiques for my comic im open for them, but i may not be online
Thank you!

GumshoeComix
May '22

  • Made a banner and new cover

  • changed synopsis

  • fixed the first scene to clarify things

I'm going to be working on the typos and text bubbles soon
once all is s done I'll ask what people think of my comic in its newer state :+1:

1 month later

closed Jun 2, '22

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