Stories about social outcasts/journeying out of loneliness

This idea of what defines loneliness feels like it comes from a very cut off space and I find that interesting. These things are in the head to an extent. I always had strong beliefs about the difference between what it means to be lonely and what it means to be in solitude, because it always seemed like lonliness required the longing for human connections, while solitude is for lack of a better term enjoyment despite independance from others. A man can enjoy the freedom of total isolation, being happy in solitude is freedom from loneliness.

I have always lived as an outcast myself for one reason or another and still am in most of my ways. I'm a hermit. Even when I wasn't I certainly felt a deep lonliness even when I was surrounded by others since I can't connect well with anyone online or off. This happens to a lot of people and everyone around them just assumes they are fine until something bad happens.
Many people see the growth of being lonely to being extroverted as the obvious answer to make a happy story. But I find that the transition of a character from being sheltered and feeling lonely like he is totally dependant on other people to tell him how to live or what to like or dislike, to a person who can maintain a level of independance and even learn to enjoy time cut away from the world and people makes for an even better story.

I struggled with this same thing in my own life. Stories made it seem like in high school, you were supposed to have one best, best friend who was basically like your sibling whom you're co-dependant upon and a rag-tag group of weirdos who were your ride or dies. That didn't happen with me, my BFF broke my trust and I haven't spoken to her since. My group of friends in college changed semester to semester, and making friends as an adult is like being back in school again. No magic BFF has come to save me from my loneliness.

As I've learned more about myself, I learned that I am okay being alone. I need solitude to recharge, but that doesn't stop me from making social connections. If I want friends, I have to make them.

In terms of storytelling, I think people use it as an easy way to "other" their characters to make them more sympathetic, while glazing over major plot holes. For example, the MC could be clearly abused by group A, but group B is clearly better because they're more accepting. I wish there was a clean-cut way to fix it.

The only story that comes to mind that touches on this is Watamote. The main character Kuroki wants to be cute and popular, but doesn't get it in the end (in the anime; not sure how the manga goes).

I remember an episode when Kuroki relates to an anime character who was lonely like her until a classmate came by which caused a relationship to blossom. In reality, that never happens since someone sitting alone minding their business usually means "Don't bother me" which is why she doesn't get that same experience as that character.

In my case(and Kuroki's), no one will be my friend, I have to be their friend, but since I'm introverted, social interactions are mentally draining which makes it hard to bother. Those kinds of stories make socializing seem easier than it really is since someone else is doing the work.

Pretty sure you want to argue to just argue about this. When I say sell, I meant in the overall term to "buy" it. It has nothing to do with money. There is nothing wrong to just make a comic for yourself or the possibility of a small group of people to read it. And to say people flock to tragedies for thousands of years doesn't hold water as just look at tapas or webtoons or even hollywood as see what is making money. Money shows what people like as they willingly paid to go see it. It's a way of voting for what you like. I never said the subject is off limits, I say go into with your eyes open to the outcome.

Finally, all your artistic expression talk smacks of elitism. I never said you shouldn't have it but somehow you think I need to become aware that some people still have it. That is not only rude but you imply I don't "get it". No one is censoring you. If you post in a forum, expect people to respond to you with their outlook. Just because its not the outlook you want shouldn't make you defensive. It's a public forum. It's not your forum.

That story sounds like it would be an interesting read.

Personally I don't like reading a story that is depressing all the way through, depending on how you write it I might like. Back when I was still in high school, I read a lot of really depressing stories, especially ones that ended really sad but they almost always end in a way that never felt right for me. Some try too hard to make the reader happy when clearly they never resolved the issue and others don't even try to make a happy ending and just straight up kill anything good in the main character's path.

Though this is just my opinion, so I might look forward to your story if you do ever write it.

A lot of these "lonely/outcast finds friends" tend to just be fantasy. They are superficial the same way romance can be superficial. But I think people just like the escapism of them. I think of something like Naruto or My Little Pony where the friendship ends up giving them superpowers and such.

I do agree that media needs to be more open about how mental health can effect groups of people differently. How you help a lonely able bodied 12 year old girl is going to be very different than how you help a 50 year old man who is a disabled veteran. What happens when there are cultural barriers, language barriers, low income, or they live somewhere that has no community resources?

I think with a lot of these stories, I don't think we need to see the "makes 200 friends" approach. I think normalizing someone just making one friend. People socializing with their family. That someone can be lonely but still have acquaintances who are kind to them (instead of lonely people being hated by everyone). Maybe someone's best friend is their pet. Etc.

I'm seeing a lot of "this sounds interesting, but I don't like depressing stories" and like, there's nothing inherently depressing about being alone. Going on a walk through nature, seeing all that beauty at your own pace on your own terms? Listening to music while dancing and singing terribly because no-ones around to see your cringe? Making sloppy sketches of your favorite obscure characters or writing weird headcanons that no-one will ever read? Eating good food and watching your favorite shows?

There is something to be said about it being sad that you're missing out on human connection, dancing and singing with your friends is more fun than dancing alone. But there is still joy there, you can still find beauty and joy while alone. And if you aren't in a position to create and uphold your connections it's good to see that.

It's been a minute since the last incident, so forgive me if I repeat myself.

I feel like I can see a story like this being made. Like a story about someone finding a hobby that brings them joy, not necessarily meeting people through it (or if they do, it's in passing) and the act of pursuing that hobby brings the main character joy in itself.

It reminds me of something I heard about one guy on Reddit who iirc got out of being an incel once he took up raising shrimp. Of course, the MC doesn't have to start off that extreme.

The only story I can think of that's kind of close to "Main character being on their own and staying that way" is one I found on Wattpad years ago (Adventures of the Travelling Fisherman by CaptinKera), but that does focus on relationships the MC has with other people, even if they're short and fleeting. Also the MC isn't really a social outcast, he's pretty socially adept but just chooses to travel alone.

Relationships can heal, but learning how to thrive while alone can heal in its own way.

Personally, I like stories centered on characters making their peace with a particular aspect of themselves. It's interesting to see them come to the realization of who they are and accept themselves, and that's a totally valid form of character development. Especially when you show everyone around them pressuring them to conform. And that's really at the core for me, the idea that people need to conform vs the acceptance of oneself after gaining a better understanding.

For what it's worth, depressing stories totally sell. It's why we have an entire genre dedicated to drama. I wrote a story on Wattpad about depression, loss, and moving on and it's a Paid Story with a decent readership and plenty of really lovely comments from readers. I didn't really expect it to do so well when I wrote it, because I knew it wasn't what most people on the site are looking for, but I enjoyed writing it and putting forth my take on the topic as it came from a personal point of view. If you're really interested in writing it, you definitely should. There's an audience out there for pretty much anything online.

Good idea, people can relate to a character like that and I´m pretty sure that a lot of
people would be interested in reading a story like that

To be fair, I don't mind stories with social outcasts finding friends as much. Then again I always the type that liked friendship stories because it helped me in some ways when I was younger.

I do believe we could use more stories on learning how to deal with loneliness without needing or waiting for another person. Let's be real, it's harder to make friends the older you get and people in life do leave or come back at times. It help younger people to learn how to be alone without waiting for others to validate them time to time.

Like @VibrantFox said, that's a problem when living in a extrovert-driven society. I think there is a market for stories and you can learn some life lessons from that. Then again, that's my opinion.

To me the "lonely protagonist being 'rescued' by a magical BFF" plot seems like the introvert's fantasy; not the fantasy of condescending extroverts trying to make everyone "normal" or w/e. Many people in your previous thread saying "humans are social animals; a character who doesn't desire interpersonal connections is not realistically human" were introverts themselves.

The "being adopted by an extrovert" meme is also mostly being cycled by introverts; they're the ones jokingly "infantilizing" themselves, not neurotypical extroverts infantilizing them by making fun of how helpless they are. It's basically the platonic version of the "manic pixie dream girl" trope.

If we're talking about a trope that actually seems to be about extroverts "fixing" introverts, it's the "comedic duo" of the quiet, serious one and the loud, silly one, where the latter continuously annoys and harasses the former and the former is treated as "a meanie stick in the mud who takes things too seriously" when they rightfully get annoyed at the latter ... until the quiet, serious one undergoes "character development" and learns to "loosen up" (i.e. accepting the loud, silly one's actions bc they're a nice person who just wants to help you break out of your shell).

But I do like your approach to subverting the "lonely protagonist being 'rescued' by a magical BFF" trope. I myself was lonely and wanted someone to "adopt" me as their friend when I was younger, but a Watamote-style message of "you gotta take initiative and be the one to make the effort to improve yourself and make friends" would have seemed very "prescriptive"; like we're still operating under the assumption that friendship is a need and this it's my "job" to put in effort to acquire that friendship, with no thought given to my cost-benefit analysis on tradeoffs and whether my desire for friendship is actually worth the risk and resources it costs me.

It's valid to want friendship but also choose to not spend the costs to pursue it if it's too much of a tradeoff. It is an option. As long as you're not blaming other people for the costs being too high, it doesn't make you a friendship-incel.

If I had to guess, it's probably because the title mention social outcasts (which implies a character is not alone by choice, but because they're being actively rejected by the people around them) and loneliness (which as @Nugtown mentioned is different from solitude). The OP itself does explain in more detail, but titles tend to stick in people's heads XD

Reading through this topic making me realize that whenever I write this sort of dynamic, the introvert character is that way by choice? Like they have little to no friends, and maybe they'll feel occasional pangs of loneliness, but they have no particular desire to make new friends. And the extrovert who comes into their lives is mostly just annoying to them—even if they do tend to become some form of friends by the end of the story, usually through some mutual compromise. Not sure what that says about me, lol.

Anyway, yeah, agree with the general consensus of "you don't need someone else to validate you" being a worthwhile message that could stand to be shared in fiction more often.

After reading some of the other comments, while I agree that some writers do actively write stories about overcoming loneliness and finding connection - it seems really more of a plot device/trope than the writer trying to be deep.

In the heroic journey, the MC has to have some defining moment that pushes them onto their journey. There also has to be something that prevents them from going back to their previous life. For example, Luke Skywalker HAD to lose his aunt and uncle to set him on his Jedi journey. They couldn't just be lounging around at home for him to come back to.

But unfortunately, the plot device has warped into the trope of "MC is always lonely, orphaned, abused" as an instant way to garner sympathy. The Dursleys HAD to be horrible to Harry to give him proper grounds for abandoning the human world in favor of his new world. Ron is the convenient instant bestie who shows up to help teach him about the new world. Hermione is the token girl bestie that has to be in the dynamic. The MC's loneliness officially goes away when they either find out that they're biologically related to another character or they pair off with one half of a sibling set, making the group all related.

It happens in a ton of genres. Werewolf romances - the MC is always abused/orphaned so she can leave her terrible life goodbye in favor of the better life with her lover. Shifter romances - the MC is now an adult, but she's an only child, parents sick or dead. Her bestie betrays her so the MC has no ties to her previous life. Even Twilight did this, Alice's singular role is to be Bella's vampire best friend. Bella happily isolates herself from her old life to dedicate to her new life.

MC needs to meet a mysterious group of people who change their lives - someone's the awkward new kid. If their partner is the new kid, the MC has little to no friends to stop them from getting involved in the plot shenanigans.

Even Disney is guilty of isolating their protagonists. The vast majority of their princesses are socially isolated. It's a large part of Elsa and even Belle's personal story arcs. I don't think it's necessarily "wrong" to include loneliness and isolation in your stories, but I think you should look past it as a quick character "flaw" to give your MC. One of my favorite versions of Beauty and the Beast, she has a loving and supportive family/community to go home to. She still struggled with self-doubt and a desire to fit in, but her choice became 10x more impactful because people missed her when she left. No one "saved" her from her loneliness but she grew out of those feelings as she developed as a character.