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May 2016

Granted, but it becomes so popular that it out-competes all the domestic fizzy fruit juices. (Uh, had to google this one.)

I wish for a squish.

Granted, but the squish is a sasquish, like a sasquatch but squish. It's a vicious predator that will hunt you for sport.

I wish for world peas

Granted but the peas devour you and the rest of humanity.

I wish for domestic, miniature, dragons as pets.

granted, but you get complaints from the neighbors about your fire alarms always going off

i wish for a freeze ray

Granted. A man named Ray Freeze move next door. He likes ice cubes a little too much.

I wish for INFINITE POWAAAAAH!!!

Granted, but infinite power is so vast, your human brain fries before you can completely grasp it.

I wish a sandwich would appear before me whenever I was hungry.

Granted, but it was always a disgusting sandwich

I wish to be indestructible

Granted. You're only emotionally indestructible (you get shot by Rambo impersonator)

I wish teleportation was real.

Granted. But you can only teleport to random locations like the moon, or an active volcano

I wish the next person, could only type with their eyes closed

Granted. I hit each key as I blink.

I wish that transparent woman would stop floating over the foot of the bed...

....that's kinda clever
Granted. You are now that transparent woman, have fun with that

I wish that the next five people, had to type backwards

Granted, you are now a slug and can comunicate with all species of slugs (they don't obey you though)

@Akamasuta voshxdaemon just forgot to corrupt the wish, people just have to type "backwards" that I technically just did.

I wish for the next person to die

Granted. I come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your life.

I wish I wasn't a ghost anymore.

Granted. You're now a zombie.

I wish I can wish for something without it getting corrupted.

@AshKetchup
Bad luck for you. I already tried that one

Granted, but you lose the game

I wish that
1. everyone else had to type / speak like 1966 Batman and Robin
2. I was excluded from the rule
3. The wish could not be canceled by another wish
4. That i could modify this, incase someone manages to break it

@lilybugged
5. There is no hidden clause in my system Ha Beat That!

Granted, but eventually the batman and robin voices get to you to the point that you commit suicide, and the effects of your wish are cancelled by way of a hidden clause in your system. Surprise!

I wish my cat would stop climbing on my keyboard goddamnit

Granted, your cat now climbs on your monitor
I wish I was more motivated

Granted, you are the most motivated person in the world... for 1 second and now you're lazy again.

I wish I had good luck for as long as I live.